Reno Is God
by purefoysgirl
Summary: If religious irreverence bothers you, off you go. KadajxRenoxYazoo Yaoi. BTW--this story has NOTHING to do with my other stories, it stands on its own.
1. Kadaj Has a Sucker

A/N: This story was the result of me needing an amusing side-project while I worked on Eromenos: The Beginning, but now it has just grown out of control and I think it needs to be let out. I posted it on my LJ and got a few laughs, so please enjoy—believe me, there are _several_ more chapters to come.

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Kadaj sucked contentedly on his sucker, eyes rolling a little as sugary sweetness filled his mouth and senses. _Nissan_ was watching him with wary, hooded eyes, but Kadaj ignored him. Cloud was just so _dull_.

If Yazoo hadn't been so intent on hiding with Reno in the bedroom then Kadaj wouldn't have even come down to the bar in the first place. But he supposed it was a good thing. He'd never been in Reno's bedroom for any reason—not for lack of Reno trying, it was Yazoo's protests that kept him away—but apparently the red-haired, strange, and groping man was some sort of deity.

"What are you doing here, Kadaj?" Cloud asked him, still wary.

Kadaj popped the sucker Tifa had given him out of his mouth with an audible plop and smiled at his nervous older brother, saying, "Yazoo is worshipping again."

Cloud looked confused. That was not a rare thing.

"I'm pretty sure that Reno is god," Kadaj informed him, rather proud to be living with a divine being.

"What?" Cloud asked, bewildered. He was so _cute_ when his eyebrows drew together like that! Kadaj leaned forward and touched them, childlike, but Cloud pulled away with a scowl. "Kadaj, Reno isn't _god_."

"Is so," the boy insisted. Cloud shook his head, causing Kadaj to be more emphatic, saying, "Is _so_! Every time they go into the bedroom all Yazoo does is scream 'oh my god!'"

Cloud blushed and looked horrified.

Kadaj looked proudly vindicated.

"So, Reno is god," he reasoned, and returned to his sucker with single-minded intensity, his smirk smug around the paper stick of the sucker. "Maybe some day Reno will let _me_ worship Him, too…"

"_Tifa_!" Cloud yelled, looking panicked as he stared wildly at Kadaj. "We have got to get Kadaj _out_ _of that_ _house_!"


	2. Cloud is a Big Bully

"Just because _you_ aren't religious doesn't mean that _I'm_ not!" Kadaj scolded, pointing at Cloud with his sucker. "I'm not leaving Yazoo anyway, you bully."

"Kadaj, it isn't _healthy_ for you to be in that environment!" Cloud insisted. "A boy your age shouldn't be exposed to such…such…such _lewdness_."

"Oh, Cloud, you're such a fuddy-duddy," Kadaj sighed, popping the sucker back in his mouth, closing the discussion as far as he was concerned.

"I swear, Kadaj, that if that Turk has so much as laid a _finger_ on you—"

"It's none of your business anyway," Kadaj informed him, talking around the diminishing sucker. He rolled it on his tongue to rest in the pocket of his other cheek. "It doesn't upset Yazoo or Loz, _Nissan_—I don't see why it should upset _you_."

"It upsets me because that whole situation is…" Cloud trailed off, searching for the right word to express his outraged shock and indignation. "_Vulgar_!"

"What's vulgar?" Tifa asked, coming down the stairs in response to Cloud's shout. She ruffled Kadaj's hair affectionately, smiling when he butted against her hand like a content little cat. "You're so _cute_, Kadaj!"

"That's part of the problem," Cloud said, bitter. "They can't live with Reno, Tifa—he's already managed to debauch Yazoo and now he has Kadaj thinking he's god."

"He _is_," Kadaj chimed in, nodding sagely at Tifa, only to be scowled at by Cloud.

Tifa looked amused, a slight smile playing around her full lips.

"God, is it?" she mused, and laughed a little. "I always knew there was _something_ about him—"

"Well there isn't!" Cloud snapped, uncommonly out of sorts. Kadaj didn't think he'd ever heard Cloud raise his voice before, and he'd certainly never seen him in such a state of agitation. "Kadaj thinks that going into Reno's bedroom is the equivalent of worship—"

"It works for Yazoo," Kadaj said.  
"—and personally I think it's disgraceful!" Cloud finished, affronted. "He's just a child, he shouldn't have to be fending off a lecherous man."

"I'm not fending off anyone," Kadaj protested. "Yazoo won't let me in their bedroom because he says Reno might ignore him. I went in there once when Reno asked me to take a shower with him, but Yazoo caught me and told me that if he ever saw me anywhere _near_ the bedroom again he was going to cut my hair while I was sleeping."

Tifa arched an eyebrow, impressed.

"Like _anything_ is worth cutting my hair!" Kadaj sighed, lovingly touching his silver locks. He tossed the soggy sucker stick into the garbage and stood, saying, "Bye, then! They're probably done by now anyway."

"Tifa, we can't leave him there!" Cloud protested, clearly bothered by the idea.

"Oh, Cloud, don't be so overbearing," the woman said, waving away his fears. "Kadaj has lasted this long, hasn't he? You already absolved yourself of any responsibility where they're concerned, so it really isn't any of your business how Reno deals with them."

Cloud gave her a disbelieving stare, sure that some alien had possessed Tifa's body and overthrown the caring, concerned woman he knew.

"All I'm saying is that Kadaj is an adult, Cloud, however little you like it," she gently explained. "He can do _what_ he wants with _who_ he wants."

"That's right!" Kadaj agreed, and bounced towards the door, calling back with a cheery wave, "Bye-bye! See you later!"

Kadaj skipped home, too delighted by the beautiful day to do anything so monotonous as just _walk_. It wasn't far to the apartment he and his brothers shared with Reno, and he made it back within fifteen minutes—and that was even counting the time he spent returning fascinated smiles and flirting a little. It felt good to flirt, to know that people thought he was beautiful, to realize that others noticed how nice he kept his hair and how well he dressed. Reno had taken them all shopping not long ago, letting them buy whatever they wanted because, as he'd said, it was, "Rufus Shinra's dime, yo. And he's got tons to spare."

Several people passed him on bicycles and the contraptions fascinated the boy. They looked _fun_! Deciding that he wanted one, he fished out his key and let himself into Reno's apartment.

"Are you done?" he yelled, wondering where Loz was. Mr. Rufus Mother-Hater Shinra kept trying to get Loz to come work for him, but the big man collapsed into frantic tears at the thought of leaving the sheltering apartment—it would seem he got over it, he was nowhere around when Kadaj made his way into the cool, dim interior.

"Hey, Princess, where've you been?" Reno yelled back.

Kadaj didn't like being called a woman's affectionate nickname, but Reno always _forgot_ his name, so it just kinda wound up sticking—even Yazoo and Loz had started to call him 'Princess.' It made Kadaj impatient, but how angry could one really get at _god_?

"Seventh Heaven!" he said, wriggle-dancing his way into the living room. "Where's Loz?"

"Boss came and collected him," Reno told him, emerging from the Forbidden Room still toweling his wild red hair. "Yazoo went with him in case he had a meltdown—your lug-head brother sure is a weird one, yo."

"He's very delicate," Kadaj solemnly said, somberly thinking of poor Loz and all of his insecurities. Brightening, he said, "I want a bike!"

"Yeah? I want a million gil," Reno told him, tossing the towel at his head and heading for the kitchen for his coffee. Yazoo always kept the coffee pot full. Besides alcohol, it was the only thing Reno ever drank.

"No, really!" Kadaj said, trailing him, idly dropping the wet towel on the floor. It was a habit of his, following Reno or his brothers around the house, asking endless questions until someone pelted him with a pillow or groped his bottom until he got fed up with it. Reno looked at him as if he'd _like_ to grope his bottom, but one hand had a coffee mug and the other had a cigarette and both of those things were more pressing at the moment. "I want a bike!"

"What do _I_ get out of it?" Reno snorted, gulping his coffee.

Kadaj cocked his head and sweetly asked, "If I pray for it, will I get it?"

Reno shrugged, confused, and said, "Yeah, sure you will, yo. Whatever."

Kadaj clapped, delighted, and spun a quick, breathless circle in place, giggling as the world swam dizzily.

Reno was smiling at him, amused by his happiness. Whatever _Cloud_ thought, Kadaj knew Reno loved them…even if it was a weird kind of touchy-love and not at _all_ like brother-love…which was getting kinda mixed up since they moved in with him.

Deciding to take the plunge, Kadaj took a deep breath and gave Reno the Big Eyes, asking, "Reno, are you god?"

The man's expression grew crafty and he answered, "If I say yes will you let me fuck you?"

Kadaj laughed a little and said, "I don't think I understand what that means!"

Reno's grin turned predatory and in a coaxing voice he said, "Come here and I'll show you."

Suspicious, Kadaj asked, "Does it involve you and Yazoo's bedroom?"

"It doesn't _have_ to," Reno answered. "It works anywhere, yo."

"Does it _usually_ involve your bedroom?" Kadaj amended.

Reno's gaze turned thoughtful and he said, "Sometimes, yeah."

"Will it make Yazoo upset?"

"Probably, but he's sensitive, yo."

"Then, no," Kadaj told him. "Yazoo said he'd cut off my hair while I was sleeping! He thinks you'll start ignoring him."

Reno laughed at him and told him with a cocky leer, "Princess, if I'm god, I can keep my baby from cutting off your hair, yo. Ignored, huh? Fuck, he should know better by now…"

"It _does_ sound like you have an awful lot of fun worshipping," Kadaj said, wistful.

"You gotta try it to know," Reno pressed, his grin infectious. Kadaj, always rather spontaneous, responded with his own happy grin and giggled again, just happy to be alive and freed of Mother's pressing demands.

"You grin at me all adorable and wonder why I wanna ride you through the headboard, yo," Reno teased, downing his coffee. "Come on, let's do this, Princess. Yazoo can join us when he gets back."

"What about Loz?" Kadaj asked, concerned. He didn't mind it when Reno grabbed his wrist—he was used to being handled by him, and even allowed himself to be coaxed into certain things that left him all tingly and flushed…like the time Reno pinned him in the foyer while Yazoo was making dinner and slipped Kadaj's hand down his pants. _That_ had been fun, though Kadaj didn't really understand what he'd done. He'd touched himself the same way later that night but the resulting strong reaction had rather shocked him and he'd run crying to Yazoo, who'd slapped Reno, who'd retaliated by hauling Yazoo over his knees and spanking him hard, and they'd wound up worshipping again while Loz comforted Kadaj and told him not to worry, he was just growing up.

_Confusing_.

"Loz ain't coming back again, Princess," Reno said, stubbing out his cigarette. "He finally agreed to go work for old Rufus and now he's got a place down the street. He wanted to take you with him, yo, but he had other ships to pass in the night."

"Loz went _sailing_?!" Kadaj gasped, utterly ecstatic at the prospect. "Oh, _I_ want to go!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, we'll go sailing," Reno told him, and headed for the bedroom with Kadaj in tow.

"Are we going to worship now?" Kadaj questioned, heart thrumming to finally be let in on their secret.

"You bet," Reno told him, tossing a wink over his shoulder. "Where'd you get this worshipping stuff anyway, Princess?"

"From Yazoo," Kadaj told him, following him willingly enough. "Because he's always screaming, 'Oh my god!' at the top of his lungs when he's in here."

"Is he?" Reno asked, opening the door and pulling him inside. He closed it with a bang but he didn't lock it. When he smiled at Kadaj the boy smiled back, excited and delighted and strangely breathless. "Guess it's your turn, now, Princess."


	3. A Place of Worship!

At first Kadaj was a little disappointed—for a place of worship, the room Reno shared with Yazoo was remarkably _plain_.

"Whatsa matter?" Reno teased. "Already having second thoughts, yo?"

Kadaj wrinkled his nose at the perfectly ordinary bed and the neat, elegant furnishings that he might find in _anyone's_ bedroom. Well, anyone with a good amount of money and awesome taste. But however nice it was, it didn't seem like the kind of bedroom Kadaj imagined god would sleep in.

"Reno, _that's_ a regular bed!" he pointed out, giving the man a severe frown.

"Yeah, so? What'd you think we slept on, yo? _Clouds_?" he sniggered a little at some joke Kadaj didn't quite understand, but the boy impatiently plunged on, snapping, "Reno, why would _god_ sleep in a regular bed?"

"Because _god_ gets a backache when he sleeps on his couch, now stop bitching," Reno told him.

Kadaj considered the answer fair enough and nodded a little. So god enjoyed regular things—he already knew that from Reno's daily habits when he happened to be _not_ at work.

"Besides, it's no ordinary bed, yo," Reno told him, his voice falling into a mocking, conspiratal tone. "You gotta get _in_ it to know what I mean."

"Really?" Kadaj whispered, eyes wide. He had an inkling that he was headed for more things like that time in the foyer, but the thought didn't bother him at all. His body had been doing _weird_ things lately, and now Loz was gone so he couldn't talk to anyone about it. Those weird things started afresh at the idea of getting to palm Reno again and he felt himself blushing. He looked at the bed with new appreciation and solemn awe. "Okay."

"Hey, relax, will you?" Reno told him. "I'm just playing with you, yo. C'mere."

Kadaj smiled when Reno hauled him up close. He _loved_ hugs! He threw his arms around Reno's slender neck and snuggled to his chest, sighing in bliss. Reno was warm and all muscled and had skin that was very nearly as soft as Yazoo's…_nearly_. Kadaj wriggled up tight against him and heaved a sigh of contentment when Reno's arms hugged him tight. Reno hugged him _a lot_—and most of the time he didn't even try to grope Kadaj's bottom when he did it, he just indulged the boy's need for affection.

But groping seemed to be on the menu _this_ time, and Reno wasn't the one who started it. Kadaj became aware of something very hard and rather large poking him in the belly through the light pajama bottoms Reno had thrown on after his shower. Curious, thinking that it might just be the same thing he'd held before, Kadaj pulled back and, asking, "What's poking me?" he slid his hand down over it.

Reno jumped and Kadaj jumped, too, startled and a little afraid he'd done something wrong. Worried, he snatched his hand back and tried to shift blame, complaining, "You were _poking_ me with it! I just wanted to see what it was!"

"Fuck, calm down," Reno told him, rolling his eyes. "I forgot how fucking ridiculous virgins are, _fuck_."

"You shouldn't curse so much," Kadaj said, parroting Cloud's oft-repeated statement.

"Fuck you, too," Reno amiably told him, and slid the waistband of his pants out a little so Kadaj could get an eyeful of what had tented the material so much. Freed of the tighter waistband, it sprang up against Reno's belly, standing tall above the lip of his pants.

Kadaj felt his eyes go round and big, staring. _He_ had something rather like that, too, only it wasn't up to the same dimensions, not even by a long shot…except when it started doing _weird_ things that made Kadaj cranky until it stopped.

"_Wow_," he breathed, and gave Reno the Big Eyes again. "Can I touch it?"

"You'd _better_," Reno told him, and reached for his cigarettes on the dresser, lighting one while Kadaj cautiously slipped his fingers over the sticky tip, fascinated. Yes, it _definitely_ was what he'd touched a few times before, only then it had been hidden beneath the material of Reno's pants and loose shirts, the only sign of Kadaj having touched it being a lingering stickiness on his hand and a faint scent of salt and Reno.

Reno interrupted his inspection, saying, "Like I showed you, Princess."

Pouting a little to be distracted from his exploration, Kadaj twisted his hand, palm towards Reno, and gripped it tight in his fist. The waistband of Reno's pants slid up over his wrist and Kadaj stroked him like Reno had shown him the first time—a quick and whispered block of instruction in the foyer. Luckily for them both, Kadaj was a good listener and his one token, loud compliant had gone unheard by Yazoo in the kitchen. Otherwise it wouldn't have been a _chicken_ Yazoo would've cooked…or so Reno had told him.

"Mmmm, that's the stuff," Reno breathed, head falling back a little as he sighed out a contented cloud of smoke, his big blue eyes hazy. "Not so fast, yo—we got a lot to go over."

Kadaj obediently slowed down the pumping of his hand, liking the slickness that coated his squeezing fingers, his own body starting to get all hot and tingly. He felt suddenly too hot and flushed, almost uncomfortably so.

"Enough, enough," Reno told him, his voice mild, his free hand pulling Kadaj's own away. "You too warm baby? You look a little like you're gonna pass out on me."

"I'm _hot_," Kadaj whined, fanning himself a little because he was starting to get nervous.

"Fuck, don't _I_ know," Reno said, his laugh short and abrupt as he stubbed out his cigarette. He reached for Kadaj and pulled him up close again, mouth grazing the tender skin of his throat.

Kadaj squealed a little and wriggled against him, crying, "That _tickles_!"

But it more than tickled. Reno's mouth was soft and warm and wet, whispering over his sensitive skin, sucking and kissing. One strong, slender hand moved down his back, tugging at the hem of his shirt while the other hand slid around to pop the button on his loose jeans. When Reno pulled away and started to draw Kadaj's shirt up, the boy's eyes went round as dinner plates and he cried, "_What are you doing_?"

"Well, aren't you hot?" Reno asked, reasonably, not upset with him at all. Kadaj felt as if he _should_ have been upset—here he was giving Kadaj an opportunity to worship, and all Kadaj did was complain.

"Yes," Kadaj answered, his voice weak and small, his pulse slamming against his throat with a visible tick.

In reply, Reno yanked his shirt up and off and unzipped his jeans, letting them fall in a puddle around Kadaj's slender feet.

Suddenly exposed, Kadaj _did_ feel a lot better, and relaxed, preening a little to have Reno staring at him. He knew he had nice skin—it was pretty and soft and pale, a little like moonlight, if you asked him. And he'd gotten no small amount of comments about his beautiful face, something that appealed to his rather vain disposition as well as his tender age. He examined himself in the bathroom mirror every morning, turning this way and that to be sure the contour of his hips hadn't changed, to see if the tight tuck of his belly was still so flat and pretty, to reaffirm that his slight sway back still curved so invitingly down to the high, firm swell of his very grope-worthy bottom.

Reno stared at him like an alcoholic would a shop full of free whiskey, and Kadaj smugly thought that he was correct in doing so. Smirking, the youth pulled an imaginary snarl out of his silky silver hair, turning a little to present his slim waist in brief profile. Seduction wasn't something he knew how to do, but Kadaj liked to keep people fascinated and he'd found that such postures usually did the trick.

His pride suffered a brief blow, however, when Reno nodded a little and consoled him with, "Well, you'll fill out as you get older, yo—but you'll do."

"_What_?!"


	4. The Magic Bed!

Reno laughed at his outrage, sniggering at Kadaj's obvious irritation.

"Nothing personal, baby, you're just a little young, yet," he told him, scooping Kadaj up to lift him away from the pile of his clothing.

"You know, for god, you're _very_ thoughtless," Kadaj informed him. "Aren't you supposed to be nice to everyone?"

"You think?" Reno teased, and dumped him down on the bed. The comforter was smooth burgundy silk stuffed with down and Kadaj was momentarily distracted by it, cooing, "_Ooooh_, _soft_…."

He squeaked a little when Reno clambered over him on all fours, his slender body looming over Kadaj's own and making the boy feel rather undersized and helpless—both things he didn't take kindly to at _all_. He liked being so pretty but he _hated_ being so petite because it made people treat him like he was much younger than he really was…however old _that_ might be.

Reno crawled over him and hauled him further up the bed, all the way until his head hit the pillows. When he hunkered down on his elbows, his big blue eyes danced with delight and he grinned at Kadaj, asking, "Any other complaints, yo? I got a suggestion box, but it's kinda full of things like, 'stop world hunger' and 'why did my wife leave me' so _your_ issue may have to wait awhile."

Kadaj frowned. He hadn't thought of _that_. He probably wouldn't get his bike very soon, considering. He gave Reno the Big Eyes and said in his smallest, sweetest, 'poor little me' voice, "But I really wanted a bike."

Reno cocked his head, puzzled but amused, and said, "Yeah, sure, a bike. Got it."

Ecstatic to have been launched to the head of the queue, Kadaj gave him a happy grin and sighed, "_Thank you_!"

"No problem, yo," Reno told him. "Now quit talking so much or we'll never get this done."

Kadaj realized suddenly that he was, indeed, on the magic bed, and felt duly awed to _finally_ be allowed to worship as Yazoo did. So far it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, except that he was naked—still, if he'd taken that shower with Reno the time Yazoo had stopped him, he'd have been naked _then_…

His thoughts cut off abruptly when Reno dropped his shaggy red head, the tips of his hair tickling Kadaj's throat and chin, and started kissing his chest. Surprised, Kadaj lifted his hands a little, unsure of what to do, but then Reno's warm and skillful mouth found one pale pink and virginal little nipple and the boy yelped, startled by how it felt. That slowly stabbing tongue teased him, Reno's hands gripping his ribcage tightly, his mouth sucking and his sharp teeth gently nibbling.

He paused long enough to whisper, "Relax, Princess, let daddy do his thing…"

Kadaj was uncertain but he _trusted_ Reno. Any time he'd been upset, Reno had done his best to soothe him. Whenever he needed hugs or kisses, Reno doled them out without asking for anything in return. He even seemed to know when Kadaj was out of patience fending off groping hands and never _ever_ groped him then. He even brought the boy little gifts when he came back from missions, knowing how Kadaj enjoyed being remembered. There had never been a single instance of friction between Reno and _anyone_ living in his apartment, and as a result they all loved him.

So Kadaj closed his eyes, dropped his hands to Reno's shoulders, and sighed a little as the man's mouth woke odd, aching desires in him. He giggled when his belly started tightening, and Reno laughed softly against his flesh, enjoying his innocent reactions.

"You're tickly," Kadaj told him, and gasped when Reno bit him, his teeth barely grazing his skin.

"Good thing you're so patient, yo," Reno said, lifting his head for a moment before dropping his lips to Kadaj's other nipple.

The boy was ready for it this time, and got a little breathless when everything started to mellow into a loose, tingly heat that made his body do the same weird thing it had done when he'd touched it. It didn't scare him this time, because it didn't scare Reno and he knew the man would be the first in line to tell him if something was off or weird. Reno was always the one who sent him packing back to the room he shared with Loz whenever Kadaj came bouncing out in something "_way_ fucking less than appropriate!" and refused to allow Kadaj to leave the apartment until he changed. So, yeah, if anything was happening to him that shouldn't, Reno would _definitely_ let him know.

"That's better," Reno murmured, and trailed kisses down his belly to dip his tongue into Kadaj's navel.

Kadaj had a sudden startling, anticipatory terror that Reno's mouth might wander even _lower_, and he was certain that bad things would happen if that were the case. But Reno's warm lips whispered over his flat belly to nip at his sides and descended no lower than his belly button. Kadaj was both relieved and a little disappointed.

Until he felt Reno's hand brush the bare skin of his thigh. On the _inside_.

Kadaj tensed, eyes wide, all lethargy forgotten.

"Relax," Reno told him again, his big blue eyes hazy with lust when he lifted his head. He stretched out next to Kadaj and rolled half atop him, propping himself up on one elbow to tickle his fingers up the boy's slim thigh. He leaned over a little to kiss Kadaj, distracting him from those disturbing fingers. "See? It's not so bad, Princess. You just gotta relax and trust me, yo. I'd never do anything bad to you. Put your arms around me."

Kadaj obediently lifted his slim arms and looped them around Reno's neck, warming with each soft kiss. It was nice to have Reno's tongue in his mouth, and the man kissed him until Kadaj figured out how to do it back, mimicking his movements. He could feel the hard heat of Reno's body against his other thigh, and those fingers still tracing lazy circles on his delicate skin, slowly spiraling higher and higher…

"_Oh my god_!" he gasped, jumping when those fingers brushed over his sensitive sac and brought with them a wash of shuddering pleasure. He jerked in a hard recoil but the man's slender but oh-so-strong body held him trapped and those lips swallowed down his embarrassed whimpers. He squealed in soft protest but Reno's tongue darted deep and his warm, sensitive hand gave him a slow, knowing stroke.

"Oh my god!" Kadaj whimpered, eyes closing, going boneless. He felt too full for his own skin, amazing pleasure building pressure in his groin under Reno's firm, skilled fingers. His hips rocked of their own accord, his slim back bowing a little in response.

"There's my baby boy," Reno whispered, his voice husky. It embarrassed Kadaj to no end to know that Reno was watching him, was _seeing_ this, but that hard heat was pulsing in a throbbing beat against his leg and it only added to his pleasure. "Give it to daddy, Princess—lemme see the first cum you've ever had."

Kadaj didn't know what he meant but he could hardly focus on words anyway. The pressure in his groin built to amazing proportions and he sobbed in abject pleasure as that slowly stroking hand made him erupt into a thousand tiny, sharp pieces of pure sensation. His hips arched up hard against Reno's quickening fist and he wailed his first orgasm into the man's suddenly frantic mouth as something hot and wet came bursting out of him to coat his belly—pleasure made physical, the most amazing thing of his life boiling down to a hot explosion that shot out over the top of Reno's fist.

"Oh, that's it," Reno groaned, still stroking him, still swallowing his sobbing moans with deep, sucking kisses. "Keep going, baby, give me everything you've got."

Kadaj whimpered, writhing beneath him, riding the crest of his climax until he was sweating and drained, shuddering sharply with each pull of Reno's tight fist. The man slowed down, stroking him gently, caressing that viscous white liquid down his length and back up until Kadaj grew soft and pliant in his hand.

After a moment of ragged breathing, Reno finally asked, "How'd you like that, brat?"

Kadaj could only stare at him with huge, disbelieving eyes, unable to put into words what he'd just felt.

Reno seemed to take silence as the best compliment, and rubbed his wet hand over Kadaj's belly, spreading the mess of it over his skin, sniggering, "Fuck if _that_ ain't a load and a half! You need to start jerking off, kid—I'm surprised your balls haven't burst."

Kadaj squeaked softly, horrified, and whispered, "I could _burst_?!"

Reno laughed, amused, and shook his head, contrite when he said, "Nah, I was just teasing you, yo. You won't burst. But you _do_ need to start jerking off—kids your age do that, you know."

Kadaj shook his head. He _didn't_ know.

"What's that mean?" he asked, figuring he'd better find out since this was something he should be doing.

"Don't worry, I'll show you in a minute," Reno told him, and heaved himself off of the bed to get rid of his pajama pants.


	5. A Little Prayer!

Kadaj felt his eyes go wide again, looking at Reno's groin. Without the concealment of clothing it was rather daunting, framed becomingly by Reno's white belly. He shied away when Reno stretched out next to him again, but the man simply flopped onto his back and lit a cigarette. When Kadaj realized he wasn't going to be coaxed into anything scary, he hesitantly rolled back over and laid a cautious hand on Reno's arm.

Reno didn't pay him any mind, he simply lifted his arm to lie along the top of the pillow and continued to smoke, ignoring Kadaj when he slipped into the hollow of his side and snuggled against him.

Seeing that Reno was otherwise occupied, he gave in to his natural curiosity and stroked his hand over Reno's belly and sides like the man had done to him, a little awed when that hard, jutting flesh twitched at his touches. Kadaj couldn't keep his eyes off it, utterly captivated by something so similar to and yet so very different from his own. It lay against Reno's flat stomach with just a soft curve to it, a heavy vein roping down its length, bluish beneath the paleness of his taut white skin. It was a delicate blush pink at the tip where pearly little droplets of liquid collected to pool against his stomach. The size of it made Kadaj vaguely jealous—_his_ didn't reach up past his belly button! It seemed improbable, considering Reno's slender build, but there was no denying the stark truth before his eyes.

A little nervous again, Kadaj looked away, rather soothed by the way Reno was ignoring him and allowing him to get his bearings.

"Freaking out?" the man finally asked, an amused grin on his face when Kadaj looked, looked away, looked again, and made a soft little sound of distress. "Take a deep breath, yo, you'll be alright."

Kadaj did as he was told and found that the deep breath _did_ help a little. Sighing, he decided that this worshipping thing was altogether nerve-wracking and he'd probably never attempt it again. Still, when he tried kissing Reno's belly the way he'd been kissed, the man's subsequent sigh so warmed him that he figured it wouldn't hurt to get in good with god.

He kissed his way around the hard flesh lying on Reno's stomach, and started a little when his sharp nip made it spasm, jerking upwards responsively before slapping back down in that puddle it had made.

"Relax, you didn't do anything wrong," Reno said, rubbing the back of his head, able to read the barely concealed panic on Kadaj's face. When he pushed Kadaj towards it, the boy hesitantly followed his cues, only resisting when it became apparent what Reno wanted.

"I am _not_—," he announced, sitting up in a huff. "—_not_—putting that in my _mouth_!"

Reno smirked at him and shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"Suit yourself, yo," he told him, stubbing out his smoke. But then he added the deciding factor of, "Yazoo will take care of it when he comes home."

Kadaj made his little "tsk" sound of absolute frustration, seething.

"It's _dirty_," he tried to reason.

Reno shrugged again and said, "I just got out of the shower, brat. Go on, put your clothes on and skedaddle."

Kadaj would _not_ be evicted from the Forbidden Room under such conditions, and jealously refused to let Yazoo beat him at something as simple as putting _that_ in his mouth.

"Okay, I'll do it!" he said, urgent to convince Reno that he still wanted to go through with all this worshipping nonsense. "But you'll have to tell me what to do!"

"I planned on it," Reno assured him.

Kadaj took a deep breath and ducked his head, his hesitant tongue running over the swollen tip. It tasted salty and somehow like Reno, not all gross like he'd been afraid of. Gaining confidence with this discovery, he laved Reno's head with his tongue, only to pull back abruptly when he accidentally lapped up some of that puddling fluid.

"Ew! Yuck!" he wailed, swallowing convulsively while Reno laughed at him. God or not, that earned him a death-glare as Kadaj sputtered and tried to get that taste out of his mouth. "Oh, that tastes _awful_!"

"Yeah?" Reno sniggered, tears of amusement in his blue eyes. "I wouldn't know. Sucking cock is for bitches, yo. Get back to work."

Kadaj gave him a reproachful, snooty glare, but—after heaving a _very_ put-upon sigh—he returned to the task at hand, lifting it out of that nasty grossness to wrap his lips around it.

Reno told him what to do and kept him from trying too hard. When Kadaj tried to suck him down the man waited until his gagging spasms stopped before warning him to "just keep up with the head, yo—Yazoo will teach you blowjobs, baby."

It made him shiver, hearing Reno's low, soft moans of encouragement and feeling that thick flesh pulse hard in his hot little hand and throb against his tongue. He found that little spot on the underside—just beneath his head—all on his own and played it mercilessly with his probing tongue until Reno told him to stop it _now_ or he'd get more yucky-gross in his mouth—so much he'd _definitely_ end up swallowing some. That was warning enough to make him switch tactics, though the little bit it oozed into his mouth during his sucking somehow managed to not bother him or taste awful.

He started getting warm again, and realized with a start that his own body had gotten hard once more. He was acutely aware of it brushing against Reno's slightly bent knee every time he moved and the contact made him shudder, thinking of that amazing pleasure and how great it had felt.

Reno seemed to come to some sort of conclusion then, or maybe he just got bored of Kadaj kissing him _there_, but he reached over and grabbed a vial of oily something off of the nightstand and told Kadaj to sit up and hold out his hand.

Kadaj did so, and Reno poured no small amount of slippery-slick into his palm.

"Now do like I showed you before, Princess," he instructed.

"Why?" Kadaj asked, even as his slick hand started pulling on Reno's hard flesh, making it so slippery it escaped his grasp a few times.

"It makes it easy to get it where it needs to go," Reno told him.

"Where's it going to go?" Kadaj asked, as curious as ever.

But Reno's next statement made him freeze, aghast.

"Inside _you_."

He took a more objective look at what he held in both oily hands and said with a note of finality, "Reno, there isn't _anywhere_ in me that this will fit. That's just silly!"

"Grab my fingers," Reno said, and Kadaj gripped his first two fingers with his own slick ones, laughing a little at the game when they slipped out of his fist. Reno hefted him up, pulling Kadaj to straddle his hips on his knees so that his body was lifted up off of him. "It goes here."

Kadaj blushed to the roots of his hair when one of Reno's oily fingers slid neatly up inside him.

Outraged, he squealed, "You don't put things _in_ there, Reno!"

But Reno added a second finger to the first and dipped them in such a way that Kadaj suddenly felt the odd urge to run to the bathroom and pee. It was followed immediately by a sudden spike of pleasure that made his body spasm once, his balls drawing up in a hard clutch of reaction, tightening. His mouth hung open, protests forgotten, and he could only manage, "Oh…"

When Reno shifted beneath him he suddenly put two and two together and loudly protested, "That will _not_ fit! It _won't_!"

"Sh! Relax, relax," Reno said, soothing him as he worked himself up into a bout of hysteria. "I do it to your brother and he's alright, isn't he?"

Uncertain, Kadaj could only nod.

"And doesn't he always seem glad when he comes out of here?"

Sounding a little dubious, Kadaj weakly answered, "He really likes to worship…"

"And when have I ever hurt you, Princess?"

"Never," Kadaj promptly replied, and shivered because he knew he would do it.

He would let Reno put things where they really _couldn't_ go, and he'd get this worshipping stuff _done_. It was far too emotionally exhausting—he wasn't sure how Yazoo did it as often as he did.

"There's my baby," Reno said, satisfied by his responses. "You're new to this, yo—I understand. You gotta start somewhere, kid, may as well do it with someone who knows what the fuck is going on."

Reno twisted slightly and Kadaj found himself rolled onto his back. He had only a brief second to again enjoy the soft down comforter before Reno's strong hands gripped him and flipped his body.

"Give me a little prayer, baby," Reno ordered, and moved Kadaj onto his knees.


	6. The Most Amazing Thing EVER!

"Please be careful!" was all Kadaj could come up with, but as a prayer it was sort of at the top of his list.

"For the last time, Princess, _relax_," Reno said, and crowded close to him, pushing Kadaj down on his elbows so that his bottom stuck up in the air. The man mounded one of the pillows under Kadaj's head and rubbed his back with a slow, reassuring stroke before he nudged the boy's knees further apart. "Daddy knows what he's doing—you're in good hands."

"Okay," Kadaj said, and tried not to be too worried. He wriggled the pillow under his chest and hugged it, burying his face in it when one of Reno's hands gripped his hip, gentle and firm.

"Breathe deep and don't tense up on me," Reno instructed, and Kadaj whimpered to feel the slickness of him pressing against him.

It didn't take much pressure—both of them were slippery-slick, and Kadaj concentrated on breathing deeply when he felt the uncomfortable stretch of his body trying to accommodate Reno's. Just when he was sure there was no way it would work, Reno tilted his hips just a fraction and managed to push past the tight ring of muscle with a low, purring groan.

Kadaj yelped and bit his lip, more anxious than hurt, though it was anything but comfortable.

"Good boy," Reno breathed, and the hand that had guided him in moved to grip Kadaj's other hipbone, holding him still as the man slowly rocked himself deeper. "Deep breaths, baby, got it?"

Kadaj whimpered a response and tried very hard to do as he was told.

Reno slid a little deeper and arched his hips up, changing his angle just slightly.

This time the boy's deep breath was unconscious—it came out in a huge exhale of surprise when Reno's gentle nudge pressed him softly in the same place his slick fingers had.

"Oh my god!" Kadaj gasped, tensing automatically. It was an instinctual reaction, simply what bodies did when confronted with pleasure—tighten towards climax.

"Easy, easy," Reno cautioned, his slow thrusts short and shallow to keep rubbing that spot. "Don't tense, brat. Remember?"

Kadaj could hardly hear him over the blood pounding in his ears. He moaned into the pillow, shaking as Reno worked him, waves of sensation washing out from inside him. It built and built and the boy started to writhe a little, needing release, his hips rocking in rhythm with Reno's thrusts.

"_Fuck_! Don't _tense_, Kadaj," Reno cursed. "I'm not even all the way inside you yet, brat—you're gonna be in big trouble if you cum before I'm ready."

Kadaj went boneless beneath him, taking the warning seriously. After all, he didn't want to be on god's bad side!

"Good, baby, good," Reno breathed, and Kadaj felt him shove deeper, felt him settle fully inside him so that he felt rather faint thinking of all that hard heat being buried in his gut. But as faint as it made him feel, it also made him wriggle on Reno's body, aching for more.

Reno held him tight with one hand and slid the other down Kadaj's slender arm as he hit a gentle, gliding rhythm that sank him ball-deep each time, the hard tip of him rubbing the boy's sweet spot over and over.

"Okay, baby," he said, and managed to wrangle one of Kadaj's arms out from beneath him. "I want you to jerk off while I fuck you. Open your hand."

Kadaj barely paid him any attention, all of his focus was on the amazing eruptions of pleasure happening inside him. He didn't resist when Reno moved his hand to his own strutted erection and made him grip it tight, his own larger hand guiding Kadaj's to stroke.

"Now do it like I showed you, only to yourself, yo," Reno said, a little breathless. Both hands returned to Kadaj's hips and he started thrusting harder, dragging Kadaj's body back to meet his with a resounding slap of wet flesh. "Jerk off for me, baby—cum hard for daddy."

Kadaj stroked himself, sobbing and whimpering, transported with pleasure. He started gasping and wailing loudly, "_Oh my god_!" without even being aware of it, only able to feel to the core of himself that _this_ was truly the most amazing thing of his life and that if it wasn't worship it was close enough to kiss. His body bucked out of control, his hips flexing as Reno rode him harder and harder, the man's deep, ragged groans and colorful curses only fueling his lust.

"That's right, baby! Aw _fuck_, that's _hot_," Reno panted, matching Kadaj's urgency. "Let it all go, Princess, daddy's got you."

Kadaj strained back against him _hard_, his body twisting as he came so hard tears spilled from his eyes. He felt it wash over his rapidly pumping hand, his nerve-endings ablaze with sensation and his voice lifted in loud rapture, "_OH MY GOD_!"

The reflexive tightening of his body squeezed Reno and the man loudly groaned, "Yeah, baby, make daddy cum! Oh, _fuck_, here it comes—"

His hips shoved hard against Kadaj's straining, lifted backside and a sudden gush of wet heat flooded him, the sensation so out of place and amazing that Kadaj wailed his supplication to the pillow yet again, "_Oh my god_!"

Reno's deep, throaty groans mingled with Kadaj's soft, shocked whimpers as they both shuddered, slowly coming down from their respective orgasms. Kadaj shivered, glad for the support of the pillow beneath him, his body lethargic now in the afterglow.

"Oh, you sweet baby," Reno sighed, and rubbed Kadaj's back, occasional, spastic shivers still wracking his slender frame, the heavy heat of him still twitching inside Kadaj. "You okay, yo? Did I hurt you?"

"…I don't think so…" In all honesty, he wasn't really sure. Now that Reno had stopped moving and the delicious tingles had worn away, Kadaj felt _far_ too full and in dire need of a bathroom—though he'd rather swallow a gallon of yucky-gross before saying anything to Reno about it.

"Whatever you do, don't push with me," Reno warned.

"What?" Kadaj asked, confused, but understood at once when Reno pulled swiftly out of him in a gush of liquid, making the boy yelp with embarrassed shock. But the relief of being empty alleviated his urgent need to find a toilet, and he relaxed a little.

Reno propped himself up against the headboard and lit yet another cigarette, his lean body curved a little and his knees slightly bent. He regarded Kadaj—who stayed exactly as Reno left him, with his knees beneath him and his bottom in the air—with thoughtful, assessing eyes while he smoked.

Finally, he spoke, saying, "Just so you know, I went easy on you—I don't like getting off so fast but you needed to go quick and get it over with, yo. Don't expect it to be so fast again, got it?"

Kadaj nodded, both thrilled and terrified to know that Reno planned on allowing him to worship again.

"Another thing—don't fuck with your brother," Reno said, and his blue eyes narrowed. "I know how you are, Princess, and I know the first thing you're gonna do is rub his nose in it. I'm warning you now, yo—don't do it. He wouldn't dream of hurting you, so show him the same courtesy."

Kadaj blushed, ashamed to be so petty and ashamed that Reno knew it…but how was he supposed to hide his nature from _god_?

Reno finished his cigarette, got up off of the bed, and easily hefted Kadaj in his arms.

The boy was so grateful to be taken to the bathroom that he forgot his embarrassment. Reno's bathroom was ridiculous in its grandeur—compliments of his apartment having been Rufus Shinra's party-pad—so Kadaj got his privacy while he needed it. When he crept out of the small room where the toilet was, his face flaming, he immediately felt intrusive seeing Reno washing his hands at the sink and thought he'd walked in when he wasn't supposed to.

"You're okay, yo," Reno said, catching Kadaj's hesitation in the mirror. "Start the shower, I just wanted to clean up a little."

"Okay," Kadaj said, face still red. He scrambled to start the shower, turning on all six of the showerheads and forgetting his discomfit under the delight of playing in the water. Reno joined him and diligently scrubbed his pale skin before just as diligently scrubbing Kadaj's, despite the boy's loud protests and haughty complaints.

"You gotta stay clean, Princess," Reno told him. "It's real important, especially when you're sharing with more than one person. Always wash up, understand, yo?"

"_Okay_! I'm clean anyway, Reno, I shower fifty times a day!" Kadaj whined, retreating to the other end of the shower. "I can do this myself!"

Reno grinned at him and tossed him a soapy sponge, but felt the need to ask, "You know about rim-jobs?"

"I know about tire rims," Kadaj said, a hopeful look on his face as he scrubbed.

"Uh…not so much," Reno said. "Anybody ever asks you for a rim-job, Princess, you make them shower, got it? And you hop in with them for good measure and make sure they wash _everywhere_."

Kadaj giggled a little and said, "You're really weird about being clean."

"You can get sick, baby," Reno told him, ducking his head under the spray. "You can get _real_ sick—so you gotta be careful, yo. I make sure I don't make you or your brother sick, you watch out for yourself, we'll all be okay."

They finished up and dried off, Kadaj yawning as he did so. It was early afternoon yet, but he was so _tired_!

"Will I get my bike tomorrow?" he inquired, making a face at the stained comforter, but Reno just yanked it off of the bed and peeled the covers down to let Kadaj crawl under them.

"How the fuck should I know?" he asked, shoving Kadaj over to get in next to him.

"Well…_you_ know," Kadaj said, blushing. He shouldn't have to be _reminding_ Reno that he was _god_. How absent-minded _was_ he?

"Oh yeah," Reno laughed, the sound low and raspy. "_God_, right? Nah, not tomorrow, but maybe by the weekend."

Smiling happily, Kadaj curled up in the warm curve of Reno's body and promptly fell asleep.


	7. Smelling Like A Rose

A/N: I tried to make Reno more like I remember him (Friggin' long time ago) from the game: shady, lazy, and just a little scary but still strangely attractive. I hope it works! Enjoy!

* * *

Kadaj woke to the most dreaded sound he could fathom. It was a sound that inspired terror and misery in his carefree little heart.

_It was the unspeakable snick of scissors_!

He didn't have time to react—Reno's warm, strong hand was suddenly cupping his head and his low voice said with no little amusement, "Don't you fucking dare, baby."

Kadaj opened his eyes to see Yazoo standing next to the bed, his pale face tight with something the boy couldn't read, his big jade eyes sparkling.

Yazoo dropped the scissors and dashed for the bathroom.

"Fuck," Reno sighed, and tossed off the covers to get out of the bed. He pulled on his discarded pajama pants and went to the door, snarling when he found it locked. He started to pound on it, shouting, "_Yazoo! Open this goddamned door, _now!"

Upset by his near miss, Reno's shouting, and Yazoo's obvious distress, Kadaj tucked his bare knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them tightly, and started to cry.

"You will _not_ lock me out of any room in my own fucking _house_!" Reno shouted, and stalked around to the bathroom entrance off of the glassed-in balcony where the hot tub was. Kadaj flinched when there was more banging and swearing, his sobs redoubling when Reno snarled, "_I will break this fucking door down_!"

As soon as the crashing thuds started, the bedroom door to the bathroom was swiftly opened and Yazoo came out, eyes wild. He ran to the dresser and started to rifle through drawers, almost frantic, while Reno clearly did as he'd promised and beat the bathroom door in from the opposite end of the bathroom.

"Yazoo," Kadaj whimpered, shaking and crying. He felt _awful_. What he'd seen in Yazoo's jade eyes was betrayed trust, and the full import of what he'd done hadn't hit home until he'd seen himself reflected in Yazoo's hurt, disappointed eyes. Kadaj felt ashamed of himself, a selfish, cruel child who'd taken the _one_ thing Yazoo had kept for his own. "Yazoo…"

His brother ignored him, throwing up his hands in frustration and moving to toss open the doors of the armoire, still looking with that edge of panic for something that eluded him.

"Yazoo!" Kadaj reached out when he neared but drew back with a heartbroken sob when his brother gently pushed his hand away, whispering, "Don't, Kadaj. Save your touches for my lover."

His resulting hysterical wails covered Reno's return. The man slammed the bedroom door and leaned against it, watching Yazoo freeze like a deer in headlights, his tense back to Reno.

"What are you doing, yo?" he asked of Yazoo, and then, "Kadaj—knock that shit off!"

Kadaj dissolved into unhappy but silent tears, hugging himself for comfort.

"I'm looking for my pass," Yazoo said, his voice neutral but his slender body vibrating anxiety as he returned to his search.

"What for?" Reno asked, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So I can get into Wutai," Yazoo told him.

Reno glared at him, his voice hard when he asked, "You're just gonna leave, yo?"

Yazoo didn't look at Reno, he looked at Kadaj. His big jade eyes filled with tears and he turned away, burying his face in his hands and shaking with soft, almost inaudible sobs.

It made Kadaj cry harder, and Reno rolled his eyes, growling, "Great, _two_ sensitive women in the house. Fucking _fantastic_."

He went to Yazoo and embraced him from behind, murmuring softly to him, his rage at the locked door forgotten as he crooned to his distraught lover.

Kadaj didn't hear what he said, he was too busy hiccoughing and hitching with sobs, his belly tight with stress and his slender shoulders shaking. All he really registered was the low, purring croon of Reno's voice and Yazoo's miserable weeping.

"But why _Kadaj_?" Yazoo wailed, breaking his silence at last. "Reno, you _knew_ how I felt about it! You _know_ how he's always gotten everything, _anything_ he wanted—even when it meant taking it from Loz or me! How _could_ you?"

Reno had gone back to the bed, sitting on the edge of it away from Kadaj. At Yazoo's distressed complaint, he pulled the man's slim body to straddle his lap, cupping the back of Yazoo's head when he dropped it to Reno's shoulder and cried some more.

"Sh, it's alright, baby, you know I love you," he soothed, rubbing Yazoo's back. "Nobody else matters like you, baby—this is no different than any other time I've messed around."

"It _is_ different!" Yazoo cried. "You let him win! The _one_ thing I had that he didn't…"

"Hey, now, you still got me, yo," Reno assured him. "Kadaj didn't win anything, Yazoo—you're my baby, you'll _always_ be my baby. Little Helium Head over there will grow up and move on but you and I will _always_ be together."

This didn't soothe Yazoo quite as much as he seemed to think it should. The slim, pale, beautiful man kept sobbing, yet he clung to Reno's shoulders with strong little hands as if desperate to keep him.

"You knew what you got when you got me, baby," Reno sighed. "I never tried to hide what I am and I don't change for anybody, yo—you love me because of who I am and I return the favor. I'm a tramp, you're a psycho's remnant—we make it work, right?"

Yazoo nodded a little, snuffling. In a small, weak voice he asked, "Why _Kadaj_?"

"'Cause he needs it," Reno told him, and that had to suffice as an explanation because he offered no other. He kissed Yazoo again, deep and sweet, and snuggled him for awhile before easing the slim man off of his lap. He leaned over and snagged Kadaj's arm, hauling him close.

Kadaj had about cried himself out, but his tears started again when Reno pulled him close to Yazoo and his brother looked away as if the sight of him made him ill.

"Yazoo," he whimpered, and ducked his head against Reno's chest, sick at heart over what he'd done. He hadn't given a single thought to Yazoo or what his brother might feel while he was worshipping Reno, and now he felt even worse to realize it.

"Baby, look at him," Reno said, coaxingly. "C'mon, he's just a little guy, don't be mad at him—it ain't like he knew better, yo."

"I really don't think it matters," Yazoo told him, his voice soft.

"You're breaking his heart, yo, just _look_ at him!"

Reno lifted Kadaj's head and mouthed, '_Big Eyes_.'

Kadaj snuffled and hitched with sobs, summoning the biggest Big Eyes he could manage.

Yazoo glanced at him, then looked and seemed to soften. Cocking his head, he reached out and touched Kadaj's cheek, sighing, "You always win, don't you? How long before he makes me go, Kadaj? How long before you _make_ him push me away?"

"I wouldn't do that," Kadaj said, his voice wavering, his fingers clutching Reno's forearms, his lower lip trembling.

"He _can't_ do that," Reno said, slipping his arm around Yazoo's waist so that they were sitting side by side, Kadaj in Reno's lap and partially in Yazoo's. "Nobody makes me do anything, yo—and that includes a fucking brat with a vanity problem."

"And if I don't like it, I can just get out, right?" Yazoo asked, his smile humorless and harsh. He turned his head away again, his long hair sweeping over his shoulder.

"Well, you _could_ just get out," Reno told him, sounding skeptical, and added with a grin, "But I'd just come after you, yo—you and me, baby, till the end."

"It always comes down to _me_ sharing _you_," Yazoo said, struggling to express himself. His curt tone made Kadaj shrink against Reno, already so emotionally worn out that he wanted to sleep six days solid.

"Yeah, I know," Reno said, absently rubbing Kadaj's back, but he didn't sound too concerned about it.

"But you refuse to share _me_," Yazoo added, and pinned him with his angry jade eyes.

"That's the way of it, yup," Reno agreed, nodding. "That's life, baby—don't like it, you can kiss it, but you gotta know that none of them mean shit to me. You're my baby, you're special. That's why you live here with me, right?"

Yazoo nodded a little, still not convinced that everything would be alright.

"C'mere," Reno sighed, put out about the whole drama and glancing around for his smokes. He pulled his arm tighter around Yazoo's waist and dumped Kadaj across both of their laps. "Make up, I don't like resentment, yo."

Kadaj couldn't quite shut off the Big Eyes. He tried not to let his weight come down on Yazoo's slender thighs, tried to touch his brother as little as possible since Yazoo was still so upset with him. But Reno gave him a not-so-gentle shove and smacked his forehead into Yazoo's chest, both of them wincing.

"_Now_," he ordered, and if there was anything that they knew from living with Reno, it was that he always expected them to do what he told them. _Pronto_.

"I'm sorry, Yazoo," Kadaj whispered, and gingerly looped his arms around Yazoo's neck.

His brother looked away, murmuring, "You're never _sorry_, Kadaj, so long as you get what you want…" But he settled his hands on Kadaj's bare hips, token acquiescence to Reno's impatient demand.

"Hey, he got what _I_ wanted," Reno corrected, and stood up. "Both of you are staying, work it out."

Yazoo watched him dress, his big jade eyes puzzled and hurt.

"Are you going away?" Kadaj asked, worried. _All _of it worried him, from the shouting to the crying. He didn't know why Yazoo didn't ask what he so obviously wanted to, but he understood a little better when Reno frowned at him and said, "None of your business."

Kadaj blinked back more tears, bewildered by his abrupt shift from tender to indifferent…but then, for as gentle as he'd been when showing Kadaj how to worship, Reno hadn't exactly been caught up in it. He was absently loving and enjoyable company, but Kadaj wondered if he really knew Reno at all, or just knew the surface the man offered.

Softening, Reno shook his head a little and said, "I'm just going for some smokes, Princess. I suggest you two fucking fix yourselves while I'm gone."

The bedroom door slammed again, and a few moments later they heard the apartment door close.

Feeling awkward and vulnerable sitting nude in Yazoo's lap, Kadaj lowered his head to stare at the base of Yazoo's throat, his small hands resting lightly on his brother's strong but delicate shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he murmured again, ashamed of himself.

"Stop saying that, you _aren't_," Yazoo told him.

"I _am_!" Kadaj cried, lifting his head. "I didn't know what he'd do to me, Yazoo! I thought you were hiding something from me to be mean! I didn't understand that…that…well, it's something you do with love, isn't it? Worshipping?"

"_Worshipping_?" Yazoo echoed, confused. "Is _that_ what he told you it was?"

"No," Kadaj said, the venom in Yazoo's voice making him hesitant. "I just thought since you always screamed…you know, maybe Reno is…well, _I_ call it worshipping!"

Yazoo still refused to look at him.

"When you said he'd start ignoring you, you meant he'd stop loving you, right?" Kadaj asked, Yazoo's flinch answer enough. "I didn't know that, Yazoo—I didn't know it had anything to do with love…"

"Only when it suits him," Yazoo said, and his rapidly blinking lids held back a sheen of tears.

Kadaj wanted to comfort him, but he didn't know how, and the terrible thing was that _he_ had done this to Yazoo.

"And now he has _you_," Yazoo said, finally looking at him. "And if he has you here living with him, then he won't need me anymore, will he? And I'll be all alone again…and you, you'll _win_ again and be happy as always…"

The shimmering sheen in his jade eyes spilled over and he ducked his head, his tears rousing Kadaj to cry, too. He hugged Yazoo tight, fingers tangling in the man's long, silvery hair, holding him while he wept.

"You won't ever be alone, Yazoo!" he sobbed, his strong little arms squeezing. "I don't want to win this time! I don't want to take anything from you!"

"Oh, Kadaj," Yazoo sighed, standing up and easing the boy out of his arms. "You already _have_."

He turned and settled Kadaj back down on the bed before glancing around the room with a peculiar kind of sadness on his face.

"Yazoo," Kadaj said, apprehensive. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Yazoo said, and turned away from Kadaj to check in the desk drawer. "Here it is, right where I left it. I forgot, it's been so long since we came here."

"Please don't go!" Kadaj said, scared for his brother and scared for himself.

"Don't worry, he won't blame _you_," Yazoo sighed, guessing that Kadaj's worry was purely for his own pretty white hide and not at all for the brother whose life he'd wrecked. He tucked the pass into his pocket and gathered his hair into a knot at the base of his neck. "You'll come out smelling like a rose, Kadaj—you always do."

"I don't want to smell like roses!" Kadaj wailed, as upset by that idea as he was by the idea of Yazoo leaving…of him driving his own brother away from someone he loved so dearly.

"Goodbye, Kadaj…" Yazoo said, so sad but so determined. There was no malice in him when he added, "Be good to him, do as he says—he'll like you better that way."

He turned and strode gracefully out of the bedroom.

Clad only in the hastily wrapped sheet, Kadaj chased after him, but his brother was already gone.

He sat down in the open doorway and howled, "Yazoo!"


	8. Trouble and Chocolate Frosting

Kadaj was extremely nervous and beginning to consider Cloud's insistence that he come live at Seventh Heaven with a little less hostility.

Because Reno was angry and Kadaj had never seen that before.

Frankly, it was scary as hell.

"I swear I didn't tease him!" he insisted, his balled fists hugged to his chest. He'd scurried to dress once Yazoo had gone and had only just finished when Reno came back.

"I know you didn't tease him," Reno said, scowling. He'd taken one look at Kadaj's agitated face, demanded to know why he was "jittering around like a crack addict jonesing for a fix" and had calmly, furiously smoked a cigarette while Kadaj stammered out everything Yazoo had said.

He didn't see it as snitching so much as a life-preserving necessity. Whatever Yazoo may think, Kadaj wasn't so sure Reno would mind strangling him right now, especially since Yazoo had gone because of him.

The man finished his cigarette, grabbed his keys, and left again without a word to Kadaj.

Alone once more and still upset, Kadaj dragged his soft blanket off of his bed, curled up on the couch, and tried to watch videos. His choices were limited—Reno had a lot of porn that Kadaj had never had any interest in or been allowed to watch, and other than that it was mostly horror movies, which the boy didn't much care for.

He eventually fell asleep, only to be awakened hours later by the slamming door.

Sitting up, he saw Reno striding angrily towards him, Yazoo in tow. His brother looked beautiful and still so sad, yet not in the least bit surprised.

"Yazoo!" he squealed, jumping up in delight. "_You're home_!"

Reno didn't check his stride, as he neared he pointed at Kadaj and snapped, "_Sit_!"

Too startled to whine about it or do anything other than obey, Kadaj immediately dropped back down on his sore bottom as if his legs had given out, eyes huge.

"_Stay_!" Reno added, and veered off for the bedroom, Yazoo trailing him with calm indifference, his slender wrist firmly encased in Reno's tight grip.

Awed, Kadaj exhaled the breath he'd been holding and whispered to himself, "_Wow_…Yazoo is in _trouble_!"

Though he strained to hear anything—even Yazoo's usual worship refrain would be welcome—nothing escaped the room, and the boy quickly grew bored of it. He wondered if Yazoo would make dinner now that he was home where he belonged. He was hungry.

After over an hour, his gurgling and demanding stomach drove him into the kitchen but there was nothing in the refrigerator that he could heat in the microwave. Stymied, he went digging through the cabinets, leaving a huge mess in his wake, but eventually came up with a plastic tub of chocolate frosting and some graham crackers that looked to be as old as he was—and in graham cracker years that was _old_.

Hunkering down amidst the crumpled foil bags of potato chip crumbs, canned goods, boxes of macaroni and cheese, and a few half-empty packages of pasta on the floor, Kadaj fished a spoon out of the drawer above his head and opened the tub.

It took him a little bit to figure out the foil seal on it, but hunger flavored his determination and he finally just popped it with a sharp, irritated stab of the spoon and peeled it away. Smearing frosting onto the brittle, dry crackers, he poked a square into his mouth and chewed in bliss. As he greedily ate more, he was so transported by sugary-sweetness that he didn't even register someone coming until the mess he made leapt to mind.

Kadaj's eyes widened when he realized how badly he'd wrecked the kitchen in his search for food. Being tidy wasn't one of his strong suits, and his tendency to lack an attention span only contributed to that—he could be focused and intense when he needed to be, but nothing in his life at Reno's had required his full attention or even his cooperation, so he'd just stopped bothering altogether.

Reno came around the corner, took one look at Kadaj crouched against the wall surrounded by kitchen litter, and abruptly suppressed a smile, his irritation at not finding the boy where he'd left him vanishing into thin air.

Kadaj didn't know he had chocolate smeared all over his face and hands or that his huge, scared eyes were sparkling in the strong fluorescent light. He also didn't know that he looked about twelve years old sitting the way he was, and his guilty, suddenly _shifty_ expression only reinforced that image—Kadaj was already figuring out how to blame someone else, like any little kid would. Pointing his chocolate-smeared finger at Reno, he said around a mouthful of crumbly, sweet-covered crackers, "_I tried to tell you there was no food_! I didn't _mean_ to make a mess, honest—"

"I thought I told you to stay put," Reno said, hiding his smile and giving Kadaj a severe frown, arms crossing over his chest.

"I got hungry," Kadaj weakly protested. Cocking his head, he offered the icing-smeared plastic tub to Reno, who declined with a slight wrinkle of his dainty nose.

"No thanks, you and Yazoo are the chocolaholics in the house—I'll stick to booze," he told him.

"Suit yourself," Kadaj shrugged, and slathered another cracker with chocolate, forgetting about the mess again.

"Maybe we should just order delivery if he doesn't want to go out. It's been a rather long day," Yazoo said, continuing a discussion that they'd apparently been having. He passed Reno and looked into the kitchen, wailing with dismay, horrified by the state of the place. "Oh _no_! Oh, _Kadaj_, _shame_ on you! Oh, you clean this mess up right this minute!"

"Want some?" Kadaj asked, unphased by Yazoo's horror, grinning at his brother and holding up a cracker mounded with creamy icing. "It's chocolate."

From the immediate glazed look in his eyes it was apparent that Yazoo forgot he was barefoot in a potentially traumatic, messy situation. He forgot that he was wearing only his light robe. He forgot that they were about to order in instead of going out for dinner—Kadaj offered him _chocolate_, and Yazoo simply couldn't resist.

He tip-toed his way over spilled pasta shells and crinkly chip bags to Kadaj, took the cracker with the delicate tips of his slender, graceful fingers, and sighed in contentment at the first bite, sinking to the floor at an angle to his brother, both of them content to curl up and eat as much chocolaty goodness as humanly possible.

"Well, it's nice to see you two made up," Reno commented, but he sounded pleased, and he laughed to see them both so blissfully entranced by something as simple as chocolate fudge icing and old graham crackers—even if the plastic tub looked like it had been gnawed open by a toothless dog. "Guess this means we're ordering in?"

Identical jade green eyes looked at him, hazy and content, but neither the boy nor the slightly older young man made a reply.

"Well, fuck it," Reno sighed, and picked his way over the mess to sit with them. "Let's have one of those, brat."

Kadaj smeared a dollop of icing on a cracker and handed it to Reno, who popped it in his mouth with a smile.


	9. Sibling Rivalry

"Reno, I don't feel so good," Kadaj complained, holding his stomach.

"I don't imagine you do, Bubble Brain," Reno said, smirking, but he didn't turn his attention from his box of Wutain take-out or the woman screaming bloody murder on the video screen. "You and Yazoo ate that whole fucking tub of icing—you needed _real_ food."

"That is _not_ real food!" Kadaj told him, cranky, and pointed at the cartons for good measure before moaning, making it as pitiful and woebegone as possible.

"Go to the bathroom if you're gonna puke, yo," Reno told him, never one to be generous with sympathy where Kadaj was concerned. Now _Yazoo_, _he_ was another matter altogether...

"Yazoo is in there," Kadaj moaned, reminding Reno that his brother had only just complained of nausea before bolting for the bathroom.

"Yeah, well, misery loves company," Reno said, and sniggered a little when Kadaj glared at him.

"I'm really _sick_!" Kadaj spat, irritated, and threw a plush, decorative pillow at Reno's head.

"You're working towards a hard-core spanking, brat! Don't make me reach back on you," Reno warned him. "Now let me eat, _I_ didn't fill up on stale crackers and icing, yo."

Kadaj subsided, pouting. He was glad that Reno wasn't angry anymore, it had been rather fearsome and Kadaj was pretty sure he'd never want to see that ever again, _ever_. Reno was back to being normal—ornery, playful, and teasing. Yazoo even seemed happier…well, until he'd shot off to go throw up. Whatever Reno had done to him or said to him in their bedroom (while Kadaj was pouting on the couch and wreaking holy hell in the kitchen) had calmed him significantly.

"What did you say to Yazoo?" he asked, trying not to let his roiling stomach bother him.

"None of your business," Reno told him, licking his lips after his last bite of something that smelled heavenly to Kadaj and made him wish he could eat.

"_Please_?" he begged, knowing it worked…usually. He'd picked it up from watching whiney kids at the market and, after trying it out on Reno and his brothers, he found it to be rather convenient for getting what he wanted. "He was so upset…how did you make him like me again?"

"He's your brother, yo, he loves you to bits," Reno said, absently tossing the carton down on the coffee table and turning up the television volume. "I just set him straight on a few things—nothing you need to worry about."

Yazoo came trailing back into the living room, looking abjectly miserable and filmed in a light sheen of sweat, his silky robe clinging to his pale skin.

"Aw, poor baby," Reno laughed, and held out his arms to lay Yazoo across his lap, smoothing the man's hair away from his face and saying, "Didn't I tell you to lay off that stuff, kitten?"

Yazoo moaned and hid his face against Reno's side, shuddering.

"_I'm_ sick!" Kadaj said, feeling left out. "Where's _my_ 'poor baby'?"

"Aw, poor baby," Reno teased, and held out his arm. "Alright, brat, come here."

Kadaj bounced over to the couch, delighted enough to momentarily forget his upset stomach.

As he snuggled against Reno, wedging himself behind Yazoo's slim hips, the man warned, "If you puke on me, Kadaj, I swear to Me that I will beat you retarded."

"You're poking me, Kadaj," Yazoo complained, shifting away. "Don't be so pushy, I was here first."

"Well, I'm here _now_, make room!" Kadaj countered, scowling at him and shoving him a little.

Yazoo shifted to get up and move away but Reno wouldn't let him. He settled Yazoo firmly and comfortably in his lap and pulled Kadaj to lie against them both.

"Now, no fighting," he ordered, and held them both close while he watched the movie.

Despite Reno's order to the contrary, Kadaj couldn't resist wriggling enough to make Yazoo irritated, and the slim man finally twisted to snap at him, "Kadaj, quit jabbing me! Your knees are boney!"

"I wasn't jabbing you," the boy defended, angry but pleased he'd provoked his brother. "You were _laying_ on my legs, how is that _me_ poking _you_?"

"Quit pestering," Reno said, brows drawn as he tried to follow the pointless horror movie plot over their bickering.

"There isn't enough room up here!" Kadaj pouted, unwilling to lie still while Yazoo was so snugly ensconced on Reno's lap. While he _was_ snuggled against the man's side, and Reno's strong, slender arm _was_ around him, he couldn't resist needling his brother and he wanted to pick a fight.

"Knock it off!" Reno said, attention still on the screen, but he absently whacked Kadaj in the back of the head, not even hard enough to stir his hair, just hard enough to let him know that he meant it.

"Move _over_, Yazoo!" Kadaj whined, shoving at his brother, who scowled at him and tried to escape the sharp angles of the boy's knees and elbows once more. "Why do _you_ get all the room and _I_ get stuck back here?"

Reno glared at him, lifted Yazoo out of his lap, and stood up. With a sigh of pure irritation, he seated Kadaj in the corner of the couch and sat between them, saying, "There, now you got all the room you want, Princess."

Pleased to have gotten his way, smugly smirking when Yazoo glared at him, Kadaj preened in his spacious corner and tried to pay attention to the movie again.

His victory was short-lived. As soon as Reno got settled between them he pulled Yazoo back across his lap and started stroking the man's hair in much the same way as one might stroke a placid, purring cat.

Kadaj glared at them, feeling as if he ought to have some part in it seeing as he'd _worshipped_ and all—wasn't he special, too? Didn't it _mean_ something?

Reno seemed to be aware of his discontent. He glanced over at Kadaj and gave him a soft smile before tugging the boy against him, guiding Kadaj to lie with the crown of his head pressed to Yazoo's so that his stroking hand petted them both.

Kadaj considered starting another fight, but Reno had responded better to his patience, so he just lay boneless in the man's lap and enjoyed the tingly, soothing stroking of those fingers through his hair.

They lay quietly in his lap until the movie ended—by that time it was well into the early morning hours and Kadaj was exhausted. He'd been through a lot that day, from affirming his discovery of Reno being God, to learning how to worship, losing his brother, and getting him back…not to mention a tremendous stomach ache from stuffing himself with sweets.

"Time for bed," Reno announced, clicking off the television and rousing Yazoo, who'd fallen asleep.

Kadaj sat up, rubbing at his eyes and already gearing up for a pout, not wanting to sleep by himself in the room he'd shared with Loz. He'd never slept alone before and had no intentions of starting _now_.

Reno, however, apparently had no intentions of it, either. He looped his arm around Yazoo's slim waist and headed for the bedroom, calling over his shoulder, "Shift it, Princess, I gotta work in a few hours."

Kadaj obediently trailed them, feeling rather out of place when Yazoo shed his robe and crawled into their bed totally nude.

Reno shed his pajama pants and moved smoothly in next to him.

Kadaj stared at them both with big, intimidated eyes, trying to focus on anything other than his brother and Reno snuggled up together in their bed. They'd changed the comforter, the new one was dark blue but looked like the same kind of soft material that had so distracted Kadaj the first time…

"Come on, baby, I'm gonna fall asleep watching you stare at everything," Reno called, laughing as he held out his hand. "No clothes in the bed, it's a rule."

Flushing, Kadaj turned his back to both of them and stripped down, his cheeks a pretty pink and his green eyes bright with nerves. He skittered to the bed and darted in quickly, shivering in the cool air and glad of Reno's warmth.

"There's my babies," Reno sighed, contentedly kissing each of them on their silky heads. "Kill the lights, Yazoo. Let's get some shut eye."

Yazoo leaned over and shut off the small table lamp, plunging them into darkness.

Kadaj, who had _never_ liked darkness, curled tighter against Reno, his head pillowed next to Yazoo's on Reno's chest. The man hugged him tighter, responding to his light shudder, and Yazoo reached over to rub his shoulder, his fingers trailing down Kadaj's arm to wind through his own.

"Goodnight, Yazoo," Kadaj murmured, suddenly shy of his older, melancholy brother and still ashamed of himself.

"Goodnight, Kadaj," Yazoo murmured back, and sighed a little, snuggling close to Reno and falling asleep.

Kadaj closed his eyes, warm and safe from the dark, his fingers wrapped in his brother's and Reno's firm hand gently, absently rubbing his bare back beneath the cozy covers. As he was drifting off, he heard Reno whisper, "Go to sleep, Princess. Everything is gonna be okay."

Kadaj smiled against Reno's soft skin and finally fell asleep.


	10. On Sailing and Omnipotence

"Is it all clean?" Yazoo asked, eyes hidden behind his hands. He'd refused to even go anywhere near the kitchen this morning until Kadaj cleaned it.

"_Yes_!" Kadaj huffed, irritated with his brother for no other reason than Yazoo had demanded he clean up the mess he'd made. Kadaj would've gotten out of it if Reno hadn't stepped in before he'd gone off to work and told him to mind Yazoo while he was gone. He'd never asked for such before, and Kadaj wasn't happy about it, but he could hardly say no to _God_! He had a new bicycle to consider, after all, and just because he'd been launched to the head of the queue didn't mean he could afford to make god angry.

Yazoo uncovered his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing and a happy smile spreading over his beautiful face.

"You're as much of a nut about being clean as _Reno_ is!" Kadaj accused, feeling suddenly miffed because Yazoo still managed to be so pretty, even all tousled from bed and fresh from an upset stomach. Kadaj had awoken with sleepy smudges beneath his eyes and his hair standing on end—Reno had laughed at him and tickled him, telling him he looked a right mess and it was adorable. Still, Kadaj did _not_ appreciate looking like a mess at all, right or _not_, and wished he could roll out of bed looking perfect like Yazoo did.

"Oh, no, Kadaj, no one is stricter about that than Reno," Yazoo somberly told him, big jade eyes wide.

Kadaj threw the mop into the cleaning closet with a snort of derision, ignoring Yazoo's soft protest of his careless action.

"What did he tell you last night?" he asked, turning to face his brother.

Yazoo looked uncomfortable and blushed softly, murmuring, "It really isn't any of your business, Kadaj."

"Tell me!" Kadaj demanded, trying to bully Yazoo. Since their return from the Lifestream Kadaj had not asserted himself over either of his brothers. Without Mother to push and pull at him he really had no need and since he was never denied anything he truly wanted he'd been content to sit back and let everyone else worry with the finer aspects of getting along and making a living. Now, however, he was _dying_ of curiosity and was willing to browbeat his pretty brother to find out what he wanted to know.

Surprisingly, Yazoo's perfectly arched eyebrows drew close in a startling imitation of Reno's frown and he firmly said, "_No_, Kadaj! It's not your business!"

Kadaj blinked, unused to being stymied by his brother's will—both Yazoo and Loz had always folded like a house of cards before Kadaj's sharp tongue or angry glare. Switching tactics, he gave Yazoo the Big Eyes and whined, "_Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease_?!"

"You stop that!" Yazoo scolded, because the Big Eyes combined with whining was usually a sure thing. He started to make breakfast just to distract himself from Kadaj's manipulations. Deciding to distract _Kadaj_ in the process, he added, "Reno thinks you need to go to school, Kadaj."

"_School_?" Kadaj echoed, sidetracked. He got underfoot while Yazoo moved to and from the refrigerator, prompting the man to shoo him more than once while Kadaj busily expounded on why exactly he didn't need to go to school. "But, Yazoo, you _know_ I'm way smarter than any kid my age and since I don't even know how old I _am_ I could be _way_ too old for school and, besides, high school kids are really _mean_ and I'd probably end up getting into fights or hurting someone and I think it's an all-around _bad_ idea so maybe you should just tell Reno that I shouldn't be going at all and instead I can just stay here and clean or something and you don't even have to pay me because it would be like my job and you _know_ you don't like doing laundry because I hear you complaining about it _all the time_ so don't you think it's a good idea for me to just stay home?"

Yazoo had stopped cooking to stare at Kadaj, looking faintly shocked. Finally, he asked, "How do you not pass out when you do that?"

"Do what?" Kadaj asked, and gulped a huge breath of air, ears ringing.

"Talk for five solid minutes without breathing," Yazoo said, and turned back to the omelets he was making. "I won't be _telling_ Reno anything, Kadaj. You can talk to him…well, _babble_ at him about it if you want to, but it really isn't up to either of us. Reno will decide and you'll do as he tells you."

"But—"

Yazoo raised the spatula in warning, shooting Kadaj a sharp look.

"Okay," Kadaj said, wilting a little at the prospect of having to go to school.

Loz came home with Reno later that afternoon, looking quite dapper in his black suit. Kadaj couldn't have been more pleased to see him and bounded into his arms the second he cleared the doorway.

"Did you miss me? How is work? What's it like? Do you like your apartment? Can I come visit?" Kadaj asked, twisting like an excited puppy in Loz's grasp to give his brother another bear hug.

"Uhm, yes, Kadaj," Loz answered, because his answer was always yes where his little brother was concerned and he always lived to please. He patted Kadaj on the head with fond caution, aware of his greater strength and careful of his two fragile, slight brothers.

"Princess, you know better than to ask him too many questions at once," Reno reminded, taking off his jacket and tossing it over the back of the recliner before flopping down in it and hollering, "_Yazoo_! We got any beer?"

"Coming!" Yazoo called back, appearing almost instantly with two frosty mugs and two bottles of Reno's favorite beer. He set them on the end table and stopped to give Loz a hug.

Kadaj wedged between them, bringing the hug to an abrupt end, and gave Loz the Big Eyes, saying, "I'm sorry, Loz, I didn't mean to ask you so many questions!"

"That's okay, Kadaj," Loz said, smiling his big smile and ruffling Kadaj's hair. He leaned over the boy to plant a soft kiss on Yazoo's forehead, ever aware of the power struggle between the two and not wanting to be accused of favoritism.

"Sit down, Loz, have a beer," Reno said, kicking back in his recliner and taking his own advice. He'd already managed to mostly unbutton his shirt and his heavy black boots were unlaced and loose. "Kadaj, let _go_ of him. Fuck, you're like a goiter."

"Well that isn't very nice," Kadaj announced, making a mental note to look up what a goiter was. After a moment he surreptitiously wrote it down, knowing he'd probably forget about it. It certainly _sounded_ awful.

Yazoo opened Loz's beer for him and poured it into the frozen mug, handing it over with his usual soft, beautiful smile.

"I cleaned the kitchen!" Kadaj said, satisfied with himself and wanting to divert attention from his unnecessarily beautiful brother. He scooted to sit on the footstool next to the couch, near Loz's knee, and beamed at Reno, who merely arched a brownish-red eyebrow in his direction and absently pulled Yazoo to sit near him.

"Well, you were the one who made a mess of it," he said, smirking when Kadaj shot him a death-glare and decided to ignore him for awhile.

"I'm so happy you came to visit, Loz!" Kadaj said, turning the full force of his personality on his big baby of a brother while still managing to maintain a steady glare in Reno's direction. For his part, Reno just settled more comfortably back into his recliner and gestured Yazoo closer to ask him something.

"Reno said I should come and see you," Loz said, gulping happily at his beer. "I was thinking of having you come stay with me, Kadaj, because I know you don't like being alone, but there were other things to consider…"

The man trailed off, looking embarrassed, a flush on his high cheekbones.

Kadaj suddenly remembered what Reno had said, something about ships passing in the night. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but from Loz's blush and sudden discomfit, he figured he'd been right—Loz had gone sailing. But, more to the point, he'd gone _without_ Kadaj, who was sure he'd really like sailing if he ever had the chance to go.

"You went sailing and you didn't invite me!" Kadaj accused out of nowhere, reminded of his ire and pouting at Loz.

"Sailing?" The man echoed, confused but wanting to please.

Reno started to laugh, and Yazoo was giggling a little, both of them watching the interaction.

"Reno said you had other ships to pass in the night!" Kadaj told him, his pout deepening.

"Oh, sailing at night is dangerous, Kadaj," Loz said, concern pinching his fine features. "I don't think that's a good idea, someone could get hurt."

Kadaj was suddenly worried that his brother might be speaking from experience, and he was moved to ask, "Were _you_ hurt?"

"…I don't _think_ so…" Loz answered, thoroughly bewildered and not quite sure himself if he'd been sailing or not after all.

"I'm just gonna go in the other room where it's less…ditzy," Reno announced, standing suddenly, beer in hand. Yazoo left for the kitchen with a parting giggle, glancing over his shoulder at his pouting littlest brother and his obviously confused younger brother. "Watching you two talking is like watching two helium balloons trying to mate."

"What?" Kadaj asked, and gave him a serious, doubtful frown. "Reno, that doesn't make any sense at all."

"It doesn't," Loz agreed, nodding, looking from Reno to Kadaj to be sure his little brother was aware of his support. "I don't know how little balloons are made, but I don't think big balloons mate…"

"Ya don't?" Reno asked, and laughed abruptly. "Have fun, you two—don't wind up discovering how snow is made."

"Snow is _made_?" Kadaj breathed, eyes widening as he imagined a huge, cold factory where bundled up little people created snow. But then, it _did_ make a certain amount of sense—where else would the ice-cream man get snow for his ice-cream? He couldn't use snow from outside, that would be just _gross_, so he _must _get it from a factory somewhere…He _really_ loved ice-cream, it was so yummy and delicious, especially when it was hot outside like today. Ice-cream would be _perfect_ today…Licking his lips, the boy sighed, "_Ice-cream_…"

Reno only laughed at his hazy, blissful expression and shook his head, exasperated with his little Bubble Brain. As a parting shot, he suggested, "Why don't you two go outside and play? You know, so you don't suffocate on all the air in here."

"Well, I don't know what _that_ means," Kadaj said, offended because he felt sure that Reno was making fun of him. "But I don't mind going outside. Do you, Loz?"

Loz vigorously shook his head, wanting only to do whatever Kadaj wanted to do. The boy could've suggested a swim in the sewers and Loz would've been right alongside him, eager as can be.

"Hey," Reno said, pausing on his way to go change, his expression serious. "Don't go buying him ice-cream, Loz, I don't care if he does the Big Eyes so large they pop out of his head—he ate himself into a sugar coma last night, he needs to eat dinner. Got it, yo?"

"Oh, okay, Reno, no ice-cream," Loz promised, and Kadaj scowled because now there'd be no getting his brother to buy him ice-cream. For Loz, a request from Reno was tantamount to an order from God…Which only made sense, considering.

"It's too hot to go outside, then," Kadaj complained, flinging himself onto the couch in a huff. "Tell me about work, Loz."

"Alright, Kadaj," Loz said, finishing his beer and just as happy to comply with this request as any other. He talked for some time about his new job, thanking Yazoo briefly when the man quietly returned to refill his empty glass.

Kadaj lolled on the couch, kind of bored but unwilling to hurt Loz's feelings by saying so. When Yazoo called them for dinner he was glad to go, and was the first one at the dining table, though he changed seats three times before he settled on who he wanted to sit next to, and only made his final decision because Reno told him he'd get a swatting if he didn't plant his ass. He'd been swatted by Reno enough times to not invite it, and promptly did as he was told, dropping into the chair next to Yazoo, Loz on the other side and Reno at the head of the table.

As usual, Yazoo had outdone himself, and he preened under Loz's praise and Reno's more subtle compliment of multiple helpings. Kadaj tried to pick a fight with his brother, mildly jealous of the attention he was getting, but Reno nipped it in the bud with a stern look and the rest of the meal passed in relative peace.

Until it was time to do dishes, that is.

"I _won't_!"

"You _will_!"

"I will _not_!" Kadaj shouted, mimicking Yazoo's stance—hands on hips and leaning forward aggressively.

"_Yes. You. Will_!" Yazoo bit out, eyes practically shooting sparks. "_I _made dinner._ I_ set the table._ I_ cleared the table._ You will do the dishes_!"

"I will _n_—"

"Stop fucking fighting!" Reno shouted from the living room, and Loz was laughing at the nightly ritual that had, apparently, not changed a bit since he'd left. "Kadaj, do the damned dishes!"

Furious, made even more angry when Yazoo gave him a smug smirk, Kadaj reached out and viciously pinched his brother on the throat, making him gasp in outrage and pain.

"And stop pinching your brother!" Reno yelled, freezing both of them in their tracks.

"How does he do that?" Yazoo whispered, rubbing the red spot on his throat, his irritation at Kadaj forgotten in the face of Reno's odd ability to see through walls.

Wide-eyed, Kadaj kept his theory to himself, but whispered, "I'm not sure. It's _scary_, though."

Without another word, he filled the sink with sudsy water and got to work, Yazoo lending a hand to make it go faster and both of them just a little intimidated by the omnipotent presence of god having a beer and relaxing in the living room with their not-so-bright middle brother.


	11. Like the Same Person

Individuality was a fairly new concept to Kadaj. When he and his 'brothers' had first come into being, they were all "I." There was no 'we' because they were one person who happened to be in three different bodies with varying degrees of personality and traits from their original. For instance, when someone irritated Yazoo, Kadaj was as likely as Loz to say, "Stop bothering me," instead of Yazoo saying so. They had no means to differentiate between themselves until the discovery of names, which brought with it individuality. Suddenly, "I" ceased to mean all three and "you" became the norm. Instinctually behaving as one being evolved into being three separate people who didn't share the same feelings and fears, and with it came a measure of discovery and independence along with the inevitable sibling rivalry.

So when Reno told him that touching Yazoo was like touching himself, it wasn't really a hard concept for either Kadaj or Yazoo to understand.

It had started innocently enough, which was rather usual where Kadaj was concerned. After the dishwashing episode that wound up degenerating into a battle of epic proportions involving himself, Yazoo, and the squirter-thingy on the sink, Reno sorted them out (Yazoo got a scolding, Kadaj got a whack on the bottom) and sent them to change their sodden clothes for dry ones.

In the meantime, Loz took off to meet one of his girlfriends and left without saying goodbye to either of them, which hurt Kadaj's feelings. When he thought it might gain him a little extra attention, he started in with crocodile tears, but Reno didn't seem to notice and before long Kadaj had forgotten why he was crying, so he stopped. The man was restless and tense and kept wincing, something Kadaj was aware of but didn't particularly care about.

Yazoo, however, softly inquired if Reno would like a backrub, and the man immediately agreed.

"_I_ want to help!" Kadaj wailed, feeling left out and afraid that they would abandon him in the living room. Just because he'd gotten to sleep in their bed with them last night didn't mean he was allowed to do so _again_.

"Alright, Princess," Reno said, holding out his hand for Kadaj to grab, his other already in Yazoo's grasp. "You can watch and see how it's done."

Yazoo looked less than pleased, and his irritation only increased when Kadaj stuck his tongue out at him, but Reno put an arm around both of them and said, "We're gonna fix this shit, yo."

Kadaj had no idea what he was talking about, but Yazoo looked both scared and somehow relieved...which gave Kadaj the thought that maybe fixing "this shit" really meant he was going to have to mind Yazoo. _Not_ a pleasant thought.

Yazoo led them into the bedroom and Kadaj fluttered around the foot of the bed while Reno stripped off his shirt. Kadaj enjoyed the pretty sight he presented with his lean belly flashing and the healthy stripes of his ribs showing under his white skin as he moved. Surprisingly, he had no other tattoos outside of those slashes on his face, and Kadaj was secretly rather glad about that since Reno's milky white skin was too pretty to mar with ugly marks. The few scars he had did nothing to detract from his beauty, merely told the story of a life lived with a little less caution than most.

Dork," Reno called him, catching Kadaj's fascinated grin. He stretched out on his belly with a sigh, his lean frame laying the length of the large bed.

"Sit," Yazoo murmured to Kadaj, indicating a spot on the bed next to Reno's side. He himself hiked up his loose pants and straddled Reno's hips, working his fingers with careful concentration before smoothing his hands down Reno's slim, muscled back.

Reno propped his cheek on his folded arms and turned his head towards Kadaj, saying, "You're going to school Friday."

Kadaj pouted and worked up a good case of the Big Eyes, trying to buy some time while he gathered his arguments against going to school.

"Don't start," Reno warned. "You need to be around kids your own age, yo. And you need to learn how other kids behave—I understand that you're a bit of a blond, Kadaj, but you need to learn a few things."

Kadaj frowned at him while Yazoo methodically worked his strong fingers over Reno's tight back.

"Reno, I don't…" he hesitated when the man's blue eyes narrowed. "I don't think I'll like kids my age."

"Don't know till you try, baby," Reno said, giving a soft moan of appreciation when Yazoo dispersed a particularly painful knot. "You'll go Friday, figure out the layout, get used to things, and start for real on Monday. Got it, yo?"

Stripped of any means to protest, Kadaj could only nod, unhappy.

"And you both are coming to work with me tomorrow," he added.

Yazoo's slight pause was his only reaction. Kadaj's was a bit more open.

He bounced a little where he sat and squealed softly in excitement, though he wasn't sure _why_ the prospect of going to work was so exciting. Still, it was a chance to get out of the apartment and it _wasn't_ going to school, so it _must_ be a good thing.

"Stop bouncing," Reno complained. "Pay attention to your brother, you need to know this shit."

Kadaj quieted and focused on Yazoo's working fingers, quickly zoning out to think about Loz and the possibility of going sailing and how he'd have his new bike before he had to go to stupid _school_…

"Baby, you mind if they run some tests on you?" Reno asked, addressing Yazoo. "The doc thinks he might be able to figure out your ages. I think it's a good idea, especially for the Helium Head."

Yazoo kept massaging, murmuring, "Whatever you think is best, Reno."

"There's my baby," Reno sighed, pleased as always by Yazoo's deferential and submissive attitude.

Irked, Kadaj asked, "What about _me_? What if _I_ don't want to know?"

Reno cocked a lazy eye at him and smirked at his angry little face, saying, "Daddy knows what's best for his babies."

Kadaj looked to Yazoo for backup, but the man only nodded in agreement with Reno before pointing to the red mark on his throat and giving Kadaj a soft scowl. No help _there_.

"As for you two always bitching at one another, we're gonna fix that in a minute," Reno announced, eliciting another brief, startled pause from Yazoo. "Don't worry, baby, you'll be okay."

Yazoo resumed his lingering backrub, the expression on his face denoting sheer enjoyment from just touching his lover. Yazoo was a giver, something Kadaj had preyed upon mercilessly in the Bad Days. Now Yazoo had transferred his need to please to Reno, who seemed to appreciate it with more sincerity than Kadaj ever had.

"Alright," Reno said, calling it done and shifting under Yazoo's light weight. "Grab my smokes, Kadaj."

The boy scanned the room and dashed to the dresser for one of the many packs Reno left scattered all over the apartment. With a leap of genius, he grabbed the ashtray as well and skittered back to the bed, immediately scowling to see Reno sitting against the headboard with Yazoo cuddled in his lap, kissing.

"Here," he snapped, throwing the pack onto the bed and slamming the ashtray down on the nightstand before turning his back on them with arms crossed, mad at the ploy that had gotten him out of the way.

He heard the pack crinkle, heard the snick of the lighter, and then Reno said, "Get over here, you sassy little shit. Fuck, you're more prickly than a damned cactus, yo."

Kadaj tapped his foot but didn't comply since the request was given with an insult attached.

"Kadaj," Reno said, a vague but serious thread of warning in his throaty voice. "Don't make me tell you again."

Flouncing around in a temper, Kadaj plopped down on the mattress, holding himself stiff until Reno reached forward with one strong hand and snagged him by the bicep, yanking him back to where the pair were cuddling. Kadaj put up token resistance, but there really was no resisting Reno when he had his mind set on something, and the boy lacked the muscular strength of the grown man's rangy, wiry body.

"You know what?" he asked, the cigarette clamped in the corner of his mouth, one arm around Kadaj's waist and the other stroking the soft curve of Yazoo's back. "I think Yazoo doesn't get appreciated enough around here. What do you think, Kadaj?"

Yazoo was blushing softly, his eyes lowered and his hand tracing lazy, absent circles on Reno's hard belly around the slight dimple of his belly button.

Kadaj wriggled closer to Reno and frowned at his brother, saying, "I don't know. What does he need to be appreciated for?"

"Well, he cleans, he does the laundry, he shops for food," Reno listed off, all the while his blue eyes on his slender, diffident lover. "He makes meals and entertains visitors and still manages to anticipate what we want before we have to ask for it. When was the last time you said thank you to him, Kadaj?"

Kadaj's brows drew together as he thought about it.

"I don't think I say thank you for that stuff, Reno," he said. "It's just what Yazoo does."

"Well, we're going to thank him right now, Princess," Reno said, and stilled Yazoo's soft, embarrassed protests. "No, baby—you do a lot around here and you need to get a little back."

Kadaj watched in mild irritation as Reno gave Yazoo a soft kiss and nuzzled him, murmuring something in his delicate ear that made Yazoo's eyes open wide in shock. Reno soothed him, murmuring something else that made him relax and nod a little, saying with soft grace, "If that's what you want, Reno."

Reno smiled at him and turned his attention to Kadaj, saying, "Hey, baby, what do you think? Isn't Yazoo the prettiest thing you've ever seen?"

"No!" Kadaj said, miffed. "I don't think that at all!"

"Hey," Reno purred, leaning close. "Don't tell lies to God, Kadaj. You like worshipping, yeah?"

Kadaj nodded, suddenly a little more interested in what Reno was doing now that _that_ was involved.

"Well, I love my baby, and I think he needs a little worshipping, too," Reno said.

Kadaj looked at Yazoo again, trying to figure out exactly how _that_ would work. Reno _was_ right, Yazoo was awfully pretty, though Kadaj hated to admit it. He was beautiful in a way that was different from Kadaj, more mature and less attention-catching but no less perfect. With his jade eyes so sweetly downcast and a soft, nervous smile on his full mouth, he looked gorgeous and Kadaj started to glower.

"Easy," Reno warned, seeing his whole expression shift. "I want you to think of Yazoo like you think of me, Kadaj. Not like a brother, not like a rival, yo—but like someone you want to be close to, same as you want to be close to me. Got it?"

Kadaj fretted a little, trying to push his jealousy aside. He'd been at odds with Yazoo for so long that it was hard to think of him in terms of someone he wanted to do _that_ with.

"Just think of it like touching yourself," Reno told him, laughing a little because he found it funny. "After all, you two are like the same person…"

For Kadaj it was a light in the attic—he remembered when they'd first burst into being, how he'd been so connected to his brothers that eating, sleeping, and speaking was all a synchronized whole. It had felt like being in three places at once, their bodies and nerves merely an extension of his own. It was a long time ago, and they'd gone through a lot since then—including dying and returning—but the concept itself flipped a switch in Kadaj's head and he took another look at Yazoo as just an extension of himself.

And besides, if there was one thing on this planet that Kadaj loved more than anything else, it was _Kadaj_.

"You really are pretty, Yazoo," Kadaj said, blushing with sudden shyness where his big brother was concerned, because with admission came the option for being rejected, and if there was one thing Kadaj did _not_ do well (besides clean up after himself) it was get rejected.

"There, see?" Reno said, sounding pleased. "Don't be cold to him, baby, the little guy's trying."

Yazoo didn't seem as accepting of Kadaj's motives as Reno did. He gave the man a concerned look, apprehensive and nervous.

Kadaj curled against Reno, hiding his face against the man's smooth chest.

"Sh, don't worry, baby," the man said to Yazoo, his tone coaxing and gentle. "I want you two to be close, understand? The three of us, one happy little family—and that means the two of you loving each other as much as you love me."

Yazoo's anxious jade eyes held Reno's blue one for a long, weighty moment, and then he turned to Kadaj with a soft smile and breathed, "Whatever you think is best, Reno."

When Reno pulled Kadaj partially onto his lap with Yazoo, the boy went willingly, and smiled when Yazoo embraced him.


	12. Saying Thank You!

Okay, I have zero patience, so here is the smut--a real threesome is coming up, so if you like this story, leave a review and hang in there 'cause there's more to come! Oh, and in case you didn't notice, I mark my juicy chapters with (!). Yeah, they really aren't part of the chapter names, FYI.

* * *

Ever the pushiest of the three, it was Kadaj who leaned up in Reno's lap to kiss his older brother. Yazoo didn't exactly pull away, but there was a reluctance to his response that Kadaj recognized immediately. He pulled back and looked at Reno, suddenly worried that this wasn't what the man had meant. With the promise of his bike so close, Kadaj wasn't willing to jeopardize it!

"You're okay, Princess," Reno soothed, smiling at him and finishing off his smoke. He rocked Yazoo in his lap a little and shifted them both closer so that Kadaj was nearly atop his brother, both of them across Reno's legs. "Who's my pretty baby?"

Yazoo blushed and bit his lip, pleased.

"That's right," Reno said, as if Yazoo's response were an answer. "You love your daddy, don't you?"

Yazoo nodded, absently reaching out to stroke Kadaj's arm, seeking comfort from his obvious confusion.

"Then play nice and let the little bit say thank you," Reno told him, his coaxing only barely concealing what was, effectively, an order. "You trust me, baby—you know I always do what's best for you. We're gonna fix this, yo."

Yazoo's big eyes shone with love and he softly sighed, "I trust you, Reno."

"I know, pretty baby," the man murmured, true affection in his big blue eyes. "You get to play for a change, Yazoo—weren't you just saying that I never share you? Well, now we got the little guy, so help yourself."

Kadaj was breathless, not sure how it was going to fall out. Yazoo was always so easily swayed to do whatever Reno wished of him that it should be a sure thing…but then again, Yazoo had a core of solid, unbending steel in him that Kadaj doubted even Reno could force to yield—if his brother decided he wasn't having it, _he wasn't having it_.

"My turn?" Yazoo murmured, and looked at Kadaj with assessing, wary interest.

"That's right, kid," Reno said. "Whatever you want—he owes you, yo. Payback's a bitch."

Kadaj swallowed hard, not sure if he was following. It sounded almost as if Reno was giving Yazoo free license to do whatever he wanted with Kadaj.

"Reno," he squeaked, pulling back slightly at the growing predatory gleam in Yazoo's jade eyes, reminded all too vividly of their origin and his odd brand of cruelty that disguised itself as love. "You won't let him hurt me?"

"Nobody's gonna hurt you, Princess," Reno murmured. But added, "Not without asking first, anyways."

Kadaj glanced back at Yazoo, ready to protest, ready to actually just go sleep by himself in his old room, but his brother's stroking hand tightened ever so slightly on his arm and Yazoo's lush, soft mouth moved to kiss his with all the tickling lightness of a butterfly.

Kadaj laughed a little, a combination of nerves and the tickling feel of Yazoo's lips. Reno stroked his back, comforting yet urging him on.

"Isn't he sweet, Yazoo?" the man asked, and if their combined weight on his lap bothered him he did an admirable job of hiding it. "Eat him up, baby."

Yazoo slowly uncoiled in Reno's lap, his slender legs sliding open to frame Kadaj's slim hips, his smooth, soft hands sweeping down his brother's tense little back as his full lips pressed to Kadaj's in a firm, soft kiss.

Kadaj whimpered a little, falling against Yazoo's chest, his own small hands coming to rest on the man's narrow hips. He wasn't used to being kissed so thoroughly—until Reno had taught him how to worship, all of his kisses had been chaste as a nun's. But kissing Yazoo was as sweet as kissing Reno, though the difference in their mouths made it more interesting. Reno's mouth was wide but thin-lipped, warm and demanding. Yazoo's was like a girl's (or so Kadaj imagined); it was soft and full and just as delicious as Reno's had been. When the man's tongue slipped into his mouth, Kadaj opened for it with a sigh.

Reno whistled lowly, still holding them both, and said, "Now, ain't that a wet dream come true?"

Kadaj wanted to ask him what a wet dream was, but Yazoo's head tilted just a little and the boy was suddenly breathless as their kiss deepened. He lifted his slender hands to Yazoo's shoulders, warming to his touch. His brother was not without experience in such things, though he willingly played the bottom for his demanding and dominating lover. But Yazoo embodied that certain quality which Reno both recognized and was willing to indulge—he was a Switch. And he was _very_ good at it.

When Yazoo tapered the kiss off to transfer his mouth to Kadaj's moist, tender little neck, all the boy could manage was a shaky, impressed, "Wow…"

"Hey, start thanking your brother," Reno reminded, never willing to relinquish his power over them even when not directly involved. "You got a lot of making up to do after all the fighting you two have been up to, yo."

In this, however, Kadaj had too little experience to really take the lead and didn't quite know what Reno expected of him.

"You're alright, Kadaj," Yazoo breathed into his other ear, so that their hair hid the movement of his lips. He squeezed Kadaj's slender body close and sighed, "Reno could top from another planet—it's just what he does."

Kadaj giggled a little, not positive he knew what "topping" meant but figuring it had something to do with Reno's habit of being so bossy and single-mindedly demanding all of the time, even in bed.

Yazoo shifted with Kadaj in his arms, sliding off of Reno's lap to place hard, sucking kisses on the boy's throat, his slender hands slipping down the back of the boy's loose pants to cup his round bottom.

Kadaj felt himself blush as he started to warm in his brother's embrace. Having Yazoo touch him was less nerve-wracking than having Reno do so—there wasn't the constant apprehension that he might do something wrong, only heat and the sudden stirring of want when he recalled just how enjoyable worshipping was.

"Lift your arms," Yazoo murmured, sliding his hands out of Kadaj's pants to grasp the hem of his tee shirt. Kadaj lifted his arms and shivered as the light material skimmed over his sensitive skin. He sat quietly in Yazoo's lap while the older man shed his own shirt, his pearlescent skin almost glowing in the soft light.

Reno swept his hand down Yazoo's back and made him shiver with something much deeper and more yielding than simple reaction—he was ever aware of the man's hold on him, and Reno never missed a chance to remind him. Even in this he was still Reno's, it was an allowance made for his sake with, perhaps, reasons other than just appreciation.

"Yazoo?" Kadaj breathed, sitting astride his brother's hips and not missing his light shudder or subsequent pleased blush. Worried that Yazoo might be having a change of heart, Kadaj tipped his head up and pressed his mouth to his brother's, kissing him like he'd learned from Reno, cautiously stroking his small hands down the perfect planes of Yazoo's tight belly and sides. He felt the hard heat of Yazoo swelling between them and shivered, his own body tightening in answer.

Yazoo made a soft, mewling sound low in his throat and his hands were urgent when they dropped to Kadaj's hips to haul him close, urging him to rock in his lap. Kadaj wound his slender arms around Yazoo's neck and shuddered as he rocked, the friction causing sparking tingles to fan out from where his groin was pressed to Yazoo's.

The man ended their kiss with a breathless gasp, turning to lay Kadaj down on the bed on his back. Before the boy could even process what was happening, Yazoo swiftly stripped his loose pants off, baring his hard young body.

Yazoo just knelt there—half off of the bed, one slender leg braced—and stared at Kadaj with big, disbelieving eyes.

"Better than chocolate, eh, baby?" Reno murmured, a lazy grin on his face at Yazoo's obvious appreciation. "Somebody serves you a banquet, Yazoo, you ain't supposed to just _look_ at it."

Kadaj had gotten nervous again when Yazoo stared at him so strangely, with such ravenous hunger. He twisted onto his belly and skittered to Reno, hiding his face against the man's lean side while Yazoo shed the last of his clothing.

"You're okay, baby," Reno assured him, and pulled away. Kadaj watched him with anxious eyes while he unfastened his watch and started to strip, but Yazoo caught him by one slender ankle and hauled him back.

Kadaj yelped, startled and a little overwhelmed to be pressed so intimately to his brother. Though Reno's way had been almost impersonal, it had at least allowed Kadaj time to adjust to everything. Yazoo was the opposite, forcing Kadaj into the _now_, making him painfully aware of his own desire and how desperately he wanted to worship.

The bed sank when Reno stretched out again, his head propped on the pillows and his lazy, glittering eyes watching them. His body was hard and Kadaj caught a glimpse of it around Yazoo's frantic, hungry kisses. The sight made him moan in remembrance of how perfect and painfully wonderful it had been.

Reno patted his upper belly with his hand, the sound muted. Yazoo, ever aware of his dominant lover, responded immediately to the unspoken request and lifted Kadaj, laying him on Reno's body so that the large, hard curve of his erection was pressed beneath the cleft of Kadaj's bottom and partially up his slender back.

Reno groaned a little, a pleased and amused sound.

"Just right," he sighed, settling Kadaj more firmly against him while Yazoo knelt between both of their legs. Kadaj wriggled, balanced cautiously on Reno's slim body, nervous that his weight was going to actually _hurt_ the man. Reno, however, merely trapped Kadaj's slender wrists in his larger hands and held him there, spread-eagle across his own body. "There you go, baby—all laid out and ready, yo."

Yazoo's eyes were sparkling with heat as he looked at them, a soft smile curving his generous mouth. He skimmed his fingertips up Kadaj's legs, making the boy yelp and wriggle and causing Reno to snap at him, "Tie him if you need to."

"I won't need to," Yazoo murmured. "Not this time."

Kadaj shivered, going limp against Reno's warm body, acutely aware of the man's fat, heavy cock beneath him, equally aware of his own body straining with want. He slit his eyes and looked at Yazoo again while the man paused to knot his hair back.

His brother was so beautiful, so graceful. Kadaj was just as curious about _his_, and wriggled softly against Reno in anticipation, making the man hiss a little and tighten his hold on Kadaj's wrists. But Yazoo's was like Kadaj's, only bigger. It wasn't huge and intimidating like Reno's—it was full, thick, and rather long and a pretty pale pink all over, mapped with little blue veins and rising from the smooth skin of his bulging, hairless sac.

Yazoo shook his head a little to make sure his hair wouldn't fall down, and then crouched down to run his tongue along the inside of Reno's thigh, making the man twitch beneath Kadaj and causing a spasm to run through his cock that made Kadaj tighten and whimper. He tightened further when Yazoo repeated his motion, only this time on Kadaj's slender thigh, the warm, wet trail of his firm tongue teasing up to the crease of his groin, so close to Kadaj's sensitive sac that he felt the warm, moist puff of his breath and writhed to urge him closer.

"Sh," Reno soothed, his thumbs stroking softly over the Kadaj's delicate palms, adding his own contribution to Kadaj's shivers. "Let Yazoo do what he does best, Princess."

Kadaj was rapidly getting overcome by the pleasurable sensations coming at him and started panting a little, his lean belly caving and his own strutted sex bouncing against his stomach.

"We gotta teach this kid some patience, yo," Reno remarked, and moaned in tune with Kadaj when Yazoo's hot tongue laved them both, sliding up from Reno's heavy balls to Kadaj's own tight ones. "Fuck, Yazoo, don't make the little shit cum yet!"

"He'll be fine," Yazoo assured him, and sucked Kadaj's taut little sac into his mouth.

Kadaj couldn't help but arch his back and wail, his movement shoving his bottom hard into Reno's throbbing sex and making the man's hips arch against him in helpless response, his breath coming out in a low, gravelly growl.

"Oh my god!" Kadaj cried, writhing, Reno's hands moving to cross over his chest and hold him still. The wet heat of Yazoo's mouth felt incredible and its nearness to Kadaj's straining, aching body was driving him mad. "Yazoo!"

His brother lifted his head with a long, lingering suck and whispered, "It's okay, Kadaj—you can beg."

Kadaj clenched his teeth and subsided against Reno's body, panting softly, shuddering when Yazoo crawled closer to lay nibbling, grazing kisses on his lower belly, on his sides, on his flanks, all the while never touching him where Kadaj hurt to be touched.

Reno unwound one strong arm from Kadaj's chest and brushed his calloused thumb over the boy's rosy little nipple while Yazoo bit, kissed, and sucked his way up Kadaj's body.

"He's about to pop, baby," Reno said, laughing softly when Kadaj whimpered and jerked hard beneath his brother's skilled mouth.

Yazoo, propped on all fours and looming over them, regarded his writhing baby brother with something like ownership shining in his big jade eyes. Without a word to either of them, he scooted back and hefted Kadaj up, turning him gently to lay him belly-down on top of Reno so that his slim legs straddled Reno's hips and his throbbing sex was pressed against Reno's own.

Shuddering, Kadaj nuzzled close to Reno and hid his face against the man's well-formed chest, feeling Yazoo crowd close behind him.


	13. Insult To Injury!

"Now _that's_ what I'm talking about," Reno said, his voice husky with lust and his hands rubbing down Kadaj's back.

Yazoo coated himself with slippery-slick, Kadaj shivering uncontrollably where he lay prone on top of Reno. He scrunched harder against the man when Yazoo's slick finger slid up inside him, forcing a moan from his mouth and sending a throb of pleasure through his groin. Reno felt his reaction and laughed softly, telling Yazoo, "He's gonna blow, baby—he'll be off like a firecracker before you even hit bottom."

"Not if he knows what's good for him," Yazoo murmured, and Reno nodded at him in approval, pleased with his pretty baby. Yazoo poised himself to slide inside and said to Kadaj, "You cum when Reno tells you, Kadaj, and not a second before."

Kadaj clutched Reno's sides and bit his lip as Yazoo eased inside him. Lacking the dimensions of Reno's daunting sex, Yazoo's didn't stretch him uncomfortably wide, yet the full heat of him still teased over Kadaj's sweet spot. The boy moaned, eyes fluttering in pleasure, relaxing utterly against Reno to keep from exploding with sensation.

"Good boy," Reno praised, and pressed a finger into Kadaj's mouth, urging him to bite and suck.

Yazoo was shaking, shuddering as he slowly sank inside Kadaj's tight body. He shifted his grip on the boy's slender hips and spread his legs. When he started to thrust both Kadaj and Reno groaned, each hard arch of his hips shoving Kadaj hard against Reno's pulsing groin.

"That's right, baby, fuck him for daddy," Reno urged, enjoying the friction and Kadaj's helpless, pleasured cries. He reached up with his free hand and caressed Yazoo's throat, his shoulder, pausing to give one nipple a hard pinch that made the man smile and shudder, enjoying the rough treatment. "When you're done with the kid, I'm gonna fuck you so hard you scream, Yazoo. I'm gonna pound your ass straight through the headboard."

Yazoo gasped in pleasure, his pace quickening, Kadaj writhing beneath him.

"Beg, Kadaj," he moaned, arching his hips to relentlessly assault Kadaj's sweet spot, each deep thrust rocking the boy's body against Reno's until he was hanging on by a thread of willpower, his slender body taut with the need for release. "Beg him to cum, Kadaj!"

Reno let go of Yazoo's abused nipple and drew his hand away from Kadaj's mouth. He tangled his fist in Kadaj's hair and pulled until the boy lifted himself a little, hands braced at Reno's sides.

"You'd better start begging, brat," he said, and wedged his hand between their sweaty bellies to take Kadaj's aching sex in a hard grip that made him scream, shuddering and tightening so hard that _Yazoo_ cried out. "If you cum without begging, without me telling you to, me and Yazoo are gonna run a train on that little ass and wear you out so bad you won't walk straight for a week. I swear to me, yo."

Kadaj didn't know what any of that meant. Yazoo's delicious cock was sliding in and out of him in a quick, hard rhythm, bumping his sweet spot with each stroke, forcing his erection to slide against Reno's and heightening his pleasure. Now, with Reno's hand wrapped so firmly around him, the pleasure became unbearable and he could hardly focus on what Reno was telling him—it was too much, too amazing, and he wanted it to last forever but he felt that pinnacle coming, that amazing explosion that would bring it all to a shattering climax and fill him up with blinding, muscle-seizing pleasure. Dimly, he understood that Reno didn't want him to just fly apart into pieces, and he remembered how last time the man had _told_ him to cum.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" he whimpered, panting, arching into Reno's roughly milking hand and straining back against Yazoo's deep thrusts. He clenched his teeth and shuddered, prompting Reno to warn, "I mean it, baby—you're about to pop, yo, you'd best start begging."

"Please!" he babbled, gasping for breath, not really sure what to beg for or even how to do it.

Reno seemed to understand his plight. He slowed the pull of his hand and asked, "Please what, baby? You wanna cum?"

"Yes!" Kadaj wailed, his begging making Yazoo move against him with greater urgency.

"You want daddy to let you cum, baby?"

"Yes! _Please_!" Kadaj begged, his head still back at an angle, his hair snarled in Reno's fist.

"Ask like a good baby boy," Reno told him, and started stroking him faster.

Kadaj's eyes rolled back in his head as he struggled to hang on, only able to utter gasping, panting little cries for long, dangerous moment. Finally, he caught his breath enough to whimper, "Please let me cum!"

Reno's hips arched under his, sliding that amazing cock beneath him and making him clench.

"Who're you asking, baby?"

Kadaj shuddered hard, finally understanding what he was wanting. Knowing he had only seconds left before Yazoo's amazing cock and Reno's hard hand did him in, Kadaj wailed, "_Please, daddy, let me cum_!"

"There's my baby boy," Reno said, his voice rough with lust and pleased with Kadaj's pained cry. "Cum for daddy, Kadaj."

Kadaj strained hard, back bowing in a pretty arch and hips pulsing as he came. For a long, breathless moment everything was blindingly white and still and Kadaj was nothing but nerve endings bursting with pleasure. It broke with a wash of shudders and he bucked between them, only the hard press of their bodies containing his wild, uncontrolled movements. He didn't even realize he was screaming until Reno's hand muffled his mouth, his other hand still stroking Kadaj and milking the last dribbles of yucky-gross out of him onto his washboard stomach.

He slumped in lethargic release, Reno's hand moving from his mouth to cup the back of his head, his other hand still idly and slowly teasing Kadaj's spent sex, so sensitive now that the lightest touch made him wince at the overkill of pleasure. Yazoo still held his hips in hands that were almost painfully tight, sinking deep in rapid, urgent thrusts that made Kadaj moan in soft protest—his climax reached, the boy wanted only to sleep.

"It's been a long time since you've tagged a piece of ass, hasn't it, baby?" Reno asked him, and Yazoo's whimper was his only reply. "Don't hold back on him now, angel. The baby boy got his, now I wanna see my baby do some serious fucking."

Kadaj sobbed a soft protest when Yazoo reared up, lifting his hips, and started to pound into him. It didn't hurt, he was too relaxed for it to pain him, but Yazoo's violence worried Kadaj in some vague, distant corner of his mind not doped up on a cum-high.

Reno watched with hot, sparkling eyes, moving both hands to curve over Kadaj's bottom and squeeze, pulling him open a little father for Yazoo's frantic thrusts. Kadaj might've minded if he hadn't been so sleepy, but Yazoo felt really good inside him like that, and his brother's low, keening cries made Kadaj wish he could go some more, or at least turn around and squeeze Yazoo close while he felt such wondrous pleasure.

Yazoo threw back his head and surged hard against Kadaj, a harsh cry tearing its way from between his clenched teeth. He thrust roughly into Kadaj's softly complaining body, shuddering uncontrollably and almost weeping with the strength of his climax as he burst inside Kadaj in a wash of wet heat.

Kadaj slumped against Reno's slender body, the man's fat, heavy cock pulsing in throbbing rhythm against his belly and soft sex. When Yazoo eased out of him Reno twisted, putting Kadaj down next to him with a gentleness that belied his domineering demands and usual rough handling.

The boy snuggled against the comforter, his heated body slowly cooling, Yazoo reaching out to caress him only to be snatched back by Reno. The man tumbled Yazoo onto his back and pinned him, kissing him with a roughness he'd never shown Kadaj. Yazoo bit at him, snapping like a vicious animal and prompting Reno to respond with a sharp slap to his mouth, growling, "Little shit—give you an inch with the Princess and you think you can take a mile with me, huh?"

Yazoo smirked at him and threw his head back, offering the long line of his throat in a way that made even Kadaj swallow hard. He'd never seen this feral side to his brother, this all-encompassing dominance from Reno…It made him understand a little better why Reno insisted that they would _always_ be together. Being the way he was, Reno must only rarely run across people who suited him as well as Yazoo. Casual flings were one thing, but letting go completely with someone who understood you was something else entirely.

Kadaj curled against the pillow, rather worried by the way Yazoo fought Reno, wriggling out of his hands, biting him and even hitting him, only to suddenly submit with quiet grace. For his part, Reno seemed to enjoy Yazoo's feisty behavior and retaliated in kind, secure in his lover's trust. Neither of them considered the boy watching them with wide, uncertain eyes, unsure if they were playing or actually really _fighting_ over Yazoo's brief flirtation with being the dominant one.

"You nasty little bitch," Reno said, jerking back with blood on his lips when Yazoo gave him a particularly spirited bite. He grinned, though, roughly shoving Yazoo's legs up and moving that turgid, swollen cock into position. "Just for that I'm hittin' you dry, baby. Can't let you forget who your daddy is."

Yazoo shuddered prettily, suddenly compliant once more, an expression of utter bliss on his beautiful face when Reno started to work his fat sex into Yazoo's tight body with no other lubrication than the slight slickness of his own precum and the few errant drops of Kadaj's cum. He moaned loudly, his flaccid sex twitching.

"Does it hurt, baby?" Reno asked, panting a little in effort. Watching Yazoo fuck Kadaj had gotten him ready to go, and now forcing his way into Yazoo's resisting flesh was only edging him closer. "Tell me, Yazoo—does it hurt?"

"Oh, _yes_!" Yazoo sighed, mindless with bliss.

"Good," Reno snapped, shoving a little deeper to make Yazoo wail. "Take it, baby, and don't forget for one second who owns you, Yazoo."

Yazoo's slender body arched up, hips lifting to offer more, and he softly gasped, "You do! _You do_!"

"You're fucking right I do," Reno growled, and hunkered low over Yazoo, arching over him and forcing his slender ankles down around his perfect ears.

Kadaj perked up a little, wondering if _he_ could get into such a position. Once he realized that Reno was just playing with Yazoo, that his brother's resistance was part of some game they liked to play, Kadaj had relaxed and just idly watched them, wishing they would hurry up because he was tired and wanted to sleep.

He had a wait ahead of him. Reno hadn't been kidding when he'd said he didn't like getting off fast—he had Yazoo all over the bed, twisted up into ways that made Kadaj wish he had a pen and paper so he could remember how it looked. True to his promise, he wound up pummeling Yazoo's bottom so hard the youth had to pad his head with his arms against the headboard, and it still knocked against the wall with such force that the neighbors banged back, irritated. Reno shouted curses at them and then he did something that rather surprised Kadaj. After pounding into Yazoo so hard that even Kadaj had winced, the man pulled out of him and snapped an order at Kadaj to cuddle Yazoo.

Apparently, Yazoo knew what was coming next. He pulled Kadaj to his side and kissed him, gently fondling his soft little sex while Reno reared up on his knees before them both.

Confused, Kadaj kissed him back and jumped in surprise when Reno stroked himself to orgasm, coating them both in ropes of yucky-gross so that Kadaj wailed in outrage and tried to writhe away.

Reno laughed breathlessly at his offended expression, still shuddering hard, the lean muscles of his belly and thighs taut as he worked even more out of his pulsing body. Kadaj glared at him, Yazoo still fastened to his mouth and holding him still by that strategic hold on his most sensitive parts.

To add insult to injury, the last heavy jet of it hit Kadaj right in the face.

Once it was clear that Reno was done, once he slumped down against the mattress with a groan of satiated delight, once Yazoo let go of him with a soft, parting kiss, Kadaj angrily swiped at the yucky stuff on his face and fumed, "I don't _care_ that you're god, Reno—_that is gross_!"

God's only response was a low, satisfied chuckle.


	14. Tests, Driving, and Goiters

"What're you grinning about?" Reno asked, giving Kadaj a suspicious look. The boy only ever looked that ecstatic when he was up to no good, and Reno had good reason not to trust him.

"It's Thursday," Kadaj said, and giggled, hugging himself, his big jade eyes closing in a kind of ecstasy that no worshipping could ever bring him.

Shrugging, Reno wrote it off as another weirdo brat thing and downed his coffee while Yazoo finished putting away the remains of breakfast.

"You're still going to school tomorrow," Reno told him, causing Kadaj's face to fall for a moment into a dark glower, but he perked right up, sighing, "But after that, it's _the weekend_!"

Reno gave him a blank look.

Kadaj's scowl was deadly in its intensity.

"Reno," he snapped, his hugging arms dropping, little hands clenching into fists at his side. "My _bike_?"

Reno blinked at him. After a moment he said, "Oh, yeah. Right. Got it."

Kadaj glared at him before suggesting, "Maybe someone _else_ should take over as god—you're very forgetful!"

"Like _you_ have room to talk," Reno pointed out and, seeing that Yazoo was finished, he shooed them to the door.

Kadaj wriggled past his brother and skipped down the stairs, waving cheerily at the security guard and taking a few spins around in the revolving glass doors. If he held onto the push-bars and pushed with his feet, he could spin all the way around, and he managed several times before Yazoo called him away, scolding him as they piled into the car.

"_I_ want to drive!" Kadaj said, hanging over the seat from the back between Yazoo and Reno.

Reno snorted a little, cracking the window and lighting his morning cigarette, steering with the edge of one knee—which was something Kadaj would like to try. He'd been able to steer his motorcycle with his knees when he needed to, though it was rather difficult. He missed his motorcycle. It would be nice to have another. Maybe he should've asked for one of _those_ instead of a bike, but Reno said he was a disaster around anything mechanical. What had he called him? A Kadaster?

"Well, that was just rude!" Kadaj said, remembering the instance and irritated afresh.

Reno glanced at him in the rearview mirror and Yazoo gave him a curious look over one shoulder, neither of them knowing what he was talking about.

"You're a fucking nutter," Reno told him, and Kadaj blushed.

"Please let me drive?" Kadaj begged, wriggling forward so that he hung balanced over the seat on his hips.

"Sit back, Kadaj—if there's an accident you'll go straight through the windshield," Yazoo told him, urging him back.

"Don't shove!" Kadaj said, avoiding his brother's determined hands. "Stop it! Reno, tell him to stop!"

Reno looked at him again and shortly said, "Plant it."

Kadaj dropped back on his bottom, pouting, and tried to have the last word with, "I just want to drive."

In the rearview mirror those big blue eyes searched the road behind them and then landed on Kadaj, who summoned up the Big Eyes and gave him a hopeful pout.

"On the way home, Princess."

Kadaj dissolved into happy glee and even buckled his seatbelt like Yazoo had insisted.

Reno drove them to the new ShinRa building. It was one of Kadaj's favorite buildings, mostly because he'd forced Rufus Mother-Hater ShinRa to fall from the unfinished thirteenth floor of it. Kadaj found that a very pleasant memory and wished he could do it again with greater effect every time he saw the snooty blond man.

Kadaj resisted when Yazoo tried to clip his visitor's badge on him, wanting to do it himself but too distracted by all of the people to finish. It was Reno who finally took the thing from Yazoo's fretful hands and clipped it to the boy's collar before yanking the both of them into the elevator.

"Worse than having a puppy," Reno remarked, and flicked Kadaj's ear with his thumb and forefinger when the boy made to push buttons on the glowing panel. "_Knock it off_."

Yelping at the painful flick to his ear but unable to resist the enticing buttons, Kadaj slyly managed to poke one as they were getting out, setting off alarms.

Yazoo sighed.

Reno scowled at him.

"I didn't do anything!" Kadaj defended, giving them his best innocent look. "_Honest_."

Reno pointed down the hallway, clearly too irate for words.

Chastened, Kadaj promptly did as he was directed, only turning when the man snagged his shirt from behind and slung him in a new direction.

The doctor they were introduced to was very nice and very polite, especially with a Turk glowering over him and protectively demanding to know what he was doing each time he even looked at either Yazoo or Kadaj. The pair of them were joined in short order by Loz, panting and wild-eyed from having gotten lost somewhere on another floor. Elena had escorted him, though she looked unhappy and downright mutinous from having to be near one of the men who had tortured her.

Kadaj still disliked both the ugly (in his opinion) blond woman and the stoic man with the dot on his head, and he poked his tongue out at her and made faces until she got mad enough to step back outside.

The three of them endured the various tests and examinations that the doctor insisted on, and waited in a boring room while he consulted with another doctor over the results. By that time it was almost two in the afternoon and Kadaj was certain that he was on the brink of starvation. He even started to compose a will on a discarded napkin, but wound up just doodling instead.

Loz kept yanking at his tie like it was choking him, and Kadaj finally got so anxious from the other three men's tension that he started to worry his thumbnail with his teeth. He wedged himself into the chair with Loz and leaned against him, comforted when the large man put a big, warm arm around him.

"Well, here we are, then," the doctor said, coming back in with a smile and absently pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Now, as you know, there is no test which can state with one hundred percent accuracy what a person's age is—"

Kadaj shook his head a little. He hadn't known that at all!

"—but from the looks of it…let's see…" he rifled through his sheets and looked at Loz. "Well, it would seem that you're the eldest, young man."

Loz nearly fainted, clutching at Kadaj in shock and squeezing the breath out of him before breathlessly denying, "No, sir! That's Yazoo! _He's_ the eldest!"

The doctor frowned, rechecking his notes, and then said with a note of finality, "No, no—you came first, young man. The interesting thing is that certain results show that all of you are only a few months old. I've never seen anything like it! But the scans and other tests say the same thing—you are oldest, the growth-plate results put you somewhere around twenty-three to twenty-five. You," he looked at Yazoo, who had unconsciously latched onto Reno's hand. "Are just at the cusp of that grouping—twenty to twenty-three. And as for _you_…" Kadaj squeaked, trying to hide behind Loz. "Well, you're very young, yet. You were a little harder because your growth-plates haven't set. So we judge you to be anywhere from fifteen to eighteen years old—but from the other tests, I'd say you're probably fifteen, certainly no older than sixteen."

"_Great_," Kadaj groaned, nuzzling into Loz. "I guess I _have_ to go to stupid _school_!"

"Well, the President wanted these results hand-delivered, so I'll be on my way," the doctor said, smiling at them. "Good luck to you all, I hope this helps."

"_You're_ the oldest?" Yazoo echoed, no less appalled than Loz was. They stared at each other in consternation, unable to get their minds around it.

"Didn't see _that_ one coming," Reno sighed, and lit a cigarette even though he was sitting beneath a 'no smoking' sign. "Well, we got that sorted. Rufus said you can have the rest of the day off, Loz, if there's something you wanna do."

Loz looked as if the only 'something' he'd want to do was go hide in a dark room for a few years. He held fast to Kadaj, still utterly shocked that he was the eldest of the trio. Finally, he roused himself from his dismay enough to respond, saying, "Thank you, Reno. I think I'll just go home and…well, there's…anyway, I can tell a few people who would like to know."

Kadaj scowled, wanting to ask just _who_ Loz was so shy about, but Reno distracted him by calling his name and gesturing him closer.

"Bye, Loz!" Yazoo called, waving as the big man left.

"See ya, yo," Reno told him, settling Kadaj down at his other side and ruffling his hair. He gave the boy an affectionate look and remarked, "Sixteen, huh? Jail bait."

Kadaj frowned, wishing he knew what that meant, but one thing was for certain—he did _not_ associate with jail in any way. Yazoo had explained to him that criminals were best avoided, and television had taught him that people in stripy shirts and black sock-hats were up to no good. _Burglars_.

"I'm not a burglar!" he said, offended.

Reno sighed and shook his head a little, murmuring, "Helium Head. If I could figure out how your brain works, I'd be the richest man in Edge."

"It works like everyone else's," Kadaj scolded, and retreated to Yazoo's side, away from Reno and his inference that Kadaj's brain was wrong.

"Come on," Reno told them, standing and smashing his cigarette out on the floor under the toe of his heavy boot. "The boss said I could take the rest of the day off and make sure you two are okay."

Still a little upset that Reno thought he might have a sideline in thievery, Kadaj was surprisingly quiet on the way to the parking garage. His silence evaporated, however, when Reno tossed him the keys to the car.

Quivering in excitement, Kadaj scooted into the driver's seat, buckled in, and made all of the adjustments that Reno told him to without his usual barrage of questions.

Yazoo lounged contentedly in the backseat, chatting with Reno, who was keeping careful tabs on Kadaj's driving. The boy kept his speed low and stayed alert to everything, paying special attention to the things Reno called out ahead of time, even though he remembered them from when he used to have a motorcycle.

"Oh, Reno, I almost forgot," Yazoo suddenly said. "Can we stop by the store? I need to do some shopping."

"Sure, baby, whatever you want," Reno said, giving him a wolfish grin that made Yazoo blush. "Groceries?"

"Yes, please," Yazoo said, and dug into his backpack for his grocery list.

"Turn right at the light, Princess," Reno instructed, and Kadaj did as he was told.

"Okay," Yazoo sighed, looking at his list. "Let's see—do you still want roast on Friday?"

"Yes," Reno answered, a cautious eye on Kadaj as he drove at a snail's pace through the crowded streets.

"So, we need a rump roast," Yazoo said, clicking a pen to add it to his list. Pausing in confusion, he lifted his head and asked, "Who wrote 'goiter' on my shopping list?"

Kadaj blushed bright red.

Reno started laughing in that low, husky way of his and asked of Kadaj, "Are you _serious_?"

"I didn't want to forget!" Kadaj defended, embarrassed. "But I kinda forgot where I wrote it…"

"Imagine that," Reno sighed, still chuckling.


	15. Toppings

Kadaj leaned over the cart and gave another push with his leg, riding it down the aisle behind Yazoo, who was pouring over his goiter-defaced grocery list. They always let Kadaj push the cart because it kept him entertained and kept him out of greater mischief. It also allowed his older brother to keep an eye on him without rousing his indignation.

"Now what?" Kadaj asked, humming a little as he scooted up behind Yazoo and stood up on the bottom rung of the cart, bouncing with restless energy despite their wild, sleepless night.

"Let's see," Yazoo sighed, peering at his list. He absently pushed his long hair out of his face and then huffed in exasperation when his long bangs just trickled back over his eyes. "We have everything but coffee."

"Coffee!" Kadaj echoed, grinning, and shot off ahead to the coffee and tea aisle. "Where did Reno go?"

"Across the street to get cigarettes," Yazoo murmured, moving gracefully up behind him and scanning the shelves for the brand Reno liked best.

Kadaj frowned, asking, "Can't he buy them _here_?"

Yazoo arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him and commented, "You're starting to sound just like him, always wanting to know what someone is up to—mind your business, Kadaj, and let Reno be the bossy one."

"Can we get ice cream?" Kadaj asked, spying the frozen foods section where he was no longer allowed to venture alone. It wasn't like he'd _meant_ to make a mess last time! The ice cream had been just _sitting_ there in the freezer, all alone and needy, practically _begging_ to be eaten. Boy, had Yazoo been mad when he'd found Kadaj sitting on the floor, surrounded by empty little fist-sized containers, fingers and face sticky with melted delicious ice cream. Reno had looked at the damage receipt and had turned Kadaj over his knee—which served to make him sorry he'd been caught, but not particularly repentant. The spanking, however, had made him a little more wary of Reno's ire, and a little less inclined to do things that might require payment in the shape of a sore bottom.

"You know how ice cream ruins your appetite," Yazoo remarked, adding the coffee to the cart despite Kadaj's outmaneuvering techniques that only won him an aggravated frown.

"Chocolate ruins _yours_," Kadaj pointed out, and held up the candy bars that Yazoo had put in when he thought Kadaj wasn't looking. "How come _you_ get to have the things you want and I never do?"

"Well," Yazoo said, offended. "That's an exaggeration if I've ever heard one!"

Kadaj stuck his tongue out at Yazoo, who stuck his nose in the air and ignored him.

"Please?" he asked, relenting and deciding not to tease his brother. It was funny to see Yazoo all quiet and shy and _dressed_—Kadaj kept remembering him all naked and hungry, and wondered how Yazoo could be so passionate during worship and so passive in public.

"Ask Reno when he gets back," Yazoo snapped, and made his way to the checkout with his hand pulling the front end of the cart.

"Yazoo?"

"Stop _pestering_, Kadaj," Yazoo scolded.

"_Yazoo_!" he whined, and kept up the fretful noise until his brother glared at him, clearly out of patience. Once he had Yazoo's attention, he gave him an impish smile and whispered, "You should kiss me."

"I'll do nothing of the sort!" Yazoo gasped, appalled and blushing furiously. He hauled the cart into the queue and did his best to ignore the teenager leaning over the cart to reach him. When Kadaj got a handful of tee-shirt, he yanked to draw his brother closer. Irritated, Yazoo batted at him and hissed, "_Stop that_! You're going to be in big trouble, Kadaj! You stop that this instant!"

Kadaj didn't stop until he had pulled Yazoo halfway into the cart and could manage to plant a wet kiss on his feverish, bright pink cheek and another on his lush mouth.

"No incest in public, please."

"Reno! Oh, I was just praying you'd come along!" Yazoo said, breathless and embarrassed and finally managing to shove his determined little brother off of him.

"I know," Reno said, looking rather satisfied with himself. Kadaj thought he shouldn't—after all, answering such a little prayer of _that_ caliber was hardly an accomplishment. Those big blue eyes flicked over him and Reno said, "Don't tease your brother."

The portly woman in line behind them gasped a little, looking scandalized, but Reno only leaned in to whisper to her, "We're a close family," before adding a conspiratal wink.

"Well, I _never_!" the woman huffed, and left their queue to find another.

"Never, huh? Well, that's too bad," Reno remarked, watching her waddle away, though he didn't look unhappy with what he saw. He shook his shaggy red head and pulled Kadaj off of the cart, keeping him close at hand while Yazoo unloaded the groceries and paid for their purchases.

"Reno, can we stop for ice cream?" Kadaj asked, fluttering the Big Eyes at him, though Reno had always been strangely immune.

"Tell you what, brat," Reno said, his hand at the small of Yazoo's back while the man pushed their cart out to the parking lot. "If you can keep quiet for five whole minutes, we'll go and get ice cream."

"Yay!" Kadaj shouted, skipping ahead to the car. Five minutes was nothing! He was quiet for _way_ longer than that _all the time_! He didn't really talk that much anyway, not as much as they always pretended. Five minutes was hardly anything at all! It was probably already over with by now!

He wriggled into the backseat while Yazoo and Reno loaded the groceries, thinking that it was _super_ hot in the car and wondering why ShinRa didn't come up with a way to make summer less gross. They came up with just about everything else, including mako and materia. Materia wasn't so easy to get any more, though he knew where Reno had some in his closet. He'd found other stuff in there, too, but Reno had gotten onto him for snooping and he'd never had another chance once Yazoo banned him from going into their room. He should check again. He seemed to remember a big box with lots of weird things in it—maybe they were a secret, though, and that was why Reno had made him leave them alone. Then again, he hadn't been _mad_ at Kadaj for getting into his stuff, just impatient. He hardly ever got _mad_, just that time Yazoo left. He wondered where Yazoo had gone for so long. And why was he sitting in the hot car?

"Hurry up! It's _hot_!" he complained, but cried with anger when Reno laughed at him and crowed, "You lose!"

Even though he lost the Quiet Game, Reno decided that ice cream was a good idea and drove them to the nearest shop. Yazoo seemed pleased by his decision, and kissed him until Kadaj impatiently smacked the back of the seat and reminded them that the car was _hot_ and cool, yummy ice cream awaited them.

"Me first! Me _first_!"

"As if there was some sort of _choice_ involved," Reno dryly said, he and Yazoo following Kadaj up to the counter and smiling over the way Kadaj flitted from one end to the other, wide eyes taking in his many choices of flavors. "A _small_ one, Princess."

"Okay," Kadaj readily agreed, not even hearing him. Bubble gum! Cookie dough! _Chocolate_! He was nearly faint with delight, overwhelmed by choices and trembling with anticipation. Finally, he settled on what he wanted and gave the pimply, icky boy behind the counter a broad, full-force smile. "Mint chocolate, please!"

Shivering with joy, Kadaj watched him scoop out a generous amount of green ice cream and plop it into a cup.

"And for toppings?" the boy asked.

Kadaj was dumbfounded, sure he hadn't heard him correctly. He recalled Yazoo saying last night, '_He could top from another planet_,' and briefly wondered if it was more accepted than he knew of, and what on _earth_ it had to do with ice cream…and, actually, what it really _was_. Shrugging his shoulders at the weird question, Kadaj decided to answer so he could have his ice cream.

"Oh, no thank you," he said, giving the boy a polite smile. "I have Reno and Yazoo; they give me all the toppings I need."

Looking slightly creeped out and very bewildered but still waiting for an answer to the policy-enforced question, the boy stared at Kadaj, blinking.

Kadaj blinked back, unsure of why he just stood there holding the ice-cream that Kadaj _really_ wanted to eat.

From behind him Reno's low, wry voice said with obvious amusement, "He'll have sprinkles."

Looking relieved that someone passably normal had finally answered, the boy generously peppered Kadaj's ice-cream with sprinkles and handed it to him.

"Oh," Kadaj breathed, wide-eyed with a new discovery. "_Toppings_…"


	16. What Bothers Kadaj

"I swear, we should _never_ take him out in public!" Yazoo sighed, cheeks still flaming, thoroughly embarrassed by Kadaj's comment at the ice cream parlor. He put his hand to his forehead and sank deeper into the front seat, as if he might actually be able to disappear if he curled up tight enough.

Reno thought it was hilarious, and his amusement irritated Kadaj more than Yazoo's horror, though neither of them was really at the center of his attention since their untouched ice cream was in the console between them, melting and going all to waste.

"Are you—"

"_Yes_, we're going to eat that," Reno said, cutting him off. He didn't look back at Kadaj, who was trying to maneuver his way closer to the tempting, yummy coolness. His plans were prematurely brought to a close when Reno pulled into their carpark and killed the engine. "Start grabbing the groceries, pest."

Kadaj wrinkled his nose, knowing that some of the bags were quite heavy. With all of the innocence he could muster, he suggested, "Why don't _you_ help, and I'll hold your ice cream?"

Reno gave him a flat look in the rearview mirror and said, "Shift it."

Stymied once more, Kadaj kicked open the back door and stomped out of the car, doubly angry when he saw that Yazoo didn't have to carry anything—_he_ got to carry the ice cream!

"That's not fair!" Kadaj wailed, though he knew Reno hated that word, and he couldn't for the life of him explain what about it wasn't fair. It was Yazoo's ice cream, after all, and Reno could count on him not to gobble down both cups while his back was turned.

"Thin ice," Reno pointed out, and Kadaj shut up. Thin ice usually turned into a stinging whack on the backside, and his bottom was still sore from last night. Grumbling softly to himself, he took his fair share of the bags and dragged them inside, making sure to sigh and wince and show what difficult, back-breaking work it was and how selfless it was of him to do it at all. By the time he made his slow, resistant way through the lobby and up the stairs into the apartment, Reno and Yazoo had already put away most of the other things and were eating their ice cream…Well, _Yazoo_ was eating ice cream and Reno was feeding it to him, a happy, content look on his face.

"You never feed _me_ ice cream," Kadaj grumbled, though it was half-hearted. Reno really looked too happy giving little bites to Yazoo for Kadaj to honestly want to interrupt, he just didn't like being left out of things, and Reno seemed to enjoy Yazoo's company _way_ more than he enjoyed Kadaj's.

"Just put the shit away," Reno said, taking a bite himself while Yazoo licked his lips.

Kadaj slammed things into the fridge and the cabinets, working himself into a temper because he was nervous about going to stupid _school_ tomorrow and vaguely irritated by something he couldn't quite put his finger on. By the time he finished up both Yazoo and Reno had polished off their ice cream without even a dollop left over for Kadaj, though his belly still sloshed with the full cup he'd greedily inhaled before they'd even made it to the car.

Yazoo reheated last night's dinner for an early supper since they'd missed lunch, and Kadaj threw himself into a chair at the dining room table, sighing dramatically and slumping over as if exhausted while he waited for the food to heat.

Reno watched his antics with an arched brow, an amused smirk on his face as he smoked, lounging at the other end of the table with the empty ice cream containers in front of him.

"So ungrateful," he remarked, tapping his ashes into one of the empty cups.

Kadaj glowered at him, pouting.

"What the fuck, brat?" he asked, settling back in his chair. "Somebody with as big a case of the 'I wants' as _you_ got should be a little more thankful, yo."

"Thank you," Kadaj snapped, refusing to look at him.

"Watch out, Kadaj," Yazoo warned, giving him a stern look as he pulled plates out of the cabinet.

Reno was entertained by Kadaj's irritation, and grinned at him, though it was just ornery enough to make the fine hairs on Kadaj's nape lift in apprehension. When Reno crooked a finger at him, the boy's panic alarms started going off, but he went to Reno anyway, making sure to convey how put-out he was at having to get back up.

"Come here," Reno said, patting his thigh, arm at his side to allow Kadaj to sit.

Wary, Kadaj scooted to sit, folding his legs under the table between Reno's own, his head down so that the man couldn't read his expression.

"Whatsa matter, baby?" Reno asked, wrapping his arm around Kadaj's back and lifting his cigarette to take a deep drag. "You got to drive, you got one over on your brother at the store, you got your damned ice cream—why you throwing a tantrum, yo?"

"I'm not!" Kadaj said, and even to _him_ it sounded testy and defensive.

Reno smirked at him again, cocking his head with one eyebrow lifted in sardonic amusement. He stubbed out his smoke and turned Kadaj in his lap a little, holding his slim hips with both hands.

"You still jealous of your brother?"

Kadaj squirmed, flushing.

"Answer me, Kadaj."

"A little," he admitted, and flew right into a hasty explanation. "You like him better than me! You're always touching him and talking to him and keeping him close! You don't let _Yazoo_ go wherever he wants or talk back to you! You always listen when he talks to you and you don't make fun of him for being silly! You even feed him ice cream and take his side for _everything_!"

Kadaj subsided, a little out of breath and suddenly, oddly hurt. He'd been grasping at reasons—anything he could think of—to explain his rotten behavior and had shocked himself with how much those things actually did bother him. He'd been nervous about school and still was, but it would seem that wasn't the only reason he was so upset.

Reno let him take a few breaths to catch up after his rushed babbling and gave Kadaj awhile to start feeling embarrassed of himself before he pulled the boy up tighter to him and smiled, sighing a little in weary patience.

"You feeling left out, baby?" he asked, and Kadaj nodded. "Why do you think I do that with Yazoo?"

"Because you love him," Kadaj said, chastened.

"Fucking right, I do, yo," Reno told him, rocking him a little. "But it ain't just that, Kadaj. You think maybe you're so mad 'cause you think I don't love _you_?"

Kadaj dropped his chin again, too upset to answer. He hadn't worked it all out in his head, but Reno reached right through all of his bad feelings to find the thorn, and yanked it free with his usual easy grace when he said, "Cause I do, Bubble Brain. I love you just as much as I love your brother, and I wanna take care of you like I take care of Yazoo—but he's different, yo. He minds me, he _needs_ to have somebody to tell him what's going on, to hold him a lot and touch him, to make sure he knows somebody cares about him and needs him. He ain't as independent as you, Kadaj—you don't need shit from anybody, you little brat."

Kadaj looked up at him to see if he was teasing, but Reno's soft smile and big blue eyes held no trace of malice, just affection and exasperation.

"You and Yazoo might've started out as one person, baby, but you're different as night and day _now_," Reno went on, catching Kadaj under the chin to tilt his head up and planting a soft kiss on his pouting little lips. "I do what I need to do to keep Yazoo happy and content, and I've been doing the same for you—but you're too caught up in this idea that whatever Yazoo has, you need to take away from him. You don't _need_ to be constantly reassured like he does, baby. But I promise I'll pay a little more attention to you from now on, okay?"

Kadaj blushed with pleasure, the tightness in his chest and his bad mood evaporating. He found himself shyly keeping his eyes downcast, and dissolved into a puddle of goo when Reno brushed his calloused thumb over his mouth and called him a Pretty Baby before kissing him again.

"Now, get up, yo," the man told him, shifting him a little. "Yazoo's got everything ready to eat."

For once Kadaj didn't cause a ruckus. He docilely took his seat across from Yazoo, at Reno's left hand, and kept up a running string of questions to both of them, chatting happily and aglow with delight despite the fact that stupid school loomed on the horizon. And when it came time to do dishes he didn't utter a peep of protest. He just gave Yazoo a smile that made the man look askance at him and did as he was told.


	17. Stupid SCHOOL

Stupid _school_.

Kadaj scowled out of the car window, his little hands nervously clenched on the straps of his backpack. There were kids milling around the common and running back and forth across the street—generally just everywhere being loud and intimidating.

"You're alright, yo," Reno told him, leaning back behind the driver's wheel, a cigarette in one hand and the other on Kadaj's shoulder. "You ready?"

Kadaj turned his head and gave him the Biggest Eyes, an expression of resigned terror on his pretty face.

"Can't I just stay _home_?" he begged.

Reno shook his head, unmovable as stone, but he rubbed Kadaj's shoulder a little, strong fingers stroking his soft skin.

"Look at it this way, baby—school means new clothes," Reno said, tempting him with _things_, which was almost guaranteed to make Kadaj happy, materialist that he was. "Which means a shopping trip for you and your brother. Fuck, we can even bring Loz along—ShinRa's allowance to you guys is just sitting there building up."

But even the temptation of a shopping trip couldn't erase Kadaj's sick fear of kids his own age. He flinched when a gaggle of girls bounced past the front of the car, all of them looking in with cruel, curious eyes before giggling. One of them even winked at Reno, who snorted a little and gave her an absent wave.

"_Please_?!" Kadaj wailed.

Again, Reno shook his head and told him, "Begging only works in bed, yo."

Relenting in the face of Kadaj's obvious distress, Reno pulled him against his side and placed tickly, teasing kisses on his throat until Kadaj laughed, though the sound was partially a sob. The kisses led to a _real_ kiss, Reno holding him tight and thoroughly having his way with Kadaj's mouth until the boy was too overwhelmed to be scared anymore.

"That's better," Reno said, and gave him a push towards the door.

Kadaj reached for the handle, flustered, and scowled when he noticed that a lot of people had stopped and were staring into the car.

"What's wrong with them?" he asked, annoyed.

"They're asking the same thing, yo," Reno said, his fine lips holding a sensual smirk. "Get going, baby—Yazoo will pick you up this afternoon."

Sighing heavily, Kadaj opened the door and stepped out, saying a soft, forlorn little goodbye as he closed the door behind him. Reno waved at him and pulled off. Kadaj stood on the curb and gazed longingly after the car, biting his full lower lip.

"Wow. Was that your boyfriend?"

Kadaj grimaced internally while affixing a haughty smile—he had Yazoo to thank for being a good example. His elder brother had refined the art of bored disdain and snobbish reserve and had always kept it close around him whenever they met people. Kadaj just mimicked his brother and turned to look at the person who had questioned him.

There was a group of four girls standing together staring at him, each of them somehow managing to clutch an armload of books and each other at the same time. They were pretty girls, well dressed (Yazoo would approve) and impeccably groomed—but they looked like they'd just seen a train wreck, or some sort of celebrity. It was alarming how similar those looks were.

Relentlessly containing his screaming nerves, Kadaj reached up in a languid, bored movement and brushed his hair behind his ear, sighing, "No."

With a perverse sense of humor that was strangely like Reno's, he added with a devilish smile, "He's my _dad_."

* * *

"_Yazoo_!"

Kadaj broke away from the knot of teenagers surrounding him and rushed to hug his brother, who was leaning against the car with his usual composed reserve. The older man caught him, startled into soft laughter and flustered by his reaction.

"How was it, Kadaj? You actually look _happy_!" he said, giving the boy an awkward pat and putting a little distance between them, though Kadaj still managed to drape against him like a cat, as was his habit.

"It was great!" the boy gushed, and turned to wave cheerily at the other kids, who waved back. Overflowing with happiness, he flung himself on his brother again and hung around his neck, pressing his face to Yazoo's throat.

"Goodness, you're certainly excitable today," Yazoo remarked, uncomfortably aware that Kadaj's rather sizeable audience was watching them with intense interest. "Come on, are you ready to come home?"

"Yes, Yazoo!" Kadaj chirruped, and planted a kiss on Yazoo's cheek just because he was excited and his brother was so pretty, especially when he blushed.

"Rascal!" Yazoo scolded, but he seemed pleased with Kadaj's affection, and squeezed his hand before moving gracefully around to the driver's seat.

As Kadaj got in, a female voice questioned, "Kadaj! Is _that_ your boyfriend?"

Kadaj giggled, poised with one long leg in the car and rolling his eyes because he and Yazoo _really_ looked alike and _anyone_ could see that but _Trista_ was kinda dumb and _way_ too curious for her own good, so he gleefully yelled, "No, _silly_! He's my _brother_! Duh! I don't _have_ a boyfriend!"

He flopped into the car with an exasperated, happy "tsk" and buckled his seatbelt.

"Well…and you were so worried about going to school," Yazoo said, giving him a soft smile as he eased his way into traffic. Yazoo was an excellent driver, handling the car with the same smooth, absent grace he'd handled his bike and every bit as relaxed as he'd always been on his two-wheeled machine.

Kadaj leaned his head back against the seat and smiled, actually tired out by his day though he'd done little but register for classes, get his schedule set up, and be shown around the campus. It was a pretty nice school. A _private_ school. And the ugly old lady who called herself The Principal had lectured him on what an honor it was to be accepted. She didn't know what Reno had told him, that Rufus Mother-Hater ShinRa had arranged for him to attend…seeing as he'd commissioned the building of the school and supported its expenses, seeing as it _was_ a school that catered to the New and Improved ShinRa Company employees' children, Kadaj guessed the man could put pretty much whoever he wanted to in it. Still, he didn't much like the idea of having to owe the snobbish blond man, and it would put a bit of a damper on his daydreams of knocking Rufus off of tall buildings, this time with no ugly Elena or somber Tseng to catch him…

Yazoo sighed, a blissful expression on his face that prompted Kadaj to ask, "What?"

"Nothing," Yazoo breathed, his smile big and happy and somehow teasing. "I'm just enjoying the _silence_."

Kadaj pouted, then laughed, feeling too good to be cranky.

The drive home refreshed him and by the time Yazoo pulled into the carpark Kadaj was once more chattering away at his brother, who listened politely and murmured in the right places and basically ignored him—not that he was very successful since Kadaj was practically impossible to ignore.

"…and when Reno drove off all of these girls were standing there and they were hanging on each other like they were sisters or something—but they're not, I found out later—and they wanted to know if Reno was my _boyfriend_," Kadaj said, trailing Yazoo in through the lobby and waving at the security guard. "—hi, Frank! So I told them that he was my _dad_ and they all got really funny looks on their faces and it looked like the face that lady made at the grocery store yesterday when I kissed you—" Kadaj bounded up the stairs after Yazoo, who was blushing afresh at the mention of the incident. "—so I said that we're a really close family and they started giggling and don't you think it's kind of _annoying_ the way girls giggle all the time and always go around in big _groups_ instead of just by themselves? And I didn't really know why they thought it was so funny but I figured I'd better start making friends because Reno said that I needed to be around kids my own age—" he pushed past Yazoo when his brother opened the apartment door and immediately tossed his backpack down, never missing at beat. "—_whew_, that was heavy! So I started laughing, too, and they thought it was cute or something so they walked me to see The Principal and she's an ugly old lady with a big mole on her face and when I told her she should have it removed she got really angry at me but the girls laughed about it later and they showed me around and that place is really _big_, Yazoo! I have so many books I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get a backache from carrying that bag all of the time and I want to bring my own lunch because _school_ lunch is just _gross_ and you'd think since Rufus Mother-Hater ShinRa _owns_ it he could afford to let them serve decent _food_ and I don't want to _starve_—"

"Hey, how'd it go?" Reno called, ambling into the hallway as a bemused Yazoo made his way inside, Kadaj at his heels and still talking.

"I don't know," Yazoo said, amused and a little awed by his brother's ability to chatter on endlessly. "He hasn't stopped talking since I parked the car. I don't think he's even _breathing_…"

"What?" Kadaj asked, pausing his excited commentary long enough to gulp a breath. He gave Reno a huge, happy grin and found a new victim to torture. "_Reno_! Oh, you won't _believe_ this—those girls think it's cute to see guys kissing and they kept asking me all these questions about you and I told them that you're my _dad_ and then they just kept in asking me what on _earth_ kind of family I lived with so I told them about how you're God and how Yazoo loves to worship you and now I do, too—"

Reno's eyes danced with amusement and Yazoo took his opportunity to escape and start dinner while his older, patient lover fondly listened to Kadaj's endlessly running mouth.


	18. Saturday

Someone was being absolutely life-wrecking and nudging Kadaj awake.

"Go away," he moaned, burying his face in the pillow. He made a grumpy noise and hunched tighter under the covers when a hand shook him by the shoulder. "God sees what you do, you're going to go to hell if you keep being mean to me."

"Do you seriously tell people that?" Reno's amused, incredulous voice asked.

"No," Kadaj sighed, giving up and rolling over, blearily realizing that he was the only one left in bed. "But I think I'll start…what time is it?"

"Time to get your ass up and eat breakfast, yo," Reno told him, but his abrupt words were softened by his fingertips gently brushing back Kadaj's silver hair. "Yazoo has been cooking for an hour, baby—least you can do is come eat it while it's hot."

Kadaj made a face at him and slumped back face-first into his pillow.

"Come on, brat, don't make me tell you again," Reno chided.

"What kind of breakfast?"

"French toast," Reno said, and laughed when Kadaj shot out of bed, suddenly eager to be up.

"French toast! Why didn't you say something!" he gasped, grabbing up his pj's and yanking them on, eyes wild. "Did he make a lot? You guys haven't started eating yet, have you? Do you think there's enough for me? _What if there's none left_?"

Reno rolled his eyes and left for the kitchen, Kadaj practically tripping over himself in his haste to follow. He darted past the slender man and scooted into his chair, grinning in delight at the plate set out for him—it was mounded with French toast, butter melting off of the crusty golden pieces, syrup dripping and puddling around the edges, and a fine layer of powdered sugar was slowly absorbing the whole of the sticky mess.

"Oh _thank you_, Yazoo!" he said, rapturous at the delicious yummy goodness before him.

Yazoo gave him a soft, indulgent smile and watched him dig in. His brother was never as happy as when he managed to make _others_ happy, and cooking was a special joy of his.

"You're gonna wind up the size of a barn, the way you put that shit away," Reno said, settling down at the head of the table in his usual spot to start in on his own plate. Both his and Yazoo's had only a moderate amount of butter and no syrup or powdered sugar. Kadaj couldn't imagine how they could eat it in such a state.

"It's so _good_!" Kadaj moaned, transported. He washed down bites with the chocolate milk Yazoo had put out for him, ignoring the pair of them watching him eat. Kadaj always ate like someone was going to snatch the plate away from him, and it never ceased to amaze his lovers how fast he could put away a bowl of food—especially if there were sweets involved.

He licked his plate and slumped back in his chair with a sigh, utterly content.

"You done?" Reno asked, kicked back in his chair and enjoying a cigarette while Yazoo cleared away the plates. "You enjoy that, Princess?"

Kadaj could only nod, a satiated smile on his face.

"Good, 'cause we're going for a run, yo."

"_What_?!" Kadaj yelped, horrified, all contentment evaporating. Alarmed, he sat up straight in his chair and gave Reno his best appalled gaze. 'Going for a run' with Reno was pretty much the lowest level on Kadaj's totem pole of fun things to do. Mostly because Reno's idea of a _jog_ was a full-on sprint, and he'd be barely breathing hard while Kadaj and Yazoo were gasping for breath and exhausted. "I don't want to go for a run! _Reno_! That's the _last_ thing I want to do, _ever_! Ew!"

"Ew!" Reno mocked, wrinkling his nose in perfect imitation of Kadaj. "Too bad, pest—you're gonna run since you can't lay off the sweets."

Irked, Kadaj looked from Reno to Yazoo, and spouted a line he'd heard on a detective show just the other night.

"This is a set-up!"

Yazoo covered his mouth and turned away, trying not to let Kadaj know he was giggling. Reno had less compunction about it and burst into laughter.

For an embarrassing moment Kadaj was afraid he'd misunderstood what that statement meant, but a second later his pride kicked in and he glowered at both of the laughing men, assured of his superior use of courtroom jargon.

"It _is_!" he insisted.

Reno wiped the corners of his eyes, restraining his laughter to deep chuckles, and managed to say, "It ain't a set-up, baby. We're going for a run, go change."

Fuming, Kadaj flounced away to his room and angrily changed into his tracksuit, worried now that he might wind up puking out all of that wonderful, tasty French toast. What a waste!

He was bemoaning this thought as he wandered back out into the living room.

Reno and Yazoo had changed and were waiting for him, and from the glower on Reno's face they'd been waiting for some time. They led the way and the boy trailed them, sullen and unhappy.

"It's Saturday," he grumbled, leaning against the wall in mock-exhaustion while Reno locked the door.

"Yep," the man agreed.

"We should watch cartoons! Reno, shouldn't we watch cartoons?" he begged, trotting after the man when he headed for the stairs, Yazoo behind them and tying back his long hair. "I mean, we can always go running _tomorrow_…or _never_. I pick never! Yazoo? Yazoo says never, too! You're outvoted! Let's go watch cartoons!"

"This isn't a fucking democracy," Reno reminded, while Yazoo softly protested that he'd said nothing of the sort.

"Well, maybe we _should_ be a democracy," Kadaj pouted, though he wasn't entirely sure what that meant.

"Nope, we'll keep the dictatorship, yo," Reno said, skimming down the stairs to the lobby. He stopped to drop his keys off with Frank, like always.

Kadaj took the chance to delay the inevitable and engaged Frank in an animated conversation about democracies—trying to let on as little as possible that he had no idea what one was, or why they were so fantastic. When Reno tugged on his sleeve to get his attention, Kadaj gave him the Big Eyes and whimpered, "Please let me watch cartoons?"

Reno rolled his eyes again and asked Frank, "You ever seen a kid like this before?"

"Eight of 'em, all at home right now," Frank laughed, tucking Reno's keys behind the desk.

"Alright, Princess, you wanna get out of running so bad, I guess you can just ride," Reno said.

"Ride?" Kadaj hesitantly asked, and gave Yazoo a bewildered look. But when he opened his mouth to ask how on earth they were going to do _that_ and _run_, Yazoo gave him a death-glare and tightly snapped, "Don't. You._ Dare_!"

That ice cream parlor episode sure had scarred his brother!

Kadaj closed his mouth.

"Yeah, yo—ride," Reno repeated, and Frank, dimpling with delight at being in on the secret, wheeled a brand new bicycle out from the small room that served as an office for the security guards.

Kadaj's eyes nearly popped out of his head, his little mouth falling open in utter shock. He pointed at the shiny new bike (bright blue!) and tried to ask if it was for him but all that came out was a little squeal of joy.

Reno grinned at him and Yazoo laughed, enjoying his obvious surprise.

"There you go, Princess—consider that a prayer answered," Reno told him.

Kadaj flung his arms around Reno's neck and covered his face with wet, excited kisses, happily gasping, "Oh I _knew_ you wouldn't make me go for a stupid _run_, Reno, and I knew you wouldn't forget about my bike because you _never _forget when things are important except for that time you were supposed to pick Rude up from Seventh Heaven and left him there for three hours and he just decided to walk home and somebody tried to mug him but he beat the tar out of them and wound up breaking his sunglasses and got mad at you because if you'd just picked him up like you were supposed to it never would have happened but I don't think you forgot on purpose, Reno, and I know you'd never forget anything about me and Yazoo because you love us so much and it's just the color I was wanting and I'm so _happy_ you answered my prayer and I think you're a really _fantastic_ god and I take back what I said about you letting someone else take over and I hope you didn't think I was serious because I was just playing and I'm _really_ glad you did this and—"

Reno firmly placed his palm over Kadaj's mouth, muffling the boy until he fell silent, looking up at him with naturally Big Eyes full of overjoyed love.

"You breathing?" he asked.

Kadaj nodded, grinning behind Reno's hand.

The man let his palm drop and Kadaj opened his mouth, but Reno warned him, "Don't start!"

Kadaj just gave him a dimpling, impish, utterly disarming smile and cried, "Thank you, Reno!"

Reno laughed a little, a soft sound full of affection and patience. He threw his arm over Yazoo's shoulder and pulled Kadaj into a three-way hug, saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard to ignore such dedicated worship, kid."

Frank beamed at them from behind the security desk, seeing only a man with his grown-up lover and that lover's beloved little brother—one happy little family, nothing strange in the least.

"Now," Reno said, turning Kadaj to look at his waiting bike. "Yazoo and I are going for a run, and _you_ are going to ride alongside us, got it, yo?"

Kadaj nodded emphatically and scrambled to get on his brand new, shiny bike.


	19. Supreme Being

Pedaling happily down the street on his brand new, wonderful, _gorgeous_ bicycle, Kadaj waved at various strangers and preened over their attention, proud of his amazing gift and feeling like _everyone_ should be looking. Reno had been rather against the idea of him riding down to Seventh Heaven, but when the two men had finished their run (Reno panting, Yazoo a gasping, miserable mess) Kadaj hadn't felt like coming home. He'd managed to wrangle permission out of god, but not without Reno telling him with a smirk, "Try to get Tifa to come back with you, yo. I wanna try out her tits."

Kadaj had wrinkled his dainty nose and Yazoo had looked crestfallen, but he hadn't been entirely sure that Reno was being serious, so he'd just nodded and ridden away, forgetting the whole thing within seconds.

When he reached the bar he hopped off of his bike and walked it inside, hollering loudly for his favorite Tifa _ever_.

"Hey, Kadaj! What've you got, there?" Tifa asked, coming out of the bar's cooler. "Wow, what a nice bike!"

"I _know_!" Kadaj squealed, giving it a proud look. "I prayed and prayed to Reno for it and he gave it to me this morning!"

"Wow! _Nice_!" Tifa said, happy for him. She came closer and inspected his bike, nodding her appreciation. "It's really beautiful, Kadaj. Congratulations!"

"Thank you!" Kadaj preened, lovingly stroking the handlebars.

"Here, lean it against the bar and have a seat," Tifa suggested, moving behind the bar to get him some lemonade. "You're all flushed—hot out there, huh?"

"_Yes_!" Kadaj breathed, dramatically slumping against the bar. "Yazoo and Reno went for a run and I followed them on my bike, but I came here when they went home."

"Well, I'm glad you dropped by. I thought you didn't like it here…because of Cloud," Tifa said.

"I wanted to see you," Kadaj chirruped, gulping his lemonade. He really liked Tifa—she'd always been so nice to him, and so loving.

"Aw, that's sweet," she said, genuinely touched. She got herself a glass and sat next to him, asking, "So, what's new?"

"Oh, _tons_ of things!" Kadaj told her, getting excited again. "Tifa, Reno really is _god_! _Really_!"

"Really?" she echoed, smiling at his excitement.

"_Yes_!" Kadaj insisted, nodding with amusing solemnity. He lowered his voice to a whisper, shot a furtive look around, and said, "I _worshipped_."

"You _did_?" Tifa whispered, leaning close, her dark eyes dancing with merriment.

"Yes, and it was _fantastic_!" Kadaj told her, squealing a little. "Wow, Tifa! I can't even _explain_! And I got to sleep in god's magic bed but then Yazoo came home and almost cut my hair but Reno told him no and then he locked himself in the bathroom—"

"Reno?"

"—no, Yazoo," Kadaj corrected, taking the opportunity to snatch a breath. "So then Reno went around to the _other_ bathroom door but it was locked, too, and he yelled that he was going to break it down—"

"Did he?"

"—Yes!" Kadaj said, eyes wide with remembered drama. "A man is going to come fix it on Monday but while Reno was beating in the door Yazoo came out and they fought and then Reno left and then _Yazoo_ left—"

"And where were you during all of this?" Tifa asked, snacking on some jarred cherries she kept behind the bar.

"On the bed," Kadaj answered. "Crying. But Reno always says he'll _never_ let Yazoo go and it makes my toes curl when he says stuff like that and I wish he'd say things like that about _me_ and so he went out and brought Yazoo back because he's god and he knew just where he went and they made up and now everything is _wonderful_!"

Tifa laughed at his recitation, fondly watching him catch his breath.

"He's really good to you guys, isn't he?" she murmured.

Kadaj nodded, grinning, and sighed, "He says we're his babies and that he loves us more than anything _ever_…he's _really_ good to us, Tifa!"

She gave his hand a squeeze and said, "Good! I'm glad. It's nice to see people be good to one another…"

Her pretty, round face fell into troubled repose and Kadaj offered, "I like you, Tifa. Reno does, too!"

She smiled at him, shaking off that strange sadness, and said, "Thanks, Kadaj. I like you, too. Now, what else has been going on?"

Kadaj immediately plunged into a gripping, breathless, and pause-free recounting of his life to date since the last time he'd been at Seventh Heaven while Tifa listened with interest and patience. It was one of the many things Kadaj adored about her—she treated him like a grown-up.

"Wow, sounds like you had a busy week," she remarked, getting up to refill their glasses.

"I _did_!" Kadaj sighed, but he was still grinning. "I'm still not sure about this _school_ thing, but Reno wants me to try, so I will."

"You'll like school, Kadaj," Tifa assured him. "Especially at one as nice as _that_ one."

"Tifa?" Kadaj suddenly said, brows drawn. "Please don't tell _niisan_ that I worshipped Reno. He'd be all mad and I don't want that."

"Your secret is safe with me," Tifa told him. "As long as you're happy."

"_Very_," Kadaj told her. "I wouldn't want anything to change, Tifa! And it's neat living with god—"

"He isn't _god_!"

Kadaj and Tifa both jumped at the harsh bark of Cloud's voice as he came striding in from outside.

Kadaj gave him the calm, implacable look of one utterly convinced of their own position and stuck his nose in the air like Yazoo always did.

"I'm not speaking to a grumpy-pants, Cloud," he told him, and took a haughty sip of his lemonade.

Tifa laughed softly and ruffled his hair, saying, "That's Cloud for you!"

As if to confirm that he was, indeed, a grumpy-pants, Cloud scowled at them both and came up to the bar to give Kadaj a suspicious look.

"What are those marks on your neck?" he demanded to know.

Kadaj had no idea that there was _anything_ on his neck except for _marvelously_ gorgeous skin. Eyes rounding in horror, he skimmed his fingers over his throat and asked, "Marks? What marks? Oh _no_! Are they _ugly_?"

"They look like hickeys!" Cloud snapped, pushing his little brother's hand down to peer at his neck.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Cloud," Tifa said, rolling her eyes. Her patience, so seemingly limitless, had worn thin where Cloud was concerned. "You know that he and Yazoo always pinch the living daylights out of each other!"

It wasn't an outright lie and Kadaj said nothing to support it, but Cloud dropped the issue and Kadaj said a silent prayer of thanks for Tifa and her bottom-rescuing distractions. The boy's prayer made him think of god, which led to remembering Reno's sharp teeth and wet mouth on one side of his slender neck, Yazoo's own on the other. He shuddered at the memory. Last night had been _awesome_…

"Why do you look so happy all of a sudden?"

Kadaj gave Cloud a bashful smile and weakly said, "It's just good to see you, _niisan_."

Cloud gave him another serious, humorless frown and said nothing.

From the moment of their return Cloud had furiously and adamantly denied his relationship with the three boys, doing everything in his power to limit his exposure to any of them. Kadaj, the impetuous baby, had done his best to make up to Cloud and win him over. His _niisan_, who flatly refused to take any responsibility for the trio, had crumbled into an odd mixture of distaste and overprotective zeal. When he wasn't snobbishly reminding Kadaj that he wanted _nothing_ to do with him, he was single-mindedly lecturing the boy on safety and caution with a tenacity that rivaled a bull-dog's.

It drove Kadaj bananas.

"Don't _scowl_, Cloud," the boy scolded, changing the subject. "It gives you funny wrinkles between your eyes."

Tifa giggled and got Cloud a cup of lemonade.

"Kadaj, you really need to get this idea out of your head," Cloud told him, deigning to sit next to him. He sat stiffly, uncomfortable to be near his little brother. "Reno is many things—a murderous, heartless monster, maybe, but no _god_."

"What an awful thing to say!" Kadaj cried, horrified. "_You _tell _me_, then, Cloud! How is Reno _not_ god?"

"Well…for one thing, he's not immortal," Cloud said, with the air of one imparting great wisdom.

"Really? How old is he then?" Kadaj asked, brows raised.

Cloud began to answer and then paused, frowning a little because he'd never really known how old Reno was.

"Well, he isn't much older than me," he finally said.

"Alright," Kadaj conceded, nodding a little. "Then when was he born?"

Cloud scowled at him.

"Kadaj, Reno _isn't_ god!" he said again, more emphatically as he was getting frustrated. "Fine! Does he make miracles?"

"Cloud," Kadaj said, his tone severe. "_Everyone_ knows that there's no such thing as _miracles_. Honestly!"

That earned him a skeptical look, considering that a miracle had brought Kadaj and his brothers back from death…but it was futile to point _that_ out. Cloud knew how stubborn Kadaj could be.

"Kadaj," Cloud said, trying his best to be patient. "God is…god is a supreme being who loves _everyone_—not just pretty people! God takes care of people and answers their prayers! He isn't an oversexed _drunk_ who kills people for a living—how can I make it more clear to you? _Reno isn't god_!"

Kadaj frowned thoughtfully. A supreme being who loves everyone? Well…Reno was sort of known for his sizeable indulgence in sex, and he always said that beauty was in the eye of the beholder—explaining why he'd sleep with pretty much anyone who wanted to. Yeah, he liked pretty people more, but that didn't stop him from wooing and seducing even icky people, or flirting with people who had probably given up hope of ever being loved. He answered Kadaj's prayers, he took care of him and his brothers…

Eventually, he slowly said, "Cloud, Reno _does_ love everyone, he just likes pretty people a little more. And he takes care of me, Yazoo, and Loz! And as far as answering prayers…well, every time Yazoo prays for a kiss or to go worship, Reno grants it…So, you're right! God _is_ a supreme being! He's the best being in the world!"

Cloud dropped his head into his hand, exasperated to realize that there really was no talking Kadaj out of his notion.

"And Reno even loves _you_," Kadaj generously added. "Buuuuuut, he _did_ say that if I could bring Tifa back, it would be appreciated."

One of Tifa's elegantly arched brows rose, her expression curious.

Cloud scowled at her and snapped, "Absolutely _not_!"

"Oh, don't be so paranoid, Cloud," she laughed. "I have no intentions of taking him up on it."

But she winked at Kadaj when Cloud looked away, and the boy dimpled up in a smile, deliriously happy to be included.


	20. Reassurance!

Kadaj left shortly after Cloud arrived. Tifa was right, he really only could take his _niisan_ in small doses. By bike it was even faster to get home, he didn't even break another icky sweat. He left his precious bike with Frank after some cajoling on the security guard's part—he wanted to drag it up the stairs into the apartment but Reno had foreseen this and had left strict orders that the bike was to stay locked up at the desk. There was even a nice new wire with a shiny lock, and Kadaj put the key carefully into his pocket, checking it obsessively on his way up the stairs as if he might lose it between the desk and his room.

The apartment was quiet when he got back, and the boy hurried to put his key away in his desk along with his other treasures—a colorful chocobo feather that he'd found on a walk one day with Loz, a prism of fused glass thrown off from the meteor-scare, his passbook that gave him citizen rights, and a few trinkets that Reno had brought him from various corners of the globe while on missions.

He showered quickly and changed into his favorite jeans and a skinny tee-shirt that Reno forbid him to wear outside of the apartment. It was blindingly green with the word "Princess" written across it in glittery pink letters. Reno had gotten it for him as a joke and Kadaj had worn it with determined spite, but it was really comfortable and soft so it quickly became his favorite, even if it did cling like a second skin.

He padded to their bedroom, wondering if they'd gone off on some adventure without him and ready to pitch a fit if they had…or else go through every nook and cranny of their bedroom just to satisfy his curiosity and irritate Reno and _then _pitch a fit, which would serve him right. He should _never_ leave Kadaj out of _anything_.

He heard a small noise from the other side of the door, though, and figured they'd be worshipping, so he opened it softly and let himself in.

"_Yazoo!_ Oh my gosh!"

He stopped in the doorway in stunned shock, heart thudding because his brother was bound to the bed, gagged. It was so unexpected that Kadaj nearly panicked, but Reno was sitting at the foot of the bed smoking in calm silence, so Kadaj transferred his shocked and unsure gaze to god.

"Is he okay?" Kadaj asked, nervously shutting the door behind him.

"He's fine, yo," Reno murmured, sighing out a cloud of smoke. "He got a little uppity in the shower and I had to give him an attitude adjustment…"

He turned his head and twisted his lean body a little to give Yazoo a smirk.

"Ain't that right, baby?" he asked, and gave him a hard slap to his exposed, straining cock.

Yazoo's eyes rolled up and his body pulled taut in a long, liquid shudder before subsiding bonelessly against the mattress.

Kadaj winced, but Yazoo seemed to appreciate the rough treatment—his pretty erection seemed to swell even more, stiff against his belly.

The boy came closer a little hesitantly, not wanting Reno to take the notion of doing such a thing to _him_. Yazoo's bright jade eyes were languid and hazy, full of something utterly content. Kadaj knew his brother reveled in Reno's dominance, and would even deliberately piss him off sometimes, but he'd never seen him so lost inside himself, so vulnerably laid out.

Kadaj passed a hand in front of Yazoo's eyes, trying to ignore the leather cuffs that clipped him to the headboard and the ball-gag that forced his mouth wide. There was no flicker of recognition, no awareness. Yazoo was somewhere else, and it was a place Kadaj had no intentions of going.

"Are you sure he's okay?" he asked, retreating a safe distance from both of them. His brother's wrists were cuffed together and fastened to the headboard above his head. His ankles were bound separately, his legs spread wide. The boy couldn't deny that it was an enticing picture, but it made him nervous because he didn't understand it.

"Yeah, he gets like this sometimes," Reno told him, smashing out his cigarette and handing the ashtray to Kadaj, gesturing for him to put it on the dresser. "He'll just punch my buttons, yo. Does it on purpose, the little fuck. As if he needs to."

He turned and gave Yazoo another long, amused look and said, "Daddy always knows when his baby needs some reassurance."

Kadaj put the ashtray down and cast another dubious glance at the weird scene. If this was reassurance, he'd keep his doubts. Those cuffs would leave bruises, and the gag made Yazoo drool. Kadaj thought that was icky, and never wanted that to happen to him.

"Don't worry," Reno told him, chuckling, reading his thoughts from the look on his face. "You need hugs and kisses, Yazoo needs to be worked over—reminds him that he belongs to me, that I love him."

"That's just weird," Kadaj decided, frowning.

"Nah, baby, not weird," Reno told him. "It is what it is. He gets a little insecure, I squeeze down on him. Makes him feel safe."

Kadaj had a pretty good idea of what had made Yazoo feel insecure. He hadn't missed his brother's utterly lost expression when Reno made his off-hand comment about Tifa's generous assets.

"You have fun at Seventh Heaven?" Reno asked, his blue eyes lifting to meet Kadaj's. He seemed to have forgotten his request, or else he didn't care about it enough to pursue it.

Kadaj nodded, his morbidly curious gaze still roving over his brother's bound body. It was immensely distracting, especially since Yazoo was painfully hard and kept making soft, fretful little wriggles that Reno ignored. Still, the sight of his gorgeous brother so helpless and alluring was strangely compelling, and Kadaj blushed a little to find himself liking it.

"Come here, baby, let me hold you a second," Reno told him, straightening from leaning his elbows on his knees so that Kadaj could scoot into his lap. Reno snuggled the boy's bottom tightly to his groin and made a soft, satisfied sound before saying, "You and that fucking shirt."

"I like this shirt!" Kadaj told him, offended.

"It's for _girls_," Reno told him.

"So?" Kadaj countered. "What do _I_ care? It even has my name on it!"

Reno tilted his head to the side at this statement and gave in with a soft sigh. There really was no countering _that_, and he'd bought the shirt for Kadaj in the first place, after all.

"You look a little freaked out, have a go-round with Cloud, yo?"

Kadaj gave him a skeptical look and said, "Reno, my brother is gagged and _drooling_—_gross_!—and locked to your bed…just because _you_ don't think that's weird doesn't mean that _I _don't."

Reno laughed a little and leaned back again, Kadaj rocking in his lap with his movement as he reached back and gave Yazoo another hard slap that sent his slender body into shuddering spasms, muffled noises escaping that gag.

"This is nothing, yo," Reno told him, sitting back up to kiss Kadaj's throat and give him a sharp nip. "I know you had a Cloud-style run-in 'cause you always get that same cute look on your angel face—all pouty and pissed. What'd he say to you, yo? You spill about being fucked?"

"He told me I had _hickeys_," Kadaj informed him, put out about it again. He'd almost forgotten that he had icky _marks_ on his pretty throat, and recalling their presence made him a little miffed at Reno since he'd done the majority of neck-biting last night. "He tried to convince me that you're _not_ god, and he got mad when I invited Tifa over…"

Reno waited, surprisingly patient.

Kadaj squirmed in discomfort before lowly confessing, "_Alright_, I told _Tifa_. But she really doesn't care, Reno! She said she's just glad you're so good to us and that _everyone_ should be good to people and that it was _nice_ to be good and she looked so sad that I told her _I_ liked her and so did _you_ and she winked at me when I said you wanted her to come over so—"

"Cloud will flip his shit, baby," Reno cut him off, tucking Kadaj's silver hair behind his ears. "I ain't scared of Old Master Blades, but I don't want him taking it out on my little Princess, yo. You keep the cat in the bag, Kadaj."

Kadaj frowned and cocked his head, unsure of his meaning.

"Reno," he slowly said, a little alarmed. "We don't _have_ a cat…do we? Do we have a _cat_? Has it been in a bag this whole time?! _Reno_! That's _awful_! You can't keep a cat locked up in a _bag_, that's just _cruel_!"

Reno chuckled and nuzzled his nose against Kadaj's temple, breathing, "It's an _expression_, Kadaj. Write it in that notebook Yazoo got you."

"Oh!" Kadaj sighed, relieved to know that there was no captive, piteous cat stashed somewhere in the apartment. What a shock _that_ would've been, coming upon a poor little cat in such a state! Kadaj probably would've fainted dead away! What an awful—

"Bubble brain," Reno called him, and lifted the boy out of his lap, interrupting his thoughts. "Hang on, I gotta take care of my baby."

"Should I go?" Kadaj asked, not sure if he was allowed to see it…or if he even _wanted_ to. Yazoo had an appetite for violence and Reno always seemed more than able to oblige. Even within the confines of Reno's carefully constructed rules, it still bothered Kadaj, but he tried very hard not to let his lovers know it.

Reno shrugged as if it didn't matter, idly scratching his eyebrow. He was thoughtfully considering Yazoo's body, sweeping eyes taking in his pale, perfect skin and his frighteningly hungry expression.

"You can stay, yo," he absently said, reaching down to brush his fingers over Yazoo's cheek. His lover's eyes swept closed, spilling hot tears that made Reno coo at him, tenderly brushing them away. When Yazoo's eyes opened again they shined just as brightly with joy as with tears, and Kadaj realized that they weren't sad-tears at all. Once again he had the unexplainable feeling that Reno's connection to Yazoo was too deep and complex for him to ever understand. Still, if anyone ever looked at _him_ the way that Yazoo was looking at Reno, he would be one _very_ loved individual…

Reno sat down on the bed next to Yazoo, still stroking his face.

"You calmed down, baby? You gonna be a good boy for daddy?"

Yazoo nodded, almost _glowing_ with the force of his love.

The man shifted to his feet again and whipped his shirt and pants off with easy, unconscious grace.

Kadaj was momentarily breathless, still rather prone to being both shocked and fascinated by Reno's bare body. He was nothing short of perfection, so lean and tightly muscled, so graceful and so powerful…He gave Kadaj the shivers, and the boy hugged himself in silence, willingly staying in the background because—as much as he loved worshipping—this bitter penance seemed too much for his happy little heart to bear.

Reno didn't spare him a glance and Yazoo had eyes only for his older lover. The man didn't unbind him, didn't remove that gag. He moved over Yazoo's straining body like a lithe white shadow, tickling his mouth up Yazoo's side to his throat to plant a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Had enough foreplay, Yazoo?" he asked, pulling on his bound wrists as if the very shackles themselves were some kind of love-play to Yazoo.

The slim man arched beneath him, chest heaving with his silent breaths.

Reno smirked, saying, "That's what I thought."

He leaned down and pushed his fingers into his lover.

Yazoo squirmed, making desperate, muffled noises.

"Still slick," Reno absently noted, and twisted lithely to unhook the heavy clips that held Yazoo's ankles to the bed. He pulled the young man's hips up and pushed slowly inside of him.

Yazoo's eyes rolled in delight and he started to writhe, frantic cries bottled up by that gag, his pretty cock bouncing hard in a spasm.

Reno laughed and pushed deeper, letting Yazoo's legs clench tight around his hips. He gripped Yazoo's own slender hips with both hands and arched into him, somehow fitting the amazing size of his cock into Yazoo's delicate and perfect backside. It was a feat that never failed to both amaze and arouse Kadaj, and he found himself silently apologizing to Cloud—there _were_ miracles! Because if there _weren't_, Reno wouldn't be getting his cock into _anyone_.

Yazoo wriggled on him in frantic need, shuddering.

"Oh, no," Reno said in answer to his desperate, pleading look. "No way, it's gonna be _my_ cock that makes you cum, pretty baby. You're gonna pop like a cork because your daddy is ball deep inside you and you fucking _love_ it. I ain't touching that pretty cock of yours, baby—you're gonna blow your load all over yourself because your daddy is fucking you, just like my little baby needs…"

Yazoo made a low, whining sound in his throat, his hands clenched into fists and his back arching hard. He rocked himself on Reno's cock, trying to force him to move faster, to go deeper, to do it harder. Reno shoved deep but he didn't change his slow, steady pace.

"My pretty baby wants it rough and fast, huh?" he breathed, his breath coming in ragged, broken pants. He groaned a little, sliding out and sinking deep, the tendons in his throat working as he swallowed. "Well, _daddy_ wants it slow and deep, and that's what my baby's gonna get, and that's what my baby's gonna _want_, 'cause he loves his daddy, doesn't he?"

Yazoo was in a frenzy of pleasure, twisting and bucking, trying like mad to get Reno to react with his usual rough force.

"Nice and slow and deep, right baby?"

Yazoo shuddered hard, surrendering utterly, his tight body suddenly compliant, gracefully conceding to Reno's dominance.

"That's my good boy," Reno breathed, moaning a little as he sank deep. "Such a good little boy, and I love my baby so much—more than anything. So, just for my pretty angel, I'm gonna cum quick. You want that baby? You want daddy to get you off and cum deep inside you? You want it quick?"

Yazoo moaned another response lost in that gag, his jade eyes hazy with pleasure, his body wracked by ceaseless shudders.

"I know," Reno crooned, his voice gentle. "You're gonna cum just 'cause I'm fucking you, 'cause you love it, don't you? You love feeling me up inside you, don't you, baby? Show me, Yazoo—show me how much you love it."

Yazoo made a strangled, pained sound and his body whipped up hard in a spasm of muscle. His harsh, muffled sobs were loud despite the gag, as frantic as the pulsing spasm of his cock when it erupted with hard twitches, spurting yucky-gross up his belly with such force that some of it landed on his chest.

"Oh _yeah_," Reno moaned, still thrusting slow and deep. "Holy _fuck_, baby, that's it. Cum for daddy! A nice, hard cum for me. _Fuck_, Yazoo, you're so fucking _tight_! Aw _fuck_, baby!"

He didn't pull taut into an orgasm, he _rode_ it, still thrusting slowly into Yazoo's body, letting it wash over him in slow and delicious waves that Kadaj could almost taste. His deep, throaty groans were eloquent of pleasure as he kept it up, sinking ball-deep with each slow thrust.

"Fuck, Yazoo, you're the only one," he moaned, holding his lover's shuddering body with gentle hands. "You're the only one who can do this to me, baby. _Fuck_, I love you, Yazoo…"

He eventually slowed to a stop and slumped forward, his hands loose on Yazoo's hips, his head bent forward, occasional shivers running down his strong back. Yazoo was weeping, overwhelmed by what he'd felt, his slender body shuddering hard.

Kadaj watched with wide eyes, not even noticing his own hard body, too awed by what he'd just seen. It hadn't been violent, or even cruel, as he'd feared it might be—it had been amazingly _powerful_, another one of Reno's games with Yazoo. The whole incredible ordeal had left Kadaj breathless and aroused, yet wonderfully ecstatic somehow.

Reno leaned up to unhook Yazoo's wrists before gently removing the gag.

Yazoo sighed in relief and popped his jaw, working his mouth a little to get the ache out, wiping his drool off of his face and making a little grossed-out face at it that Kadaj found too cute. He immediately made plans to practice it himself—_cute_ looks were always good to have in one's repertoire.

"You okay, baby?" Reno asked, chucking Yazoo under the chin. Kadaj had a feeling he meant something other than the worshipping just now. Was he okay from his fears, maybe? Was he fully reassured?

Yazoo gave him a smile that would give the sun a run for its money and shyly nodded.

Apparently, Reno hadn't forgotten about Kadaj. He turned his head to look at the boy and grinned at him, saying, "Get over here, my little pink Princess. You look ready to bolt!"

Kadaj grinned back at him and launched himself at the bed, falling into a tumble next to Yazoo and wriggling up close to his brother to give him little kisses.

"Stop that!" Yazoo teased, and feigned fending him off. "You stop that, Kadaj!"

Reno grinned at them both and told Yazoo, "Play with the little guy for awhile, I'm gonna go get cleaned up."

Yazoo gave him a concerned look, but Reno only shook his head and said, "No sense in it—two minutes of watching you two play together and I'll just be right back inside you. Save the shower for later, yo, and we'll all take a bath together."

Kadaj cried a happy little shout for the bathtub (he'd been _dying_ to play in that huge tub and Reno _always_ said no) and giggled when Yazoo reached for him.

Worshipping sure was _fun_!


	21. Playing With Pigs

Kadaj really thought that life was actually pretty good.

He had his new bike, which was a beautiful and envy-provoking machine of genius physics, and he had two grown-up men who loved him to bits even if they did get a little impatient with him sometimes, especially when he followed them around the apartment or poked his cold nose against their pretty throats or any of the millions of other things he did to get attention. And school, too, was interesting.

He'd made fast friends with the four girls who'd talked to him on his first day, and they all were so interesting and fun that Kadaj couldn't ask for more. They called themselves the Fabulous Four and Kadaj had regally informed both Yazoo and Reno that his friends were important enough to merit their own title. Reno had told him he was looking pretty gangsta' and Yazoo had dissolved into giggles, leaving the boy rather bewildered but unwilling to ask. From what he could gather, Reno seemed to believe that the Fabulous Four were actually some type of _gang_, and _that_ was just _ridiculous_.

So everything was going really well for him.

But it was _bound_ to end sometime!

"I know who you are."

Kadaj closed his locker to find a rather large, brutish boy staring holes through him, a nasty look on his face. He had small, beady eyes and a dim look about him that caused Kadaj to think of an oversized pig all dressed up in clothes. It was a funny thought, and he laughed a little at the idea of it.

"What're you laughing about, you goddamned fairy?" the pig-boy demanded, scowling. "I said that I know who you are!"

"Well, that's nice," Kadaj told him, privately thinking that _everyone_ should know who he was and if they didn't, they'd better ask somebody.

"You're that psycho shit who resurrected Sephiroth," the boy said, and his ugly growl attracted attention, not all of it positive.

"Reincarnated is a better word," Kadaj corrected, wishing he would leave. Kadaj did _not_ associate with porcine people. Reno had told him once that lying down with dogs would give you fleas, and he was pretty sure that hanging out with pig-people would give you _brucellosis_ like he'd read about in Science Class.

"Well?" he demanded. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

The angry and ugly young man was staring at him, nostrils flaring, sweat coursing rivulets over the volcanic eruptions on his cheeks and forehead. Kadaj wrinkled his nose at it, grossed out, and had _this_ to say for himself, "I wash my face three times a day, which is why it isn't all icky like yours. You should try it."

Deciding he'd put himself at enough risk for catching pig-borne diseases, Kadaj gathered his books in his arms and moved to head down the hallway.

The boy slapped his books down, scattering them all over the floor, and loomed closer, dwarfing Kadaj. He was too shocked at the young man's violence to be scared, and wouldn't have been in any case. Kadaj had kicked too many asses in his day to be scared of a talking piece of pork.

"If Cloud Strife hadn't whipped the shit out of you, this whole planet would be dust," the boy shouted, veins bulging in his forehead.

Kadaj smirked and said, "Well, Reno says you can't win them all. And don't talk about my _niisan_."

"What the fuck did you say?" the boy asked, face reddening. Several of Kadaj's friends gathered, ready to step in if things got ugly—the Fabulous Four made a semi-circle at his back, scowls on their pretty faces. "_Am I the only person who cares about this_? You're a fucking _psycho killer_! You should be _dead_ not _going to school_!"

Kadaj wrinkled his nose and covered it with his hand, suggesting, "You should be flossing, you know. Food gets stuck in your teeth and it makes your breath smell bad. I have some mints—"

The boy took a swing at him and Kadaj reacted more from instinct than ill intentions. He ducked it—it was clumsy and ill-executed, not hard to dodge at all—and laughed in surprise.

"What are you doing? You don't stand a chance with me!" he pointed out, and even without his beloved _souba_ he felt secure in his ability to fight. "Just go away! No one wants to hear you yell…or smell your icky breath. You know, there's face wash just for acne. I'm not sure what it's called since _I _don't have to use it but you can check at the store. I'm sure the clerk knows—"

Snarling in rage, the boy came at him again, only managing to plant his fist in the metal lockers. One of the kids raced down the hallway screaming for a grown-up, and Kadaj just laughed again, thoroughly bewildered, saying, "Don't be so ungrateful, I'm just trying to help! You don't have to get all worked up—"

"You're a psycho goddamned _faggot_ and I'm gonna kick your skinny _ass_!"

Kadaj scowled.

If there was one thing about him that people were _absolutely_ not allowed to talk about in any bad sort of way, it was his _bottom_.

One did not mock _perfection_.

"How dare you!" he gasped, affronted, and reached back on him like a bitch (as Reno always called it) because he felt the dumb brute didn't deserve any better. "You take that back! My ass is not _skinny_!"

Astounded that he'd been slapped like a common street whore by a trumped up, insane catamite, the boy lunged at Kadaj, who moved lightly out of his way and smacked him in the back of his huge head, insisting, "You take that back!"

Growing angrier as the tussle progressed, the kid swung around to grab him and got another sharp slap.

"Yeah, you've got a skinny ass!" he snarled, trying for a mean grin. "And you're _ugly_ to boot!"

"Well, I've had enough of this," Kadaj announced, and gathered his books up, more than a little annoyed. "You're a very rude person. Your dad should spank you. And shame on you for saying those ugly lies about me! You know good and well that my bottom is flawless! And I was just trying to help you not look so icky."

Sticking his nose in the air like Yazoo always did (it felt good to be snobbish, and he decided he would do it a lot more often), Kadaj turned to make a grand exit stage left.

Not about to let Kadaj out of his sites _now_, the boy came for him with a bullish roar.

The Fabulous Four didn't need to scream their warnings. For all of his indolence since returning, Kadaj still retained every reflex and instinct he'd had before. He turned to meet the charging boy, put the whole force of his slender body behind his raised fist and stiff arm, and let it fly.

Between the thrust of Kadaj's rather tightly strung muscles and his own forward momentum, the kid collapsed on the floor with his nose spraying blood, out cold.

"Honestly," Kadaj said, straightening and hefting his books more securely under one arm to examine the hand he'd punched with. He made a soft "tsk" when he uncurled his fingers, and gave the unconscious kid a severe glare. "Now look what you've done! I only just got a manicure last night, you awful creature! You made me break a nail!"

Furious at the loss, Kadaj aimed a swift, hard kick at the downed boy's middle and smirked at the low grunt it brought.

"Serves you right," he said, and flounced down the hallway with his entourage in tow, giggling.

* * *

A few hours later he found himself being sternly talked to by the ugly Principal Lady with the huge mole on her face. He wasn't entirely sure he followed her logic, somehow she'd managed to come to the conclusion that _Kadaj_ had started the fight. When he insisted that he'd only _finished_ it, she still didn't look all that pleased with him. Apparently, breaking a student's nose was against the rules, and when Kadaj asked about it she said that yes, it went for icky porcine people who were rude, too. _All_ students.

That made Kadaj a little disgruntled. Apparently, one could be as irritating, obnoxious, and _ugly_ as one liked and no one could do anything about it. He found the thought disturbing, and silently swore to himself that he didn't care what old Principal Lady said, the next person who insulted his backside was getting a punch to the bracket, same as Bacon Boy.

She made him go sit just outside her office, something Kadaj saw no point in since she left her door open and he could both see and hear inside. In fact, she kept up that steady, disapproving glare the entire time she thumbed through his file and only interrupted it to dial her telephone.

"Good afternoon, this is Mrs. Koch from the ShinRa Consolidated Edge Community High School—may I speak with the guardian of Kadaj Jenova?"

Kadaj rolled his eyes at his supposed "last name." _Jenova_ had been Reno's idea—he refused to tell Kadaj his own last name and let him use _it_, and it drove the boy to distraction because _Yazoo_ knew and wouldn't tell him and any time Reno was undressing Kadaj tried to get into his wallet and grab his ID but the man never let him get away with it. He couldn't even intercept any _mail_ because Reno had it all sent to the ShinRa building and no one in the apartment complex seemed to know—he was a rock star, no last name. But then, _lots _of people didn't have last names, like Sephiroth himself—

"I suggest you think long and hard about what you've done, young man," the Principal Lady said as she hung up the phone, interrupting his thoughts. Kadaj, irritated to be so distracted, managed not to glare at her. He gave her the Big Eyes and a solemn nod to get her off of his back, and went back to thinking about last names, wondering which one would suit _Reno_. It didn't occur to him to worry about who would pick him up or come deal with the situation. The only contact number for his "guardian" was the Turks' office, and they never answered the phone with an announcement of who they were. Kadaj knew because he'd called a few times to ask Reno about stuff in the apartment. The first time someone had answered the phone with, "This is Julie, can I help you?" and the second time it had been Rude, who'd just said, "What?"

"And you can stop that giggling right now, you wretched child!" the Principal snapped, seeing him smile. "I can assure you that you are very nearly on the verge of being barred from this distinguished institution! A little introspection would serve you well!"

Institution? Those were for _crazy_ people! Did they keep crazy people at _school_? Kadaj had never been down to the basement…maybe there were cells down there with "banana brains" in them! Maybe kids like Kadaj went crazy from dealing with people like The Principal and Pork Boy and got _stuck down there_…Then again, maybe he was watching too many horror movies with Reno. _Introspection_—that was a fun word! He dug in his backpack and wrote it out on his List of Words to Look Up, which Yazoo had amended in his graceful, flowing script with the subtitle: _And Not Write On Yazoo's Grocery List_.

It seemed like _forever_ before anyone showed up, and Kadaj was getting rather bored of it all. He'd finished his math homework and had nothing to read except for his History book and if _that_ wasn't boring he didn't know what was!

He'd no sooner started to work up a complaint than he heard a familiar, easy gait echoing down the hallway. Craning his neck, he grinned in delight to see Reno strolling along like he hadn't a care in the world, one hand shoved deep in his pocket and the other idly twirling his mag-rod. He pressed his slender finger to his lips when he saw Kadaj grin, and fixed an inscrutable, _scary_ look on his face as he turned the corner into the short hallway where the boy was sitting.

He rapped the doorframe with his mag-rod and announced, "I'm here for Kadaj."

Without waiting for an invitation, he went to stand before her desk, and Kadaj was immediately interested in the way his whole demeanor changed—gone was the playful, ornery man who could sometimes be so cold. In his place was the TURK Reno, smoothly charming and rather frightening with a barely concealed violence lurking beneath the surface. Kadaj suppressed a shudder, not sure if he liked it or not, but certainly amazed by it.

"And you are?"

"Friend of the family," Reno replied, giving her a smile that Kadaj had personally seen melt women far colder. The man leaned against the desk on one hand, his body cocked just a little, forming a lithe, slender line of sleek black interrupted by the stark white of his half open dress shirt.

"ID, please," the crabby lady asked, though she did seem less irate. She held out her lined palm and Reno handed her his ID, not minding the brush of his fingers on her icky old skin. The woman looked at it and said with sudden warmth, "A TURK, sir? Well, I beg your pardon, I had no idea the boy here had such affiliations."

"He's a special project of the President's," Reno answered, taking his ID back and stuffing it in his pocket. He gave her another smooth smile, his dancing eyes wide and actually rather heated. The way Reno was leaning on the desk, it looked like he was going to kiss her or was at least thinking about it, and the crabby Principal woman was blushing like she was sixteen instead of sixty. "Think we can give it another go, ma'am?"

"Oh, I don't see why not," she said, tittering and fanning herself as Reno straightened, still looking at her like he was starving and she was some kind of buffet.

Kadaj was impressed. He always appreciated new and improved ways to get the things his little heart desired, and Reno's seemed to be pretty effective. Kadaj had never seen him use the full force of his charm on anyone before—he never really had to—but in less than five minutes he'd turned the icy, formidable Principal into a giggling, blushing mess and Kadaj was thoroughly dazzled.

"Alright, young man," the gross old woman said, smiling at him with renewed warmth, still fanning herself slightly when Reno came to stand next to her, his shoulder brushing hers. "You can come back, but no more misbehaving, do you understand?"

"Not to worry, I'll straighten him out when we get home," Reno said, giving Kadaj a look that made him shiver with dread. "Come on, kid—let's get outta here."

Kadaj shot to his feet and grabbed his backpack, chastened into silence but largely unrepentant. As they left the office, Reno waved back at the old lady before slinging his arm over Kadaj's shoulders and breathing into his ear, "The shit I do for that sweet ass of yours, baby."

Kadaj giggled a little, relieved that he wasn't really angry, and leaned into him as they headed for the car.


	22. Dinner and Horses

This is in honor of Ponderosa 121's awesomely sexy photoshop picture of Reno's mugshot! Without it, I would have no desktop background...

* * *

"I just want to say, this is _not_ my idea."

Kadaj and Yazoo looked up at Reno, watching him pace in front of the couch where he'd sat them just moments before.

Kadaj was actually starting to get worried, and when Yazoo groped for his hand he was more than happy to lace his fingers with his brother's.

"So, Rufus decided today that since there's been some…_issues_ getting the three of you all domesticated and shit—"

"Oh! Oh! _Yazoo_ is domesticated!" Kadaj piped up, pleased to have something to contribute. "I saw it on the history channel how people who cook and clean and take care of the house are called domesticated—"

"Those are _domestics_, dork," Reno told him, pausing his pacing to shake his head at the boy. "Now, shut it. Anyway, the boss decided today that ShinRa is going to take a more active role in supporting the three of you."

Yazoo had that look on his face like he wanted to ask a question but knew he'd get shut down. Kadaj wanted to ask a question, too—actually, _millions_ of questions—but he'd learned not to ask when Yazoo had that look on his face. His brother was _way_ better at reading Reno than _he_ was.

"So, he wants to go to dinner tonight and kinda do some whole slap and cup shit," Reno told them, clearly not happy with this. "Which sucks because I had plans tonight that certainly don't involve listening to the boss talk about how great everything is now that its all gone to shit—whatever, we're going out. Get dressed, this shit bugs me."

Yazoo didn't say anything, he just stood up and pulled Kadaj with him, whispering in the boy's ear to go change into something nice and neat and _not_ inappropriate.

Kadaj bounced away to his old room where all of his clothes were and went riffling through his closet. He was still looking for something when Reno came in, saw him standing there in just his boy-shorts, and smacked his ass for lollygagging. It stung bad enough to bring tears to Kadaj's eyes, and he was still rubbing his offended appendage when Yazoo came in, already dressed and ready and perfectly gorgeous. The slim man made short work of it and chose Kadaj's clothing for him, telling him to hurry up and dress because Reno was in an awful mood and there was no sense borrowing trouble.

Kadaj, who hadn't been allowed to borrow _anything_ since that time he'd borrowed Reno's cellphone and wound up throwing it off of the balcony (which hadn't been his fault, he hadn't factored in Yazoo actually _moving_ when he'd chucked it at him), just hurried to dress and met them at the car.

Yazoo drove, and Kadaj almost started to whine about it but his brother gave him "the look" in the rearview mirror so he just leaned forward to rub his cheek on Reno's hand, which was lying conveniently along the top of the seat next to Yazoo's shoulder.

Everyone else was already there when they arrived, and Kadaj stared around in awe at the restaurant. He'd never seen anything so big before _ever_!

The host led them to the centerpiece of the restaurant, which was probably the biggest round table in existence, and politely gestured for them to sit.

It was the very definition of awkward. Tseng, Elena, Rude, Rufus, and Loz were just sitting there, not saying anything. It didn't improve when the three of them sat down, though Kadaj was happy to be next to Loz and chattered at his big brother while everyone else just stared at one another. Even Reno was quiet, but Kadaj figured it was because of his ruined plans.

When they ordered, Reno let Kadaj pick for himself, and he spent an exorbitant amount of time pouring over the menu with Loz. Between the two of them they managed to figure out what most everything was, and when Reno impatiently snapped at Kadaj to fucking order already, the boy sweetly told the pretty waitress his desire. That only led to Reno scolding him and telling the woman to strike the ice cream from the order and give "the little fucker" the braised duck.

Thrown into a sulk by the loss of his ice cream, Kadaj just leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest. He _quickly_ grew bored, and he wasn't the only one. By the time their food arrived everyone was so ready to leave that they started wolfing their food down. Rufus got up mid-way through his ridiculously miniature steak and excused himself to the bathroom, but everyone else ate with the desperation of men (and a woman) who simply want to go about their own business. No one was talking, no one was smiling…it was probably the most boring dinner Kadaj had ever had, _ever_.

Well, at least he had a good opportunity to ask about what Miki had mentioned…

"Reno?" Kadaj spoke up, looking over at the man who sat pretty much across from him. "Are you hung like a horse?"

Yazoo dropped his silverware with a clatter and stood so suddenly he nearly knocked his chair over. With a small, squeaked, "Excuse me," he bolted for parts unknown.

Elena choked on her drink and buried her face in her napkin, coughing.

Tseng suddenly developed an interest in the surface of his wineglass, his brows drawn in a serious frown.

Rude blinked at Kadaj from behind his sunglasses and resumed eating.

Loz didn't even _hear_ the question, he was so delighted with his lobster.

Reno rolled his bite of steak into his cheek and leaned one elbow on the table, knife aloft, and asked, "Who wants to know?"

"_No_ one," Kadaj said, suddenly evasive. "I just…wondered—"

"Bullshit," Reno said, and chewed his bite of food up before swallowing it down with a wash of wine. "Who wants to know?"

"Miki, from school," Kadaj told him, and immediately plunged in with, "She's the only one of my girlfriends who's never seen you and she was wondering what you looked like so I tried to find a picture but all I found was that one from the police when you were a burglar—"

"Mugshot," Rude threw in.

"—when you were a mugshot," Kadaj corrected, taking a breath. "And she—"

"The picture is a mugshot," Rude told him in an amazing display of verbosity. He cut himself another bite of his fish while Kadaj just stared at him, open-mouthed.

"Mugshot, right, got it. And I wasn't a burglar, baby, I was drunk," Reno impatiently said, gesturing with his knife for Kadaj to continue. "What's that got to do with my cock, yo?"

"Well, honestly, Reno, I have no idea what it has to do with your…_you know_," Kadaj told him, scandalized and blushing at the apparent change in subject. "You probably shouldn't talk about that kind of stuff at the table, it makes Yazoo upset. Where _is_ Yazoo, anyway…"

"When you ask if somebody is hung, Princess, you're asking how big their cock is. Now spit it out, what's she wanting?"

Elena finished coughing and looked perfectly outraged.

Tseng rubbed his forehead as if a headache threatened.

Rude kept eating.

Loz glanced around in some confusion, a faint blush on his high cheeks from Reno's language.

Yazoo was nowhere to be found.

"Oh…" Kadaj hesitantly said, giving Rude a worried look in case he might feel the need to interrupt. "Uhm, she said that you were really _cute_ and she wondered how on earth you were my _dad_ and then she asked me if you were any fun and if you liked younger women and I told her that you like all _kinds_ of women all the _time_ so she asked me if you were any good with them and I told her that I thought so because they always tried to find where you live and sometimes some of them come knock on the door and make Yazoo cry and it's awful so she asked me if you were hung and I told her you only _spent the night_ in the jail-place but they didn't hang you and she laughed and asked me about some kind of package you have but I told her you don't get mail sent to the apartment so she told me to just ask you because _you'd_ know what I mean…"

Kadaj heaved a deep breath when he'd finished, expectant green eyes on Reno, who was thoughtfully eating his steak.

"This girl goes to school with you, yo?" he asked.

Kadaj nodded, smiling.

"Jesus Christ, what're they teaching girls these days? Alright, she pretty?"

"She's _gorgeous_!" Kadaj informed him. "She just moved here from Wutai."

"Okay, Princess, you tell her your daddy's hung like a horse and when she's legal she can come get a ride, got it, yo?" Reno instructed, he then looked at Elena and sniggered, "Gotta get a piece of it before it's all used up and worn out, right, Elena?"

Rude chuckled.

Loz laughed nervously, not sure if he should, and shut up when Elena glared at him.

Tseng sighed.

Elena turned beet red and tried to quietly stab Reno with her lousy steak knife, muttering something about over-inflated egos and red-heads who don't know what's good for them.

Reno fended her off and Kadaj happily returned to his meal, pleased to have _that_ whole drama behind him.

A few moments later Rufus returned to the table and put his hand on Reno's shoulder, murmuring something to him.

"Yeah, let him freak one out," Reno said, more interested in his food than what Rufus had to say. "He'll come back when he calms down."

"Yazoo?" Loz asked, suddenly concerned and noticing for the first time that his brother wasn't sitting next to him.

"Men's room," Rufus told him, "Though that became a debated issue."

"Is he okay?" Kadaj asked, still bewildered by Yazoo's sudden, urgent exit from their dinner party.

"Apparently he is horribly embarrassed," Rufus smoothly said, sitting down next to Tseng again and taking up where he'd left off. "I'm not entirely sure that having that much blood in one's face is healthy. He looked this side of stroke."

"_That_ doesn't sound good!" Kadaj declared, putting his silverware down. "I'll go get him—"

"Plant it!" Reno ordered, pointing at Kadaj with his knife, which was just _rude_. "He's in there because of you, yo. Loz, go check on Yazoo, will ya?"

"Several…_gentlemen_ got a little flustered when he ran in," Rufus told them, his dainty hands making dainty slices out of his dainty piece of meat. "It might behoove you to get Yazoo's hair cut."

"Fuck that, I like his hair," Reno said, poking another bite of his steak in his mouth. "He don't look like no fucking _girl_."

"When he's running _that_ fast with all of that silver hair flying out behind him," Rufus mused, and his dreamy expression caused Reno to look at him with suspicious alarm. "Well, sufficed to say, it was an easy mistake to make."

Reno snorted and drained his wineglass, saying, "Yeah, let him hit you once in the fucking _face_ and see if you still think he's a girl, yo."

Loz came back shortly, a little upset, and said, "I couldn't go get him."

"What? Why?" Kadaj asked.

He fidgeted and said in a horrified whisper, "There's a _girl_ in the men's room! I can't go in _there_!"

"That's your brother, you—"

"It's okay, Loz," Kadaj said, cutting Reno off before he could hurt Loz's delicate feelings. "You finish your dinner and I'll go get him."

"I'll go," Rude rumbled, and stood.

Everyone at the table stared at him, including Reno.

Rude pushed his glasses back up his nose and once more displayed an uncharacteristic, almost _body-snatcher_ weird level of wordiness.

"He makes delicious cookies."

"Amen!" Reno said, and drained Elena's glass in a cheer to Yazoo's culinary skills.


	23. How Adults Converse Reasonably

**A/N: sorry for all of the confusion. I added the intro (which I'd forgotten) but every time I changed it, it only showed the old chapter, which is a goddamned pain in the ass. So, I had to take the chapter completely off and start all over again, which is why you all got so many friggin' Chapter Alerts. I swear to Christ, I've about had it with this farking site! Not to mention that I'm so mentally challenged I make LOZ look like Einstein, so no hard feelings against the dumb kid (me...just in case anyone else is as dumb as I am...)  
**

* * *

Rude came back after some time, Yazoo trailing him with a meekness that barely hid the soft glow of his high cheeks. He looked relaxed and happy, and Kadaj mused aloud that he looked like he'd just been _reassured_ to the Nth degree.

_That_ got Reno's attention, and he scowled as Rude moved around to his seat and promptly took up where he'd left off with his dinner.

Yazoo gracefully sat down as if nothing had happened, ignoring his lover's scowl, his brothers' innocent and curious eyes, and Rufus's own indecipherable look.

Reno looked suspiciously from Rude to Yazoo and back again, an expression of slowly dawning understanding lighting his lean face. He flung his silverware down with a loud clatter that startled everyone at the table and demanded to know, "_What. The. Fuck_!"

Yazoo's hazy eyes were on his plate and he didn't so much as _glance_ Reno's way.

The red-head leaned back onto the table with his elbows in that way Yazoo had drilled into Kadaj as being rude and gave Yazoo a _seriously_ suspicious scowl.

"Baby, what the fuck happened in there?"

Everyone at the table looked at Yazoo except for Rude, who helped himself to Rufus's elegant vegetable dish.

"Nothing, you're being paranoid," Yazoo told him, casting fearful eyes around the restaurant and blushing again.

Reno's high cheeks flushed a pretty pink color and his blue eyes sparkled with sudden, angry heat. He slammed his hand down on the table and made all of the glasses and silverware jump, startling everyone all over again.

"What the fuck?" he asked again, incredulous. "So my partner comes to find you and you _fuck_ him? You've got to be fucking _kidding_ me, yo! Of all the rotten, slutty things—"

"Oh what do you care?" Elena interrupted, smirking and picking at her food. "You fuck anything that holds still, Reno. You can't really get mad at Yazoo if he slept around on you when all you _do_ is fuck around on him—"

"Why don't you go fuck yourself until you remember what a dick feels like, you frigid dyke," Reno countered, and _Tseng_ started so badly that he spilled wine all over the expensive white table.

Yazoo tried to sink lower into his seat.

Loz started to whimper.

Rufus had a vein throbbing in his temple.

Kadaj stared from face to face at the table, wondering what on earth was going on.

Rude kept eating.

"Elena," Tseng said, sounding slightly horrified. "Is he _serious_?"

"Well, at least I'm not a _whore_," Elena said to Reno, ignoring Tseng, who just looked hurt.

"Don't kid yourself, _chuckles_," Reno said, and Elena drew back sharply at the word. "Just because you've got your fingers up a _skirt_ don't mean it ain't whoring!"

"Oh, you _awful_—"

"Elena," Tseng tried again, looking genuinely disturbed. "Is _this_ why you've been spending so much time with Janine from accounting?"

"Oh, it's _Janine_ now?" Reno inquired, and suddenly remembered his ire with Yazoo. With _Yazoo_, but, oddly, not with _Rude_. "Seriously, yo, how the fuck—all it takes is a little sweet talk and you're popping your fly, Yazoo?"

"Oh, _please_!" Yazoo groaned, and dropped his head into his hand. "You really have no grounds to be angry with me, Reno. I deal with your cheating, and I _didn't do anything_!"

"Nice," Rude commented, and chewed methodically on his bit of broccoli.

"Nobody asked you, baldy!" Reno snapped, while Tseng and Elena were having an urgent, somewhat loud discussion about her apparent loss of interest in their relationship.

Rufus was avidly listening in.

Loz started to cry.

Yazoo started to laugh at the absurdity of it.

Kadaj just kept staring, utterly bewildered.

"Whitey," Rude replied, and Kadaj thought he might've smiled at Reno's stunned look.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Reno hissed. "_You're _white, too…sorta. _Mutt_!"

"Ginger."

Kadaj giggled, covering his mouth in case he had broccoli in his teeth. Fighting was _fun_! Every "grown up" at the table was irate now, and heatedly involved in some kind of issue. Kadaj thought this was the best dinner party ever and he really hoped that Rufus Mother-hater ShinRa decided to do it again!

Reno's eyes got so big they threatened to pop from his head, but before he could unleash on his long-time partner, Rude clarified, "Be nice to him."

"I _am_ nice to him!" Reno said—well, _shouted_ over Elena's loud statement that pussy beat cock any day of the week hands _down_.

By now every person in the restaurant was staring at their table. If Rufus hadn't owned the place, they would've been asked to leave.

"I don't think that's true, Elena," Kadaj said, trying to be included in the fun. "I have fun worshipping, and there isn't any woman involved."

"I think we're missing the point here!" Reno shouted, and pointed at Yazoo. "You fucked my best pal in the shitter, yo! If you're gonna fuck around on me at least have a little _class_!"

"Oh! You rude, selfish—_oh_!" Yazoo cried, too angry for words.

"If Yazoo is too much trouble for you, Reno, he can always come back to ShinRa," Rufus offered, and his face was studiously blank.

Reno scowled at him and snapped, "Don't play _that_, boss—I saw the look on your face when you were getting all doe-eyed about his goddamned hair."

"I just think you should cut it," Rufus meekly suggested, and handed Rude his dessert when the big man reached for it. "He's very feminine."

"And you're very _straight_," Reno reminded him. "Just because it _looks_ like its got a pussy doesn't mean that it _has_ one, yo!"

"I thought you said he didn't look like a girl?" Tseng asked, now ignoring Elena, who was sitting with her arms crossed over her chest in a fury.

Loz leaned over and hugged Kadaj, seeking comfort, and the smaller boy absently patted him, enthralled by grown-ups acting as ridiculous and petty as his classmates.

"If he looked _that_ much like a fucking girl, Elena would have her sleazy goddamned fingers in him already," Reno shouted, abruptly shifting his attack to the small blond woman. "Ain't that right, Chuckles? I ain't been in a pussy yet that hasn't been felt out by old Elena, here!"

"Look, it's clear that there have been some adjustment issues," Rufus said, trying to smooth things over. "I can see that Yazoo is having a difficult time settling in, if his behavior is any indication."

Yazoo gave him a horrified look while the others still argued.

"So I think that in the name of future peace I should take him back," Rufus suggested, trying for nonchalant and winding up somewhere at perverted billionaire. "After he's stopped being a feral little animal—"

"Say something like that again about my Yazoo," Kadaj shouted, startling everyone with his fury. He leaned forward and snarled at Rufus. "_And I'll drop you off a _taller_ building_!"

Tseng and Elena were arguing again, Loz was drying up because the fighting wasn't going to stop and he'd already forgotten that they shouldn't _be_ fighting. Yazoo was still staring at Rufus like the man had grown another head. Rude just reached for Kadaj's braised duck, and the boy shifted it towards him.

"How _dare_ you threaten me, you ungrateful little shi—"

"Don't talk to him like that!" Yazoo cried, offended.

"You don't say shit about the Princess, boss," Reno threw in. "Now, _Yazoo_, you can say all the shit you want to about _him_, 'cause he apparently likes to fuck in the bathroom with total strangers—"

"I didn't fuck _anyone_ in the bathroom!" Yazoo shouted, and chucked a roll at Reno's head. "You stupid, jealous moron! He's your_ best friend_! Have a little more faith in _both _of us! Just because _you_ have the morals of an alley cat doesn't mean that everyone _else_ does!"

"Touché," Rufus sniggered, and sputtered when Reno reached over and slapped the bottom of his wineglass, splashing dark red wine all over his white suit. The man's blue eyes flared to life and he hissed, "Why, you little shit!"

"Don't fucking get behind him on this!" Reno snapped, and then thought better of it and added, "Well, nevermind, you might as well—looks like _everyone else is_!"

"Oh!" Yazoo cried, furious.

Kadaj picked up a handful of mashed potatoes and flung them right into Reno's startled face, crying, "You stop talking about him like that, he loves you!"

"You're gonna get your ass beat!" Reno promised, and when Elena made a snide comment about Kadaj's ass, Reno scraped the potatoes off of his face and slapped them against her mouth.

Tseng cried a protest.

Rufus loudly berated Reno.

Yazoo tried to hide behind his girly hair.

Loz rediscovered his dessert.

Kadaj launched a roll at Rufus just to shut his big fat mother-hater face up.

Rude finished the braised duck, dabbed daintily at his mouth with his napkin, and lifted his large hand into the air.

"Check, please."


	24. Murder and Pumpkins

* * *

The idea for this came from a personal experience. Happy Halloween (almost!) I'm sorry for the abrupt shift, but this story just goes where it wants to, and I'm sure we'll get back to it :D

_*********_

Kadaj decided that he'd had it up to his eyeballs with _pumpkins_. _Period_!

Apparently, as summer gave way to fall and the chill picked up, people developed an unwarranted and completely asinine obsession with plump, orange, and smelly fruit! They stacked them on corners, they trucked them in from the countryside, they charged _insane_ prices for them at the grocery store, they slapped cutouts of them up in windows, hung poster-board decorations of them up all over the damned place! It was _maddening_! And, even worse, they'd invaded his very _school_, showing up in streamers that were strung all up and down the hallways, hanging from the ceiling by clear threads with mocking, toothy grins flashing at the world.

Kadaj didn't know what fucking pumpkins had to smile about—the only thing they were good for was having their guts scooped out and baked, and he took a vicious, gloating pleasure in stuffing himself with pumpkin seeds, taking their insolent presence personally.

And then, one day, the ultimate in insults occurred.

He came home to find the table decorated with nothing other than a fucking _pumpkin_.

"Yazoo!" he shrieked, outraged, dropping his bag so that he could point at the offensive, fiendish fruit. "_What is that thing doing in the house_?!"

Yazoo poked his head out of the kitchen and looked from Kadaj—who looked very much like someone confronted with the vilest of evil beings—to the pumpkin, which simply looked orange and harmless on its dishtowel, benignly minding its own business and waiting for Yazoo to finish the dishes.

"I thought you'd like to carve a jack-o-lantern, for All Souls' Day," Yazoo said, wiping his wet hands on his apron—it was a ridiculous, frilly affair with "Will Cook For Sex" on the front of it. He had, of course, been given it at the same time as Kadaj had received his "Princess" shirt…apparently Reno's sense of humor had overwhelmed him that day.

"All _What_ Day?" Kadaj echoed, irritated, glaring at the pumpkin.

Yazoo gave the pumpkin another assessing look, trying to see what had so violently insulted Kadaj. Finding nothing, he hefted it and mused, "I think I'll bake the seeds, you seem to like them, and I've spent about 50 gil alone on packets for you—"

"Well, you didn't have to let it in the house," Kadaj complained, mollified.

Yazoo smiled at him, utterly relaxed. He was nothing short of euphoric when so in his element. Domestic bliss was _not_ just a saying for Yazoo, and after the nasty dinner affair had gotten worked out, he'd been even more content.

"Want to draw a face on it? Reno said you might like to carve it," Yazoo suggested, holding up the pumpkin to emphasize his point. "He mentioned something about a grudge?"

Kadaj blushed a little to know that Reno had noticed his increasing hatred of all things pumpkin-related.

"What do you mean, carve it?" he asked. He'd carved things with the _souba_, boy howdy! Did Yazoo mean he could gut this horrible excuse for a fruit? What the hell kind of fruit pretended to be a vegetable anyway? It wasn't even _sweet_! It was like it was deliberately trying to mislead people!

"You know, draw a face on it and cut it out, so we can put a candle inside and set it out on the balcony," Yazoo clarified, smiling that big, beautiful smile of his, genuinely looking forward to it. "It'll be fun!"

_Cut it_?! Kadaj had never heard such a fantastic idea in his life!

"I'd love to!" he said, relishing the thought. He smirked at the pumpkin held aloft in Yazoo's hands. "But instead of putting it on the balcony, I think we should just throw it over and watch it smash on the sidewalk—"

"_Kadaj_! No!" Yazoo said, horrified, unconsciously clutching the pumpkin to his chest. "What a mess _that_ would be! Behave yourself! Honestly! I don't know what's gotten into you lately, you've been such a grouch!"

"It's all these _pumpkins_!" Kadaj whined, pointing at the one Yazoo held so protectively. "They're _everywhere_, Yazoo! Smiling at me like they're _smarter_ than me! Every time I try a locked door there's a _stupid_ _pumpkin_ grinning at me from the panel! I can't even walk down the _street_ without _tripping_ over one! _I hate pumpkins_!"

Yazoo blinked at him, as if he didn't quite know what to say…or he had something and didn't think it would go over well. Finally, he murmured, "You need a break from school, Kadaj, I think you're getting stressed out."

"Just give me the pumpkin—"

"_No_!" Yazoo said, unexpectedly uncooperative. "You'll just toss it over the balcony. Let it alone for now, you can carve it when Reno gets home."

"But Ya_zoo_—"

"_Enough_!" Yazoo said, in that _tone_ he'd developed. He gave Kadaj a severe look and spirited the pumpkin away into his kitchen, saying over his shoulder, "Do your homework, Kadaj."

Momentarily stymied, the boy sulked back to retrieve his bag and went to his room to do his homework, where he just doodled faces he'd like to carve into the stupid pumpkin. A little later he heard the front door rattle and grabbed his paper, dashing out to greet Reno.

"Yay! You're _home_!" he squealed, launching himself into the man's arms, trusting Reno's quick reflexes and wiry strength to catch him.

"You always say that like you're _surprised_," the man teased, hefting him to get an arm under his bottom so he could hold Kadaj up. His big blue eyes sparkled, crinkling a little when he grinned. It was an irresistible grin, and Kadaj grinned back, hooking his ankles together behind Reno and thrusting the piece of paper up under his nose, crowing, "Let's murder a pumpkin!"

Reno chuckled a little and gave his cheek a soft kiss before he put him down and took the paper, brows lifting in either shock or admiration at Kadaj's creativity—they weren't grinning pumpkins, that was for sure, they looked more like victims of a horrific crime.

"You got issues," Reno announced, and tossed the paper at him, calling, "Yazoo! Where you at, baby?"

"_Kitchen_," Kadaj sighed, exasperated, examining his handiwork again as he moved to shove the door closed.

He almost closed Loz in it—his eldest brother was backing into the apartment, trying to disengage from conversation with Mrs. Martin, their neighbor. She was a _nosey-pants_, and Kadaj didn't like her in the least little bit.

Deciding to save his brother, Kadaj yanked the door open and stepped out into the hall. He gave her a sweet smile and said, "Excuse us, I need Loz's help to commit a murder—hope you understand."

"_Kadaj_!" Loz cried, horrified, giving Mrs. Martin a nervous smile, but Kadaj ignored them both and hauled him inside by his arm.

"Seriously," Kadaj said, slamming the door and locking it before shoving his paper into Loz's face. "Which one do you think we should use?"

Loz took the paper and peered at it, biting his lip a little. He didn't like scary things, which was why he spent so little time at Reno's where horror-movies were the norm."Kadaj, w…what happened to these people?"

"UGH!" Kadaj sighed, aggravated. "That's the _problem_, Loz! Pumpkins _aren't people_! Why is everyone so touchy about their damned _pumpkins_?"

Lost, Loz handed the paper back and hesitantly offered, "I know they aren't people, Kadaj. They don't talk or anything…I never _thought_ they were!"

He ended a little defensively, and Kadaj gave him a suspicious scowl, wondering what he was on about. Loz blushed and tried to change the subject, asking, "Why did you draw all of those scary faces, Kadaj?"

"They're for the _pumpkin_!" Kadaj hissed, and held the paper in both hands to stare down at it, really warming to the idea of carving it up.

Loz blinked next to him, and softly asked, "Do you think he will like them, Kadaj? They're awfully scary—"

"I hope he _doesn't_!" Kadaj snapped at him, crumpling the paper a little, irate again at the thought of another pumpkin-lover in a world overrun by pumpkin-brained nobodies. "I hope he _hates _the face I pick! It'll serve that stupid pumpkin right!"

Loz nodded and gave him an unsure smile, soothingly saying, "I'm sure he will, Kadaj—"

"Hey, get in here you two," Reno called, leaning out of the kitchen to shoot them a look. "We carving this pumpkin or not?"

"_Yes_!" Kadaj cried, bolting off for the kitchen with Loz lumbering behind him.

It took over two hours of careful planning, outright bickering, and general mayhem before Kadaj got his way and lay waste to the contemptible faux-fruit known as _the pumpkin_. While he happily sliced, carved, gouged, and stabbed, his tongue poking out of one corner of his mouth, Reno supervised with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other, and Loz just watched with a child's awed interest once Kadaj made it clear nobody but _him_ was carving up the pumpkin. Yazoo kept a wary eye on the whole proceedings, only stepping in to carry away the thing's guts to wash and prepare for baking.

And at last, it was complete—his murdered pumpkin sat atop the kitchen table.

Kadaj glared at it with a fierce grin, slimy up to his elbows with pumpkin goo, just staring at it.

"Uh…let's have that, yo," Reno said, and leaned forward to pluck the knife from Kadaj's hand, flinging it into the sink with a wrinkle of his pretty nose.

They all regarded the pumpkin in silence until Yazoo, who ever sought to smooth and calm things, cheerfully sighed, "Well, that was fun. Dinner should be done soon—it's roast beef, Loz, your favorite!"

"Hey, pretty baby, why don't ya pop a candle in that bad boy and we'll see what he looks like," Reno suggested.

Yazoo rooted in one of the drawers for a tea-light and plopped it delicately into the mess of pumpkin, wiping his soiled fingertips on his obnoxious apron.

"Kadaj, want to put it out on the balcony?" he asked, stepping back.

Kadaj, actually rather proud of it now that he was finished, hefted the pumpkin and headed for the balcony door.

In a completely insufferable _pumpkin_-like display of obstinance, it slid from the boy's grasp and slammed down onto the expensive tile of the kitchen floor with a wet, ripe smack.

Yazoo gasped in horror.

Loz sobbed a little, reaching out as if to catch it, his other hand covering his mouth in abject distress.

Kadaj stared down at it in shock, thinking that pumpkins were _unbelievable_—there was simply _nothing_ they wouldn't stoop to in order to annoy, upset, and otherwise disturb him!

Reno broke the tense silence with his sudden, deep, and raspy laughter, telling him, "Guess you were right, baby—they sure got it out for _you_!"

"_OH_!" Kadaj fumed, outraged with it. Of all the infuriating, unbearable, insufferable, _pumpkin_ things to do! He kicked it and sent it skittering across the kitchen floor in a trail of pumpkin goo.

Reno, too busy laughing to be any help, gestured frantically for Loz to open the balcony door, which the big man did with no little confusion.

Kadaj kicked the pumpkin out onto the enclosed balcony, kicked it past Loz—who'd hurried to open the outer doors—and kicked it over the edge. He waited for a second and smirked a little when he heard the satisfying "splat" of it hitting the sidewalk.

"Who's smiling now, _pumpkin_?" he hissed, and grinned.

The next day when he got home from school, there was another pumpkin on the table with a knife and a note from Reno which read, "_The Lord hath decreed: death to all pumpkins!_"

Smiling, Kadaj picked up the knife.

Maybe they were onto something with this pumpkin business after all.


	25. How Not To Waste Time!

The season of pumpkin idiocy passed and settled into a normal, pumpkin-free fall and Kadaj settled into the life of a normal teenager…with a few exceptions, not the least of which being that he lived with god.

Though that, it would seem, was something that was under debate.

Kadaj, being a creature of few true concerns, had no idea that he was causing such a stir, and skipped happily through the landmine otherwise known as visits to Seventh Heaven. It all came to light one evening, however, when he just happened to wander out of his room, bored of doing homework, and found Reno all sprawled out on the couch with Yazoo on the floor leaning back between his spread legs. The man was petting Yazoo's long, silky hair with absent-minded affection while they watched a movie, both of them fascinated.

Kadaj _immediately _took umbrage and loudly complained, "I want _my_ head rubbed!"

"Brat," Reno called him, smiling, but Yazoo held out his arms and Kadaj scooted down onto the floor to curl up in Yazoo's lap with a happy, content smile. "It's like having two cats in the house—fighting, spitting, purring, petting."

Yazoo smiled lazily and rubbed Kadaj's hair until the boy was almost asleep.

Reno broke the comfortable silence with the verbal equivalent of an atom bomb.

"Cloud keeps calling the office saying he wants the Princess to come live with him."

Kadaj started, utterly horrified by the thought of having to stay with his _niisan_. Cloud wasn't funny or playful or even _alive_. Kadaj couldn't live with a _dead person_! That would be just _gross_!

"What?! _No_!" Yazoo cried, appalled. He snuggled Kadaj close to his chest and the boy smiled, basking in warm comfort. If Yazoo said no, then nothing short of arm-breaking would wrest him from his brother. "No, he stays here with us. He's _ours_! No matter how annoying he is sometimes."

"Hey!" Kadaj cried, offended, but Yazoo just stroked his hair some more.

"He thinks we're forcing him to stay here, yo. He's threatening to tell everyone about our 'living arrangements.' He's trying to get him ousted from his school," Reno said, sighing out a cloud of smoke and leaning over slightly to stub his cigarette out, his movement shifting the two lying against his legs. "We may have to send him, just so he can tell Cloud himself."

"His mother should have named him Clod," Kadaj said, too relaxed to put any real venom in it, though his comment made Reno and Yazoo both laugh.

"Come on, let's go to bed," Reno said, helping them both to their feet.

They piled into Reno's bed, one on either side like he liked, and snuggled warmly up against him. Kadaj wondered what Cloud would think of this, he and Yazoo both draped over Reno. He probably thought it was all orgies and non-stop sex; but, though Reno had a rather sizeable libido, they spent many nights just sleeping all wrapped around each other.

Kadaj snuggled closer, breathing in the scent of Reno's skin. He always smelled of coffee, cigarette smoke, and spicy cologne all floating atop the faint scent of sex and his two lovers. It was comforting and warm and Kadaj curled up tight against him, contentedly purring, his fingers lacing with Yazoo's on Reno's chest and Reno's strong arms around them both.

"He _can't_ take him from us…can he?" Yazoo questioned, sounding doubtful and a little afraid.

Reno hugged them both tighter and kissed Yazoo's soft brow, whispering, "I think we'll have to see how it works itself out, baby. If Cloud decides to get nasty, he could stir up a whole bunch of past shit and make a whole lot of people pissed all over again. I want him to stay with us, too, but I don't want any of you lynched on sight."

Yazoo hitched a little with fear and Kadaj clung tighter to Reno. He couldn't imagine not sleeping curled up next to him, couldn't imagine his Yazoo out of reach. Who would pack his lunches? Who would help him with homework? Who would tickle him until he cried and got mad? Who would kiss him so sweetly and be so shy about it later? He just couldn't see a future where he _wasn't_ with Reno and Yazoo.

Reno rolled Kadaj up onto his belly and held him there, pulling Yazoo's arm over the boy's back. He kissed his soft little mouth and told them both, "Let's don't waste what time we got."

Yazoo tugged Kadaj down into the small space between their bodies and snuggled the boy to him, leaning over his back to kiss his cheek and then kiss Reno's hard chest. They both reached for him, touching him with gentle insistence, and it scared him to think that this might end someday rather soon. But his fears quickly faded beneath warm, loving kisses and knowing touches. In fact, snuggled so warmly between them, Kadaj felt safe and secure from Cloud's awful interference.

Reno nuzzled his throat, practically purring with enjoyment. Yazoo pressed to his backside, hard and hot against the cleft of Kadaj's bottom, one slender hand stroking his slim hip. They all three were lying on their sides, Kadaj and Yazoo facing Reno, and Reno facing them. He tickled one hand down to Kadaj's slender ribcage and gently nipped his throat.

"Pretty baby," he sighed, and Kadaj whimpered to feel Reno start to get hard, the amazing jut of it rising up against Kadaj's thighs. The man shifted down a little to whisper his lips across Kadaj's chest, to tickle them up the length of his swan-like neck. "Who's my baby boy?"

"I am," Kadaj sighed, pressing back against Yazoo while arching his chest towards Reno's lips.

"Warm him up for me, baby," Reno said, his words muffled against Kadaj's silky skin.

Yazoo breathed a kiss against Kadaj's tender ear and gently pulled his arm up to the headboard. Following his cues, Kadaj shifted to lift his other arm and Yazoo pinned them both in one strong, gentle hand.

"Pretty little Kadaj, you're so beautiful when you're helpless," Yazoo whispered, and it made Kadaj shiver because he'd _seen_ what Yazoo was capable of taking in bed and he knew he could never withstand it should his brother decide to mete it out instead.

"Isn't he?" Reno asked, his voice low and husky, his eyes tracing the line of Kadaj's body from his trapped wrists to his slim ankles. "Both of my babies make pretty bottoms."

Reno dropped his head to kiss Kadaj again, and the boy whimpered softly into his mouth when Yazoo's free hand slid over his hip to tickle the tip of his straining erection. It was just the lightest brush of fingers but it shot through Kadaj's nerves like lightening. One fingertip traced the little slit and circled around to press gently just beneath his tight head.

Kadaj moaned and Reno moaned with him, his hard body at its fullest, stiff and hot between them. Yazoo's hand drifted from Kadaj's strutted body to Reno's, a soft stroke for one and then the other. His hand lingered a moment at Reno's and the man grunted lowly, gasping a little and then softly sighing. When Yazoo's hand returned to Kadaj's hard sex, his palm was wet with just a little of that pearly, sticky pre-cum Reno's body tended to ooze when he was aroused.

"Scream for him, Kadaj," Yazoo breathed, and sucked on Kadaj's earlobe as he gave the boy a long, hard stroke with that wetted palm.

Kadaj cried out and Reno groaned again, kissing him and encouraging him, Yazoo's gently pumping hand brushing Reno's own large erection with each upstroke.

It felt incredible to be trapped between them, helpless to resist, his wrists held so gently but so firmly. Yazoo's hot hand knew just what to do, just how hard to pull, just how tight to make his fist and where to linger with short, sharp little squeezes. Kadaj writhed in his grasp, his soft cries loud in the muted bedroom, the nearness of Reno's straining cock nearly driving him mad. When the man reached down and cupped Kadaj's full little sac, the boy nearly came for him.

"There's my baby," Reno crooned, and gave him a hot kiss. He reached over Kadaj's hip and gave Yazoo a few hard, firm squeezes that made the man moan. "Get inside him, Yazoo, he's ready to pop."

Kadaj caught his breath and squeezed his hands into tight fists when Yazoo let go of his cock to press fingers and body against Kadaj's tight entrance. Yazoo murmured softly to him as he pressed his head inside, and they both groaned in pleasure when he eased himself deeper.

Reno sucked at Kadaj's mouth when the boy whimpered, encouraging him with low, soft whispers as Yazoo sank all the way inside him. Kadaj gasped to feel it, so full and hot within him, his whole body vibrating with tension as his arousal peaked sharply.

"That's it, baby, give him a good fuck," Reno said, and his hand was firm when it gripped Kadaj's hip, forcing his slender body hard against Yazoo's when the man began to thrust. "Cry, baby boy, let me know how good it feels."

Kadaj sobbed in pleasure, body straining against Reno's pressing hand, his cock throbbing against the man's own, the light friction just enough to heighten his enjoyment. His soft sobs made Reno moan, his eyes hot as they feasted on the sight of his two babies enjoying each other.

Yazoo reached around and cupped Kadaj's erection again, the slow stroke of his hand in stark contrast to the easy depth of his thrusts. Kadaj writhed, wild for it, transported with need.

"Good boy, Princess," Reno whispered, kissing him again, rubbing his own hard cock against Yazoo's grazing knuckles. "You wanna cum, baby?"

"Yes!" Kadaj moaned, sweating and aching, so full it felt like he'd explode.

"Cum for daddy, then, baby," Reno breathed, eyes fastening on Yazoo's pumping hand, flicking up to see the bliss etched on the man's gorgeous face. "Cum for daddy, Kadaj—show me how much you like it."

Kadaj clenched his teeth and stiffened, crying aloud as it washed over him, barely aware of Reno hissing, "That's it, baby, fuck him _hard_, make him cum hard for me, Yazoo."

Yazoo's hips pounded against him, the hard length of him battering Kadaj's insides, but it felt so amazing combined with his explosive orgasm that the boy could only scream in pleasure, erupting against Reno's belly and cock in hot spurts of cum to the tune of Reno's low, aroused groans.

Yazoo caught his breath, Kadaj's body squeezing him relentlessly, and surged hard, gasping.

"That's it, Yazoo—fuck him hard, cum in him so hard it hurts," Reno said, his voice tight with urgent arousal. "Cum for me, baby. Cum for me, pretty baby."

Yazoo cried softly, his body surging up to cover Kadaj's, rising up to meet the kiss Reno had ready for him. He shivered convulsively, shuddering hard and sobbing into Reno's mouth as his body clenched in a violent orgasm, hips pulsing against Kadaj's round bottom.

The boy sighed in bliss beneath their combined weight, half turned onto his stomach, liquid with post-coital pleasure. Yazoo's frantic pulses filled him with gooey heat and the boy shivered in delight to feel it, nerve endings tingling. He knew what Reno had meant when he'd said, "Warm him up for me." Kadaj still had a difficult time taking Reno as fully as the man demanded—Yazoo had just eased his way, making Kadaj slippery and slick, loose with relaxation to better accommodate Reno's impressive size.

Yazoo and Reno kissed for a long time after Yazoo stopped shaking, long enough for the man to soften inside Kadaj and his breath to slow. Reno punctuated the kisses with his usual praise, whispering, "Good boy, baby—such a good boy for daddy."

With his natural submissive grace, Yazoo blushed at the praise and hugged Kadaj, pressing tender kisses to his moist cheek and releasing his trapped wrists as he pulled out.

"Did you fill him up for me, baby?" Reno asked, and slid a long finger up inside Kadaj, making the boy moan and shiver. He whistled lowly at what he found and gave Yazoo another scorching kiss. "That's what I'm fucking talking about!"

Kadaj lay limp against the sheets, idly watching Reno swipe his hand up his belly, scooping up the boy's cooling cum. He spread it over the straining length of his heavy sex, coating himself in it, his breath quickening and his belly caving. When he got up on his knees, Kadaj automatically rolled onto his belly and got his own legs beneath him, presenting his bottom while Yazoo stroked his slender back.

"Now _this_," the man said, looking at the pair of them. "Is fucking _heaven_."

He held Kadaj's hips with his usual gentle pressure, fingers curling into the boy's flesh. He leaned close and bent over to kiss Kadaj's soft skin just below his shoulder blades. When he straightened, he asked, "How you feeling, yo? You good?"

All Kadaj could manage was a languid, lazy moan that made Reno chuckle.

"C'mere, Yazoo," he ordered. "Come to daddy."

Yazoo unwound his graceful body from the pillows and slithered down the bed to where Reno was kneeling behind Kadaj. Without being prompted, he lightly guided Reno's heavy sex against Kadaj and kissed the man as he worked his way in.

"Aw _fuck_," Reno gasped, sucking at Yazoo's mouth between panting breaths. "You're so fucking _tight_."

He pressed deeper and Kadaj exhaled deeply, letting his muscles loosen as much as he could, allowing his body to welcome Reno's as the man slid all the way in to settle deep.

Reno pulsed against him for a moment before pulling back and slamming deep, forcing a soft, faint cry from Kadaj's lips.

"Let me know if I start to hurt you, Princess," he said, his voice tight with need. He groaned, thrusting again, harder, and cursed under his breath before saying, "Fuck, Kadaj! Brace your hands against the headboard, baby, I need to do this _hard_."

Kadaj lifted himself onto his palms and obediently braced both hands on the wooden headboard, yelping a soft complaint when Reno shoved deep again, hard enough to cause a sharp slap as flesh met flesh. Yazoo's cum had eased the way and was seeping out around the thickness of Reno's hard body, forced out by his rough thrusts.

The boy sighed, the pain negligible compared to the joy of giving Reno what he needed. While he couldn't take it as roughly as Yazoo could, Kadaj was able to bear quite a bit of Reno's rather forceful need. The man pounded into him over and over in an ever-quickening pace, groaning as Yazoo's hands played over him, tickling his skin and scratching red marks that made him hiss in pleasure.

It all ran together for Kadaj, lost in a haze of pleasure and pain, his arms aching from absorbing the shock of Reno's rough movements, his soft moans senseless and meaningless to himself. He was focused on the act itself, lost inside his own skin and shivering with bliss. In moments like those, Kadaj could only believe that love was the best thing god had ever dreamed of, and worshipping was the best way to prove it.

Reno worked his body roughly for quite a while, never one to rush his own pleasure, though he delighted in bringing both of his lovers quickly. He transferred his grip from Kadaj's bony hips to the headboard, his hands holding tight above where Kadaj's own were braced. His thrusting stopped momentarily, long enough for him to whisper to Yazoo, "Yeah, baby, you know how I like it," and then he resumed with added urgency, his husky groans changing tenor to desperate, fierce _need_.

"Oh _yeah_!" he moaned, throwing back his head, the hard pace of his thrusts having pushed Kadaj until his head almost hit the headboard, inches away from his straining hands. "_Fuck_, baby boy, you're gonna make daddy cum! You want it, baby? You want me to fill you up?"

"Yes!" Kadaj moaned, writhing beneath him, shoving his straining hips back against Reno and gasping because it always felt so good, however much it might hurt. "Fill me up!"

"Ask me, baby," Reno gasped, shuddering, so close Kadaj could feel it throbbing and pulsing through the thick flesh inside him. "Ask daddy for what you want, ask like a good baby boy."

"Please," Kadaj whimpered, rocking with the jarring, hard thrusts. "_Please, daddy, fill me up_!"

Reno's hard orgasm came with a rough surge of his pounding body and a sharp, guttural cry of release. He thrust his cum up inside of Kadaj, slamming deep each time to fill his baby like he'd begged for so prettily, his lean body shuddering, gasping hisses escaping his clenched teeth.

Kadaj wailed to feel it, so utterly aroused that he could hardly stand it. If Yazoo hadn't done such a thorough job of jerking him off, he'd have been hard again. Instead, he rocked back against Reno's shivering, twitching body, sobbing softly in relief.

"Aw, fuck, I love my babies," Reno breathed, struggling to catch his breath. "Fuck, Yazoo, you got that shit _down_. All that practicing on the Princess has been good for you, yo."

Yazoo blushed and smiled, satisfied as he slipped his finger out of Reno's body, his whole posture soft and welcoming.

"Fuck, that was amazing," Reno sighed, sitting back on his heels and easing slowly out of Kadaj, enjoying the way the he whimpered and wriggled. He pulled the boy's bottom into his lap and looped his arm loosely around Yazoo, saying, "You two are gonna make me forget my tom-cat ways, yo!"

They both smiled, smug. Yazoo leaned over and fetched Reno's cigarettes, using his clean hand. Reno gave him a grateful smile and took one, bending his head to let Yazoo light it, smoking in silence while absently rubbing Kadaj's hips and lower back.

Kadaj felt it all starting to seep out of him, and shifted to let Reno know he was about to get it on him, but the man only rubbed one round, muscled little cheek and murmured, "I know, Princess. Let daddy finish his smoke, yo, then we'll get cleaned up."

Stupid Cloud could take his stupid suggestions and stick them up his stupid, Mr. Grumpy-Pants _ass_ because Kadaj wasn't going _anywhere_ but straight to the shower with his lovers and then back to bed.

He snuggled his face into the rumpled sheets and smiled, perfectly content.


	26. Fighting on the Phone

**A/N: Okay, this chapter might suck a little, but I couldn't resist—I got a telemarketer phone call today and it just made me think of the baby!**

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Like it usually did at least seven or eight times a night after school was out (and about forty to fifty times a day on the weekends), the apartment's landline phone chirped and started to ring.

Kadaj, in his room to (ostensibly) work on math homework but really just daydreaming about being an astronaut someday, heard the soft pre-ring chirp and flung himself out of his chair and into the hallway.

"I'll get it!" he yelled, hurtling towards the phone as if Reno or Yazoo had the slightest interest in answering it. "I'll get it! I'll _get it_!"

He leapt over the coffee table, skittered madly on the slippery wooden floor of the foyer, and snatched the phone off of its base with a breathless, excited, "Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Reno Or…zlowski? Orzlowski? Am I saying that right?"

Kadaj giggled—Reno had like a _billion_ fake last names and he _always _wrote them on surveys or when he filled out things for places and such.

"May I ask who's calling?" Kadaj politely inquired. He wasn't even disappointed that it wasn't for _him_, just as long as he could talk to them for awhile.

"This is Jon from the Caldwell Vitamin Factory Research Department, and how are you today?" he asked, sounding rather chipper.

Kadaj smiled, pleased. He really liked when people were happy because _grumpy_ people (like _niisan_) were _boring_.

"I'm _fantastic_!" Kadaj announced. "How are _you_, Jon?"

"I'm doing okay, thank you," the man said, chuckling with impenetrable good-cheer. "If Mr. Orzlowski is there, I'd sure like to talk to him about some offers we—"

"Offers?" Kadaj interrupted. "What offers? Are you going to give him a free trip to Wutai? _Has he won a vacation_?"

"Princess, who _is_ that?" Reno inquired, leaning _way_ back in his recliner to look into the foyer, brows drawn.

Kadaj impatiently waved him away, trying to find out if Reno had won a vacation or not.

"Well, no," Jon said, sounding amused still. "But we _do_ have some pretty exciting things to tell him ab—"

"_Exciting_?!" Kadaj gasped, enthralled. "I _love_ exciting! Is it exciting like riding a motorcycle really fast? Or like sailing? I hear sailing is really exciting but I've never gone even though my brother, Loz, went and didn't take me and do you know how _bummed_ I was about that? I swear I cried for three days straight but then I got a bicycle and _that_ is exciting but not as exciting as getting to drive the _car_ and do you have a car, Jon?"

There was a long pause on the other end, as if Jon wasn't quite sure he'd be given the chance to respond.

"Uhm, _yes_, actually, I d—"

"What kind of car?" Kadaj asked. "Is it _blue_? Blue is, like, my favorite color _ever_ even though it's the same color as my _niisan's_ eyes which kinda ruins it a little because _he_ is a ginormous grumpy-pants and if there is one thing he hates it's fun stuff so you'd probably better never call him, okay?"

"Oh_ka_—"

"Never mind!" Kadaj giggled, and sighed a little. "He doesn't have a phone! Well, so he _says_. You know who else doesn't have a phone? Vincent! He's like a million years old and he wears this cloak that is on its last thread and I wouldn't be caught _dead_ in something like that because I'm really fair-skinned, you know? And red just washes me out something _awful_—"

"Baby, who on earth are you talking to?" Reno demanded again, and now Yazoo was leaning over, too, both of them peering curiously into the foyer.

Kadaj gave them both a fierce scowl and said, "Do you _mind_? _I am on the phone_!"

Yazoo giggled and Reno shook his head but they stopped pestering him.

"Sorry about that," Kadaj sighed. "Where was I?"

"Uhm, is your mom or dad home?" Jon asked, sounding a little nervous.

Kadaj gasped and, in a horrified whisper, he said, "_We do not talk about Mother_! Since everything has settled down, Reno says it's best if we just act like it never happened and I _totally agree_ but sometimes when I think of it I really wish I even _had_ a mother because Yazoo and Loz and I don't really have any family and that is kinda lonely except for Cloud but he's a butt-face and he's trying to make trouble and did I tell you he's trying to get me kicked out of _school_?!"

"Uh—"

"_That's what _I_ said_!" Kadaj squealed, happy to have a sympathetic ear. "He's just jealous because _I_ live with _god_ and he doesn't and he always tries to tell me that Reno _isn't_ god but I don't believe him because Reno is the best god _ever_ and he loves everyone—even _you_, Jon!—and when I told _niisan_ that he got really super mad at me and it got even worse when I told Tifa that Reno wanted her to come home with me so he could play with her boobs and it made Yazoo sad when he said that and so Reno tied him to the bed and spanked him a lot and _that_ was fun but Tifa never came over and when I was talking to Yazoo about it later he said that 'boobs' isn't a nice word but the word _Reno_ used was 'tits' and _I _don't like that word _at all_ so I told Yazoo—"

"Do you think I could talk to Mr. Orz—"

"Well, honestly, Jon, I suppose you can talk to anyone you want because _I_ talk to _everyone_ I want and nobody has ever told _me_ no but sometimes they act like I talk too much and that really aggravates me because then they sit there thinking about how much I talk and not hearing what I'm saying—do you know what I mean? I bet you get that all the time since you have to call people's houses and do you _like_ doing that, Jon? Because I think I'd be _fantastic_ at that job—"

"Is there an adult in the house I could speak with?" Jon inquired, sounding _far_ less happy.

Kadaj gasped in outrage and furiously asked, "What, I'm not an adult?! I will have you _know_, Jon, that I am the best student in my class and I was the mastermind behind an _extremely_ successful gang which included my brothers and _no_ that isn't why they listened to me! They listened because _I_ am an _excellent_ speaker and I'm charismatic and I had lots of fights and I even resurrected Sephiroth and then I _died_ so how _dare_ you say I'm not an adult after I've done all that and just for that, Jon—_we're not friends anymore_! So I would appreciate it if you would never call this number again because you have _seriously_ hurt my feelings and you didn't tell me _anything _exciting at _all _and you _promised _to tell me if Reno had won a vacation and since you're a huge _liar _I don't want to talk to you _ever again_…or at least for a really long time!"

"Uh…"

"_Fine_!" Kadaj sighed. He never was very good at holding a grudge anymore. "I'll _probably_ forgive you if you call back next week."

"I just—"

"_Goodbye_, Jon!"

He hung up the phone and fanned himself a little, feeling flushed and angry.

"You okay in there, Princess?" Reno asked.

"Yes, just _some people_!" Kadaj declared, joining them in the living-room and sitting on the armrest of Reno's recliner to drape himself over the back. "_I_ was just trying to be nice and _Jon_ called me a baby!"

"Who the fuck is Jon?" Reno asked, dragging Kadaj around into his lap and snuggling him to his side.

"I don't know," Kadaj sighed, miserable. Fighting made him so _upset_! "Some man on the phone…_I really hate fighting_!"

Reno chuckled a little and rubbed his back, trading an amused look with Yazoo.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he soothed. "He'll be miserable without you."

"Do you really think so?" Kadaj asked, lifting his head to give Reno the Big Eyes.

"Yep!" Reno said, and patted his bottom. "He's probably crying his eyes out right now."

"For reals?" Kadaj asked, and his expression grew concerned. "Oh no, maybe I was too mean to him…I should probably call him—_oh no_! _I didn't get his number_!"

He shot out of Reno's lap and hurried back to the phone. After a few seconds Reno heard him on the phone with information, asking for the number to "some kind of Vitamin Place, lady, _seriously_ how should _I_ know? _He _called _me_! Yes, I'll _hold_…"

"Do you think he'll find him?" Yazoo asked, a smile on his pretty face.

Reno laughed and answered, "If anybody can, it's our baby boy."

"I wonder if he even knows what a telemarketer _is_?"

"I know one thing," Reno informed him, grinning. "That kid is the best call-screening device I've ever had."

"_Yes _of _course_ I know his name—it's_ Jon_! Can I speak to your manager?"


	27. Cups and Impostors

"Well," the security officer said, frowning at the person seated before him. "Three counts of assault, one of kidnapping, another of disorderly conduct…What do you have to say for yourself, young man?"

Kadaj gave him a long, furious look from under his hair and said with no little exasperation, "You should be saying thank you—_I_ caught an imposter!"

The officer sighed for the millionth time in the last ten minutes since he and his fellow patrol-man had come upon the scene and taken this young and sassy teen into custody.

"Alright, then," he conceded. "Let's hear it—_all_ of it."

* * *

It was a week before Solstice and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a—

"_TIME TO GO SHOPPING_!"

Reno and Yazoo both jerked awake, wincing as Kadaj bounded onto the bed fully dressed and still warm from his bath.

"_Shopping! Shopping!_" he sang, excited. He flopped between them and wriggled around to encourage them to get out of the bed. If he just made it uncomfortable enough, then they would get up and they all could go _shopping_!

"What the fuck time is it?" Reno asked, his voice raspy.

"Three! You slept all day! Come _on_!"

"Kadaj, calm down," Yazoo said, wincing. He probably had a headache from sleeping all day long—he hadn't been tired when Reno had finally come home, but he knew that Reno hated sleeping alone so he'd gone back to bed. "Don't be so pushy!"

"How can you be so calm?" Kadaj demanded, levering up on his elbows to stare at his pretty brother as both older men slowly rolled out of bed. "We're going shopping, Yazoo! It's _exciting_!"

Reno snorted, but he didn't correct Kadaj, he just headed to go shower, making a small motion at Yazoo to follow him.

Kadaj grinned with bliss, lolling on the mussed bed and dreaming about all of the things he would buy.

"Make the fucking bed, lazybones!" Reno hollered, his voice echoing back from the bathroom.

With a soft scowl Kadaj did as he was told, but even chores couldn't suck away his pleasure.

Reno and Yazoo made quick work of getting ready and Kadaj was nearly bouncing off of the walls by the time they piled into the car. He was so excited he didn't even complain about Yazoo getting to drive again, though he loudly informed Reno that _he_ would drive on the way home, thank you very much! Once they reached the mall parking lot he was a little glad he _hadn't_ driven—there were people all over the place and cars everywhere and more than one unsupervised child darted treacherously close to the car. Yazoo, placidly calm and collected as always, merely found them a prime parking slot and slid in, nothing to it.

"Alright, here's the deal," Reno said, getting out of the car and squinting against the cold, stinging wind. "We gotta get some presents for Solstice—"

"Yay!" Kadaj squealed, though he had no idea what Solstice was or why it warranted presents. It didn't matter—he _loved_ gifts!

"—and this place is a zoo, so let's make it quick and painless!"

Reno grabbed his mitten-wrapped hand and took Yazoo's before hurrying into the mall alcove with them, all three shivering.

"Like I was saying," he continued, working his thin leather gloves off and loosening his scarf. "Presents. I'm gonna give you some money, Princess, and I'm gonna turn you loose but—Kadaj, pay attention!"

Kadaj blinked rapidly and tried to give the impression that Reno's words were of any interest to him. He found it rather hard, however, because he saw no signs of a zoo anywhere in the building and he'd been to the mall _loads_ of times. Weren't there _animals_ in zoos? He wasn't talking about the _pet_ _store_ was h—

"Hey, I'm serious about this—_you don't leave this building_, you got me?" Reno told him, grasping his shoulders just to make his point. "I don't care if Cloud comes and tries to drag you off or if Tifa asks you to help her take packages to her car—you do _not_ leave this building."

"Okay!" Kadaj agreed. He shoved his hood off with his mitten-clad hand and unzipped his coat. It was a heavy, poofy, down-stuffed winter coat a soft lime green color. Since he hadn't been able to find matching mittens and scarf, Kadaj had opted for a pastel purple scarf and yellow mittens. Yazoo said he looked adorable. Reno said he looked like a dyed egg.

Reno dug into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills, counting off a fair amount and handing it to Kadaj with another long, warning look.

"_Okay_!" the boy huffed, exasperated. "_Shopping_! Let's stop talking about it already, and _go_!"

"Don't talk to strangers," Yazoo warned, his biker-cap cocked on his head in a way that gave him a rakish, mischievous look. _He_ looked sleek and gorgeous in his long trench coat…but Kadaj was too short to find one that fit him, so egg-coat it had been. "Save some of that money for food, and call us if you want to join up."

"Stop _worrying_!" Kadaj laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'll be okay!"

He shoved the money into the inner pocket of his coat and scampered off, waving.

Yazoo stared after him in concern, but Reno just gave him a playful swat and slipped an arm around his waist, gently pulling him towards the lines of stores.

* * *

First things first—Kadaj made a bee-line towards the ice-cream place and got himself the biggest cup he could order…and promptly ate it all. After that, he used his change to get a locker and stuffed his egg-coat in so he wouldn't have to cart it around, and then it was on to serious shopping!

Games, clothes, movies, hats, belts, _shoes_, a new backpack—he bought everything he fancied and even considered getting his ears pierced, but reconsidered when he thought of Reno and how hard he could swat when he was put out. He eventually ended up at a huge department store that seemed like Yazoo's type. It was opulent, elegant, and snooty, clearly a place where Yazoo would shop. Rather hoping to run into his family, Kadaj headed inside.

The store was _huge_, it even had _escalators_ and Kadaj spent some time riding up and down until a strolling security guard gave him a firm look. Bored of the huge store full of old-people clothes and ugly furniture, Kadaj wandered back down to the home-section because he knew Yazoo liked things like pretty cups and bowls that had paintings inside them and he would be _there _if he was _anywhere _in this store.

"Could you please gift-wrap this for me?"

Kadaj's ears perked up—he knew that voice!

He turned around and looked at the man standing in line at the register and took stock, trying to match what he'd imagined with what he was seeing.

He was of average height with light brown hair shorn short. He was wearing a green sweater and had a heavy coat and scarf draped over his arm. He was avidly watching the clerk wrap up a set of crystal, fluted glasses and seemed content to do just that until the end of time.

Kadaj waited until the glasses were wrapped and in hand, and when the man turned around, he asked to confirm, "_Jon_?"

The man dropped the package with a startled squeak.

There was an audible noise of crystal shattering and the man breathed, "Oh _no_."

* * *

"Where do you think Kadaj has gone off to?" Yazoo asked, shifting a load of shopping bags to his other hand so that he could have one hand free.

Reno, sensitive to his lover as ever, laced his fingers through Yazoo's, knowing that the younger man would never presume to do so first.

"So long as he isn't setting shit on fire, I'm good," Reno laughed, winking at Yazoo.

"Oh, Reno," he said, blushing. "You know that whole bus incident was an accident—he didn't know what those sparklers would do, and you knew better than to give them to him anyway—"

"Take it easy, baby, I'm just teasing," Reno assured him, and stopped at the sporting goods store to look over the bike helmets displayed in the window. "I think I should get him one of these."

"He would throw a fit about it messing up his hair," Yazoo said. "And he doesn't ride so much in this weather anyway."

"I meant for just around the house," Reno said.

Yazoo gave him a sharp look, but the twinkle in Reno's big blue eyes made him giggle to think of his little brother wandering around the house in a ShinRa Health and Safety Department approved helmet.

* * *

"So, anyways, I was thinking that if you still wanted to talk to Reno then you could come with me," Kadaj chattered, holding his shopping bags on one arm while Jon stared down at his gift with huge, pained eyes. "He's around here somewhere and—why are you so sad, Jon? You look like you're going to cry!"

The clerk came around the desk, utterly horrified, and Kadaj glared at her, saying, "And as for _you_, how _dare_ you sell Jon broken glasses! Do you have any idea how much this stuff costs, lady? Look at him! He's going to cry! Why don't you run along and get him a new set?"

Jon stared at Kadaj in utter shock when the clerk hurried off to do just that.

"Well," Kadaj sighed, pleased. "Now that we've got _that_ out of the way, we can talk! So, Jon, did you really like those crystal glasses? My brother Yazoo really likes stuff like that but Reno always says he watches too much Home and Garden television and last week Reno came home and Yazoo had rearranged the whole living room and Reno said that it looked really nice but he teased Yazoo about it for a long time and Yazoo actually got his feelings hurt and it made me a little sad but they made up and Reno gave Yazoo one of his credit cards to buy paint and anything he needed to make it look like he wanted and I tried to get the card so I could see Reno's real last name but—"

"Here we are, Mister Zimmerman," the clerk cut in, returning with yet another box of delicate crystal glasses which she promptly began to wrap.

"Excuse me, Jon, I was still talking," Kadaj reminded him, but then frowned at the crestfallen look on Jon's face. "I can't remember what I was talking about…oh yes, _glasses_! Why did you buy such expensive ones, Jon? Don't you have any cups in your house?"

Jon gave him a woebegone look, and Kadaj noticed that the man was pretty average all the way around—pale hazel eyes in a regular face, hair neither thick nor thin, features small and neat. He was an indiscriminate age and dressed like a poster child for plain living—Kadaj, in all, was not impressed.

"They…they're for my wife, Kim," Jon said. "Her present, for Solstice."

Kadaj cocked his head, confused.

"What do you mean, _her_ present?"

"Well," Jon said, hitting his stride and finding his phone-persona again now that it appeared his stupid cups would be restored to him. "You know, _Solstice_—everyone gives each other presents on the Longest Night?"

"Wait, _wait_!" Kadaj cried, truly distressed. He grabbed on tight to Jon's arm and wailed, "The presents are for _other people_?!"

Jon just looked bewildered and a little alarmed, and when the glasses were wrapped once more he took them protectively in hand with the clear intention of walking away and leaving.

"Jon!" Kadaj whimpered, chasing after him. "I need your help! We're friends, right? Haven't I always been nice to you? After all, I went to all of that trouble to find you after we got into that fight—"

"_You tracked me down at work_!" Jon hissed, eyes flashing. "You've _stalked_ me like some kind of _crazy_ person for weeks—do you know that I've had to be switched from nights to days because you kept calling? I'm a _telemarketer_! I _make the phone calls_!"

Kadaj gave him a conciliatory smile and summoned up the Biggest Eyes, sure to toss in an extra lash flutter and an unsure eye flick.

"Jon," he whispered, doing his best to look young and helpless. "I'm sorry…I just thought we were friends…Couldn't you just help me find presents? Just for old-times sake?"

Jon glared at him…

…and slowly slumped into resignation.

"Come on, I have a locker—you can stash your stuff in it!" Kadaj offered. "I don't know how I'm going to buy _anybody_ presents, though. I spent almost all of the money Reno gave me."

"Well, you'll just have to return some of it," Jon suggested, frowning ferociously but not really protesting anymore. Maybe his prior conversation with Kadaj had made him realize that nothing short of Divine Intervention would stop the youth and that it was better just to give in.

"_Return _it?" Kadaj asked, leading the way to his locker. "I didn't know you could do that."

He opened his locker and got everything out and let Jon put his precious cups inside while he sorted through the bags and decided what he could do without. Jon reminded him to make sure he had the receipts, and then showed him what he was talking about. After a short time, Kadaj got another locker for himself, piled what he was keeping inside it along with his egg-coat, and Jon grudgingly went with him to get Kadaj's money back.

* * *

"Don't you suppose we should call him?" Yazoo asked, sipping at his soda. They were sitting in the mall food court at one of the metal tables, surrounded by packages and cheerful holiday music. "He's been gone for _hours_ now…"

Reno smiled at him, head tipped back and eyes half-closed, utterly at ease where he sat, not even minding the annoying fountain that occasionally pelted him with errant droplets of water.

"Yeah, I know, but this was the only way we could shop for him without him being a pain in the ass, baby, you know that," he said, languidly reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from Yazoo's face. "He's probably bought himself half of the mall by now."

"Oh, you don't think…"

Reno grinned, chuckling as he asked, "Did _you_ ever explain about presents? Because _I_ sure didn't."

"Oh no," Yazoo sighed, realizing what Reno already knew. "So what will you make him do with everything he buys?"

"Hey, it's Solstice," Reno said, smirking. "He can keep it…How much could he possibly get? Let's go drop this stuff off at the car and go see the display, huh? Bet you ain't ever seen Saint Klaus, have you?"

Yazoo shook his head, confused but smiling because Reno was smiling, and if Reno was happy, then so was Yazoo.

* * *

"Please, help me! I can't seem to get away from this kid—"

"Oh, _Jon_!" Kadaj laughed, dragging the frustrated man along with him. They'd been shopping for over an hour and Kadaj had declared that he had officially bought everything he wanted for his family. When they'd stuffed it all in Kadaj's locker, however, Jon had tried to make good his escape, prompting Kadaj to latch onto him and insist on helping him finish his own shopping since they were such a great pair. "You're so funny! Oh, _look_! What's that?"

"Saint Klaus?" Jon said, sounding incredulous. "How are you a kid and you don't know who Saint Klaus is?"

"Is he _famous_?" Kadaj asked, excited.

"Well, as the story goes, Saint Klaus is the one who brings presents to children on Solstice Eve—"

"_Presents_!" Kadaj squealed, jumping up and down in glee. He clung to Jon's arm and dragged him towards the brightly lit and joyous-looking display.

"Look, kid, I really need to get home—"

"_Jon_," Kadaj said, stopping to give the man a severe glare. "Don't you want to see this famous person? Come on!"

Holding fast to Jon's arm in case he decided to make a break for it, Kadaj got in line along with a bunch of annoying little kids, craning his neck to see this famous Saint Klaus person.

"Tell me about him," Kadaj said, looking at Jon expectantly. When the man gave him a quizzical look, he clarified, "So I don't look like a total idiot when I talk to him! I need to know stuff about him. What's his favorite color?"

"Red," Jon said, his answer clipped. When it was apparent that Kadaj wasn't about to give up, he sighed and added, "He lives in the snowcaps to the North and wears a red suit and drives a sleigh loaded with presents that he gives to good kids on Solstice Eve. Uhm…he's got a big, bushy beard and he's fat and jolly. Good enough?"

"I won't bring up his weight, that's not polite," Kadaj said, as if _kidnapping_ was acceptable. "Almost our turn!"

He practically squealed in excitement to meet this famous person! Much to his delight, there was a weirdly dressed grown-up taking photos, too.

The big-shouldered man in front of Kadaj moved aside as his child finished with Mister Saint Klaus and Kadaj bounded forward.

"This way, please!"

"_Oh my god_!" Kadaj gasped, staring down at the oddly dressed person who only came up to his hip. "Did someone shrink you?"

"Yeah, really funny, kid," the helper snorted, and whacked his leg to get him moving. "Don't get _that_ one all the time. Get up there!"

Kadaj scrambled away from the bad-tempered, shrunken man and noticed an equally shrunken woman on the other side of the seated Saint Klaus. Had _he_ shrunk these people? Was Saint Klaus some kind of Northern Overlord and they'd somehow incurred his wrath? Mystified, Kadaj moved closer and sat on the man's leg when it was clear no other chair would be provided.

"Well, young man, what would you like for Solstice?"

Kadaj frowned, noticing at once that Mister Saint's beard wasn't attached to his face.

"A car," he said, figuring he might be able to get something out of this. "Is your beard fake?"

The man uttered a nervous laugh and chortled, "Of course not! Don't be silly! Now, what else have you come to tell Saint Klaus?"

Kadaj, now thoroughly suspicious, noticed that the man was neither fat nor jolly—his belly was smooshy and oddly shaped like he'd stuffed Kadaj's coat inside his shirt.

Fake beard, fake belly, not jolly…

"_You're not Saint Klaus_!" Kadaj cried, and shot to his feet, pointing an accusing finger at the man. "_You're a _fake!"

The man growled something but Kadaj didn't hear it because the two shrunken people rushed towards him.

"Jon, run!" he yelled, crouching. "It's a trap! This man is an impostor!"

The little people ran towards him with the obvious intentions of subduing him and Kadaj darted around behind the floundering, fake Mister Saint's heavy chair. He scrambled up it to escape the pursuing small helpers, spying Jon moving stealthily out of the rioting line of confused Saint Klaus seekers.

A concerned mother snatched him back and angrily demanded, "Get your son under control, Mister! He's causing a scene!"

Jon stumbled back towards Kadaj, who slipped off of the chair and landed on one of the helpers, prompting the small woman to pummel him in a fury, yelling, "You killed Herbert! You big people are all the same!"

Stunned that he was being assaulted with such murderous intent, Kadaj rolled off of the unfortunate but clearly alive Herbert and caught the escaping Impostor-Klaus around the waist, snarling to the pursuing woman, "Take another step and it's lights out for Klaus!"

Mister Klaus, apparently a faker who enjoyed a drink or two before seeing packs of screaming children, wobbled dangerously and fell forward onto Jon with Kadaj clinging to him, causing the three of them to crash into the display in a tangled heap.

The woman leapt onto Kadaj's back and started to beat him in the head, but he refused to relinquish this fake Saint until mall security came and took him away to Impostor Jail.

"You'll probably be hung like a horse!" Kadaj told him, forgetting what Reno had told him about that. "You…you…_impostor_!"

The crowd drew in, shouting and scandalized, some people laughing and young voices asking noisily why the albino kid had attacked Saint Klaus.

In the midst of this chorus and over the curses of the woman pummeling his head, Kadaj heard Reno's low voice sigh, "_Kadaster_."


	28. Subtlety, Bribery, and Being Grounded

_Grounded_.

Kadaj sighed and flopped onto the couch, directing his Big Eyes at Reno, who was kicked back in his recliner looking at a magazine that Yazoo had wanted him to see.

He sighed again, louder this time, and wriggled around on his back to look at Reno upside down.

"You can sigh until you pass out, you're still grounded," Reno absently said, and called over his shoulder, "Yazoo! You want which one, now?"

"It isn't _fair_!" Kadaj complained, despite repeated insistence on Reno's part that "fair" was for little children who didn't know about life yet. "I'm a _hero_! Why is everybody making such a big deal out of this?"

"_You're_ the only one making a big deal out of it," Reno pointed out, peering at the magazine. "That mall Klaus coulda pressed charges on you, him and those two little people, both. Oh yeah, who the hell was that guy pretending to be your dad?"

He looked at Kadaj, who opened his eyes even wider to blink innocently at him.

Reno rolled his eyes and went back to his magazine.

Yazoo came in from where he'd been reorganizing the coat closet and perched on the arm of Reno's chair, pointing to this and that in the magazine. He was really excited about redecorating the apartment, which bored and annoyed Kadaj to _death_.

He sighed again so loud that Yazoo gave him a curious look.

"Don't mind him, yo, he's just pouting," Reno said, and smirked at Kadaj when he saw the boy scowl.

"Can I at least go to Seventh Heaven?"

"No," Reno said. "The idea behind being grounded is that you don't go anywhere."

"Not even to the store with Yazoo?" Kadaj inquired, sitting up on the couch and flopping dramatically.

Neither of the two men paid him any attention, except for Reno murmuring absently, "Not even to the store, brat."

"So I can't leave the apartment?" Kadaj asked, even though Reno had explained the terms of his incarceration to him quite thoroughly. "What if there's a fire?"

"Then you go to the window and scream _real_ _loud_ for help," Reno suggested.

Kadaj heaved another woebegone sigh and stared forlornly out of the window at the falling snow. He severely disliked snow ever since the Northern Crater. In his opinion, a crater had no business being so damned cold, anyway! Shouldn't they be full of water? Or ice? And the _wind_, ugh! It had blown his hair around so bad he couldn't see straight! Kadaj had no idea why people paid good money to go trudge up a stupid, ugly, freezing mountain and slide all the way to the bottom on skis. What a waste of time…

"I hate _grounded_!" he announced, sour. Reno wouldn't even let him watch the TV unless he or Yazoo had already turned it on. In a huff of temper, he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"You're gonna hate getting spanked," Reno informed him. "Thin ice is gonna give way in a minute, you'd best straighten up."

Kadaj glared at him and asked in a snotty voice, "Do you expect me to be _happy_ about being grounded for my heroics? Maybe the _real_ Mister Saint Klaus will be a little more appreciative!"

Reno blinked at him and said, "Yeah, you let me know how that works out."

Kadaj popped up to his feet and said in his snootiest voice, "I will have you _know_ that I am going to be a local hero…as soon as everyone finds out that man at the mall was a _fake_! Why isn't someone looking for the real Mister Saint? Was that man not an impostor?"

Reno gave him a soft smile and said, "Yeah, Princess. He was an impostor."

"And didn't I expose him to the public as such?" Kadaj asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Yep, you sure exposed him to something," Reno laughed. "I wouldn't call it 'the public,' more like ridiculous nonsense."

"So, I caught an impostor and I should be a hero!" Kadaj said, smug. "I arrest my case."

"Oh yeah?" Reno asked, chuckling. "Do you send it to jail, too? Maybe hang it like a horse?"

Kadaj pulled a face at him, perplexed but sensing that Reno was making fun of him.

"You _rest_ your case, dork," Reno laughed, shaking his head. "You _rest_ it."

Kadaj flushed and turned away, his pride and feelings hurt in one fell swoop because Reno—as _god_—should know he was innocent of those crimes he'd been accused of.

"Kadaj?" Yazoo asked, concerned. "Reno, don't tease him, you know how sensitive he is…"

"Princess," Reno said, and handed the magazine to Yazoo when the boy didn't turn around. "Hey, I'm talking to you."

Kadaj stubbornly ignored him, his lower lip poked out in a pout that only just kept angry tears at bay. He was frustrated that no one would see his point of view and it upset him that Reno always laughed at him, always made him feel like a dumb little kid.

Reno sighed heavily and got up, pulling Kadaj to turn him and asking, "Are you that upset? You're just grounded, Kadaj, it's not the end of the world!"

"Stop making fun of me!" Kadaj flared, and turned again, his back to Reno. "You always tease me for being stupid! I'm _not_, you know! I'm _not_ stupid!"

"Whoa, where's this coming from?" Reno asked, and said to Yazoo, "Go finish your little project, baby, I need to sort out the kid."

Yazoo quit the room after a long, concerned look, leaving Reno alone with Kadaj.

"I'm not Yazoo," Kadaj said. "I'm _me_ and I _like_ me! And I don't care if I seem stupid to you, because I'm _not_ stupid!"

Reno ruffled his hair a little and stroked his back, sighing, "No, you're not stupid, Kadaj. I never think you're stupid. I think you're _silly_ sometimes, but it's part of what I love about you."

"So stop _treating_ me like I'm stupid!" the boy insisted, stubbornly turning every time Reno tried moving around him. "I'm fantastic and you shouldn't be so mean to me!"

Reno finally got tired of chasing him in circles and just hooked an arm around his slender waist, hefting Kadaj along with him as he sat back in his recliner.

"You think I wish you were like Yazoo?" Reno asked, rocking the sulking boy a little. "You still think I love him more than you?"

"Yes," Kadaj said, and he didn't _mean_ to pout, he just wasn't very happy with god at the moment. "You paid me off at the mall so you could be by yourself with him, didn't you?"

Reno's brows lifted at this—Kadaj had been so eager to snatch the money and run off that he'd assumed the kid had no idea of his ulterior motives.

"That's what I thought," Kadaj fumed. "And then you call me a Kadaster and make fun of me for doing what I thought was right and _grounded_ me for trying to help! Your really should think about how you're affecting my psyche, Reno—you could be scarring me for life."

"Psychology semester test?" Reno inquired, and Kadaj nodded, a little smug that he'd been able to sound so knowledgeable about the subject. "Look, Kadaj, when you're frustrated about something, it doesn't do you any good to get all pissed off about it, okay? I know you were just trying to do what was right, Princess. You're not in trouble for trying to do the right thing, you're in trouble because it _wasn't_ the right thing to do—you smashed a mall display, dragged some unfortunate stranger into your shenanigans, and basically caused a huge scene. Subtlety just isn't quite within your realm of experience yet, but we'll get you there."

"Subtlety _sucks_!" Kadaj said, still both irritated and hurt.

Reno sighed and dragged the young man down against his chest, holding him tight and dropping a soft kiss onto his head.

"You _are_ an experience, Kadaj," he sighed, and kept his grip tight until Kadaj stopped fretfully wriggling. "And I want to make this very clear to you—I have never thought and I will never think that you are stupid, okay? You're special to me just like you are and however you wind up."

"But you always tease me," Kadaj protested, and lifted his head a little to give Reno a doubtful look. "You never tease _Yazoo_."

"I tease you because you tease back, Kadaj, you play with me and don't get all broken up about it…well, _usually_," Reno admitted. "Princess, I _can't_ tease Yazoo, you've seen how he gets. He's too easily hurt to tease very much."

"_I'm_ easily hurt!" Kadaj informed him.

"No, you're easily _offended_," Reno laughed, and kissed his forehead. "And since you _like_ to be offended, it works out."

"I do _not_!" He cried, offended.

"See? There you go," Reno laughed, and tickled Kadaj until he squealed and laughed, begging him to stop. "You gonna straighten up? You behave, I might shorten your incarceration by a week."

Kadaj immediately seized upon the possibilities and grinned widely, nodding a little.

"Does grounded mean I can't worship?" the boy asked, fluttering his Big Eyes and trying to look as guileless as possible.

"No, I don't think I could make that one stick," Reno told him, stretching out to grab that magazine of Yazoo's again.

"Then can we go worship?" Kadaj asked, and cocked his head.

Reno gave him a wary look and said, "_Sure_, just let me finish up l—"

"If I make it good will you make me not grounded anymore?"

Reno blinked, momentarily unable to respond.

"Kadaj," he slowly said, causing the youth to cock his head to the other side. "Are you trying to bribe me with sex?"

"Yes?" Kadaj asked, not sure if that was the right answer.

Reno shrugged a little and said, "Fair enough, let's go."

The boy bounded out of his lap and down the hallway for the bedroom, delighted that he would soon be one very _un_-grounded Kadaster.


	29. Cucumbers and Dirty Talk!

"Where's Yazoo?" Kadaj chirruped, lolling on the bed because the down comforter felt so _nice_!

"He's givin' us some time by ourselves," Reno told him, closing the bedroom door and crossing the room to the big, comfy bed.

"For reals?" Kadaj questioned, eyes wide. He'd only had one by themselves time with Reno, and that had been the very _first_ time, so it kinda didn't count, really—

"For real," Reno confirmed. "But you gotta remember, baby, that when it comes time for me and Yazoo to have _our_ alone time, you can't kick up a fuss."

"Alright," Kadaj lied, shrugging. He couldn't even fathom the two of them not wanting him involved. That was just _dumb._

He clambered up onto his knees and threw his arms around Reno's neck to drag him down, both of them landing in a laughing heap on the bed.

"Kadaj, you sure are something," Reno sighed, and stroked his face, that wide, lazy grin making Kadaj's heart pound. "What made you think of this, anyway?"

Kadaj shrugged, wriggling around beneath him to loop his slender little legs over Reno's narrow hips.

"I dunno," he answered. "I just don't want to be grounded anymore!"

Reno ducked down and kissed him, tongue teasing over Kadaj's smiling lips until the boy opened for him, purring. He _loved_ worshipping, _loved_ having the attention and the yummy-good feeling. He didn't even mind the yucky-gross so much anymore, though Reno still couldn't convince him to take care of himself. Kadaj figured that as long as he had Reno and Yazoo, there was no earthly reason he ought to do _that_.

Reno pulled back to work his hand under Kadaj's tee shirt and the youth said, "You should kiss me more!"

"In general or right now?" the man questioned, slipping Kadaj out of his shirt like shelling a little pea.

"_All_ the time!" Kadaj informed him, and giggled because the cool air made his skin tighten.

"I don't kiss _Yazoo_ all the time," Reno pointed out, going to work on Kadaj's pants, his fingers tickling the boy's lower belly so that he wriggled and laughed, gasping. "You're in a better mood now."

"I like to worship," Kadaj said, leaning up to latch onto Reno's shoulders again and pull him down flush against his smaller body.

"Don't we all?" Reno breathed, his blue eyes dancing with love and mirth. He propped himself up on one elbow and lazily stroked Kadaj's body from neck to hip, his thumb running over the hard knob of his hipbone and lingering in the hollow of it.

Kadaj smiled at him, plucking at the tail of Reno's tee shirt, running his deft little hands up beneath it to touch warm, solid muscle. He liked touching Reno, it was like petting a big, scary cat. He didn't often have the opportunity to just examine his older lover—they were usually _really_ busy kissing all over between the three of them—but he had his chance and he took it.

Reno seemed to sense Kadaj's adventurous curiosity and just held still for him, lounging on his side with his head propped on his hand and his other hand stroking Kadaj's hair.

"Do you think I could try the mouth thing again?" Kadaj asked, batting his eyes. "I've been practicing on a cucumber."

"A _cucumber_?" Reno snorted, laughing, his eyes soft and happy. "You serious?"

"Yes," Kadaj assured him, even adding in a solemn nod. "I told Yazoo that the girls at school practice on carrots and he told me they were being optimistic—but I think _he_ was being sarcastic—and he said that I'd better start with something more like _yours_. So he gave me a big, fat cucumber…"

He frowned a little and quietly reflected, "I think it's the biggest cucumber I've ever seen…"

"And how's it going?" Reno asked, trying to contain his amusement since Kadaj was so serious about it.

Kadaj frowned again and shrugged, saying, "Not as well as I had hoped."

Brightening, he grinned at Reno and suggested, "So, I can just practice on yours! I mean, you _are_ here and you _are_ who I was practicing for, so it makes sense!"

"What if you mess it up?" Reno teased, running his fingers down to work Kadaj's pants open the rest of the way.

"I _won't_!" Kadaj gasped, offended, a furious blush on his cheeks. "How can you even think such a thing!"

"Well, there is the yucky stuff to consider," Reno reminded him.

Kadaj frowned again.

He hadn't thought of _that_. The cucumber performed no such obscenity…

"You can always change your mind," Reno purred, working Kadaj's pants down.

"_No_!" he protested, pouting stubbornly. "I'm _going_ to practice and you're _going_ to like it and you're _going_ to make me not grounded anymore!"

"Is that a fact?" Reno asked, amused.

"Yes!" Kadaj primly told him, trying to be snooty but failing miserably since he was mostly naked and shivering a little in the cool air. He rallied himself and sat up, kicking his pants off and trying in vain to shove Reno over, grunting. "_Work. With._ _ME_!"

Reno gamely rolled onto his back with a snort of laughter, his hair pooling beneath his neck as Kadaj straddled him, blowing his silver bangs out of his face with a huff and saying, "_Well_. That's better!"

"You got a great intro, by the way," Reno remarked, stretching _way_ out to reach the nightstand and his cigarettes. He lit one up while Kadaj pondered the possible compliments inherent in such a comment and promptly decided there were none.

"_Hey_!" he said, giving Reno a severe glare he'd been practicing (he'd picked it up from the Principal Lady). "I'll have you _know_ that I have been practicing _technique_. Yazoo insisted."

"He better have!" the man laughed, grinning and blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth.

Kadaj waved his hand and wrinkled his nose, managing now to sound snooty when he said, "That smells."

"You're still grounded."

Reminded of his purpose, he wrestled Reno out of his shirt, his round cheeks red with effort.

"You're being difficult on purpose!" he accused, _finally_ managing to get Reno naked to the waist. He wriggled back, nearly falling off of the bed as he got the man's pants pulled down over his sinewy hips and yanked them free with a crow of victory. He grinned widely at Reno and said with no small amount of satisfaction, "_There_!"

"You sure showed me," Reno chuckled, moving to stub out his cigarette and then lounging back on his elbows, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Yes, I did," Kadaj agreed, and frowned a little at Reno's groin. Divesting Reno of his clothing had gotten him partially hard, but by no means up to the usual.

"Does this technique of yours involve staring at my cock?"

Kadaj flushed and giggled a little, actually just a bit nervous now. If he teased Reno in bed, Yazoo was always there to pick up the slack when things got too much for him. But Yazoo was doing other stuff.

Kadaj would have to take care of this on his own.

Determined, he slid up between the vee of Reno's slender legs, letting his small fingers tickle up his soft skin. Muscles twitched and Reno's smirk widened to a soft smile, his lids lowering over his eyes in that way Kadaj loved to see. His body stirred the closer Kadaj's hands got to him, and it got more flushed and firm, stretching up onto his lean belly to rest there heavily, the skin of his sac tightening.

Kadaj concentrated, brows drawn as he teased his fingers over Reno's skin the way Yazoo said he liked, light little circles all around, faint, brushing touches where the thickness of it met the bulge of his balls.

"You're getting better," Reno conceded, his voice thick with growing need, his breathing unsteady. He stayed propped up on his elbows, his head tipped down to watch Kadaj, whose delicate face held that look of utter concentration, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

Kadaj beamed at the praise and leaned close, once more comparing the relative size of Reno's hard body to his own. People told him all of the time he had a big mouth, but _this_ was just pushing it.

"What's wrong?" Reno asked, and his white teeth showed in a sharp, teasing grin. "_Scared_?"

"_No_!" Kadaj cried, offended. He gave it another dubious look and asked, "Do you think you could…_you know_—make it smaller?"

"_Smaller_?" Reno echoed, surprised for once.

"More…_user friendly_!" the boy said, his smile bright because, frankly, he thought it was the best idea in the history of ever.

Reno chuckled and confirmed, "You want my cock to be smaller and more user friendly?"

"Well…it isn't very _practical_, now is it?" Kadaj pointed out, and demonstrated by sliding his hand around the heavy thickness. He tried without luck to get his fingers to touch his thumb. "See? And you know what they say about more than a handful!"

"That's for tits, you dork," Reno snorted, and muttered to himself, "_Impractical_."

"I'm not saying it's _bad_," Kadaj explained, hoping he hadn't hurt Reno's feelings. "I'm just saying that maybe it's a little…_oversized_. I mean, I'm not _complaining_, I'm just trying to tell you in a nice way that it's _way_ too big without actually _saying_ so!"

Reno gave him a weary look and ventured, "So, you're trying to be _subtle_?"

Kadaj's face lit up and he gasped, "Oh, _that's_ what that means!"

His older lover sighed and slumped down on the mattress, defeated.

"Yes, _subtle_!" the boy crowed, delighted. "I'm trying to _subtly _tell you that your thing is too big. How did I do?"

"Needs some work," Reno said, smirking at him with one eyebrow lifted. "But you're getting there."

"Yay!" Kadaj cried, and clapped a little, happy with his improvement. Settling down, he looked at Reno and said, "I'll wait," expecting him to rectify the size issue right away.

Instead, Reno laughed at him so hard that tears came out of his blue eyes.

Kadaj wanted to be mad about it, but Reno leaned up and dragged him to his chest and the boy didn't have the strength to resist. He laughed with god, not really understanding what was so funny, but he didn't really care. It felt really _good_ to laugh, and Reno had, apparently, given up on plans to practice because he rolled over on top of Kadaj, kissing him in between deep chuckles.

"You are a nutter," the man decided, and Kadaj grinned at him, shrugging a little. Those blue eyes gazed down at him, warm and loving, and Reno softly said, "I hope you don't grow up too fast, Kadaj. Yazoo and I would be lost without you."

"Silly, I'm not going anywhere!" Kadaj snorted, wriggling beneath him because the sticky-hot feeling of Reno's hard body resting on his got him all wiggly and tingly. "Why would I?"

Reno didn't answer, he just ducked his head and kissed Kadaj again, his warm, wet tongue making the boy forget everything else. Reno's strong, lithe body was surprisingly heavy, all lean muscle on his slender frame. Kadaj didn't worry about being squished, though—Reno was always careful.

That full heat pulsed against his and Kadaj purred, the tingles spreading. He lifted his strong arms around Reno's shoulders and swept his palms down his back, feeling tense muscle and smooth skin.

"I love it here with you and Yazoo," he sighed, giggling a little to feel Reno's tickling lips move to his jaw and down his throat, those clever hands stroking his sides. His big eyes swept closed and he relaxed, absently pulling his fingers through Reno's long ponytail.

"You're making me do all the work here," the man murmured, but he didn't seem to mind. His warm lips and sharp teeth drifted down to tease one pert little nipple, his calloused fingertips tracing circles on Kadaj's hip.

"Well, that's ok," Kadaj dreamily said. "There's always next time."

Reno chuckled again and his warm breath washed over Kadaj's wet skin, making him moan a little, his small back arching to press harder to his slender lover's.

"You're so lazy," Reno breathed, like that was a _bad_ thing, but it didn't stop him from slipping his arms beneath Kadaj's body and hefting him up right ways on the bed.

Kadaj wriggled away from him enough to slip his hand down between them, his fingers lightly brushing over the swollen head of Reno's body. The man tightened and sighed, his hips lifting to give him better access while Kadaj's warm hand stroked and teased. Even though he couldn't get his hand around it, he still gave it a gentle squeeze on the upstroke, milking his palm the way Yazoo always did to _his_.

"There you go," Reno groaned, and sucked on Kadaj's throat. "He been teaching you hand jobs, too?"

"I learned that myself," Kadaj said, smug. "You should do that to me, too."

"_You_ should do it to you," Reno suggested.

"Why?" Kadaj paused, momentarily distracted.

"Because I like to see it," the man told him, lifting himself up off of Kadaj to lie next to him.

Kadaj blushed furiously and whispered, "I can't with you _watching_!"

"I do it to you," he laughed. "What's the difference?"

Since he really couldn't find a suitable argument, Kadaj decided to drop it, but his heart thundered and his own body was insistently throbbing against his belly.

"You really like to see it?" he asked, hesitant.

Reno gave him a solemn but amused nod and purred, "It'll make it go faster."

Well _that_ won Kadaj over. Sometimes, Reno would still be pounding away _long_ after Kadaj had gotten all the fun out of things that he could get.

"Here," the man said, and slid his arm under Kadaj's head, drawing the boy against the length of his warm body and looming over him. He kissed Kadaj again, all hot tongue and nipping teeth, giving him a chance to get started without those sultry blue eyes on him.

Kadaj cautiously let go of Reno's full, flushed sex and let his slender fingers tickle down to touch himself, twitching a little and gasping into Reno's mouth.

The man voiced a soft, aroused moan and kissed him harder, his arm flexing a little beneath Kadaj's head, his free hand tickling the boy's inner thigh.

Purring, Kadaj slowly forgot his embarrassment and grasped himself firmly, wriggling and whimpering because it felt so good, deep and sweet blossoms of pleasure swelling up from his groin all the way through his lower belly.

"Yeah, that's it! Fuck, that's hot," Reno breathed, shifting one leg over Kadaj's so that his heavy, straining sex fell forward onto the boy's slim thigh and hip. He lifted his head and watched, his hungry, hot eyes following the steady, slow rub of Kadaj's hand. "You like it, Princess? It's nice to touch, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Kadaj breathlessly agreed, back arching a little, his strong hand working. He yelped a complaint when Reno pried his fingers off to give his palm a sloppy, wet lick, but practically melted when his slippery hand was firmly closed back over his eager sex. With every pull it made a wet, slick sound that Reno seemed to like, if the unsteady hitch of his breathing was any indication.

"That's good," the man purred, and his hard body twitched hard against Kadaj's thigh, leaving a sticky trail on his skin as it pulsed and moved.

It felt so good that Kadaj decided to do it a lot more often, and he didn't even mind Reno watching anymore because he certainly had the man's undivided attention and that suited him just fine. Pressure built beneath the quickening pace of his hand, the throbbing ache in his balls making him sob and tense, hurting for that delicious explosion. Squeezing his palm around his head made him gasp, his hips jerking, his thigh lifting against Reno's hard sex in a way that made the man grunt a little in surprise and shove against him, wanting more of the same. When two of Reno's fingers slid into his mouth, Kadaj didn't think, he just sucked, eyes rolling, whimpering around them, his tongue frantic.

"Quick, quick," Reno urged, and yanked them free when he'd had enough. Those same wet fingers slid behind Kadaj's tight sac and curved up inside him, delving deep.

"_Oh my god_!" Kadaj squealed, eyes popping wide and body bowing.

"Keep it up, there's a good boy," Reno whispered, panting against Kadaj's temple, his eyes greedily taking it in as Kadaj picked up his broken rhythm. Those fingers rubbed and touched and teased, putting pressure on that sweet-spot inside Kadaj until his cries grew loud and unrestrained. "Talk to me, baby! Tell me!"

"_Oh my god_!" Kadaj cried again, teeth clenching in time with his body around Reno's fingers, his thighs tightening as he started to hit his peak. His hand moved with frantic need, so fast and hard it almost hurt, but those fingers stayed slow and steady within him, making him writhe wildly on the bed and loudly beg, "Please, daddy! Oh, _please_ let me cum!"

"You like it baby?" Reno asked, his voice tight and husky. "You like daddy's fingers in you?"

"_God_, yes!" Kadaj gasped, jerking hard, nearly there, trying to hold it off until Reno said he could.

"But you like daddy's cock even more, don't you?"

"_Yes, yes_!" Kadaj cried, shuddering hard, hips jerking up and shoving back down as he tried to get those fingers to move faster, _deeper_.

"Tell me you love it," Reno whispered, wetting his lips with is pink tongue, eyes glued to Kadaj's fist and flushed, swollen sex. "Tell me what you want."

"I love it, daddy," the boy moaned, panting, _needing_. "I want you inside me!"

"You want me to fuck you?" Reno asked, and his heavy sex pushed hard into Kadaj's thigh without him moving, sheer arousal making it twitch and jerk. "_Ask me_!"

"_Please, daddy, fuck me_!" Kadaj wailed, sweaty and panting, on the cusp of an incredible orgasm.

"Cum for me, Princess," Reno said, and plunged his fingers deep.

Kadaj's teeth clenched and his back bowed, his frantic hand working until it all burst out of him. His mouth parted on hoarse, noisy cries as yucky-gross spilled over his fist, splattering his belly in hot, heavy globs. His jade eyes rolled back and his body quaked, shuddering, spasms running through his muscles as the pleasure peaked and peaked, so good it almost hurt him, a sustained and aching sensation that broke his voice into sharp, plaintive little cries.

Reno's hard cock gave another fierce pulse against him and the man urgently praised, "_Good boy_! There's my baby boy…"

Kadaj was too exhausted to respond to him. His body slumped down in liquid, post-orgasmic bliss, his lids half lowered and his mouth parted, his strong little chest heaving with his panting breath. He didn't even care when Reno rolled him up, lifting his dainty feet to the man's strong shoulders so that his bottom lay open and exposed. He shivered when Reno's hand slid along his belly, gathering up his cum to make himself slick, and he moaned to feel the fat, throbbing head of his cock push inside.

"You got me going, baby," the man tightly said, and slid to the balls inside of him.

Kadaj yelped but he was too relaxed for it to hurt him. He curled his toes into the firm muscles of Reno's shoulders and purred, his arms spreading to diffuse the force of Reno's deep, urgent thrusts. Reno didn't usually like taking Kadaj face-to-face because he couldn't get as deep as he liked, but the sight of Kadaj masturbating for him had gotten him more than ready so that even this would suffice.

Kadaj gazed at Reno through his lashes and smirked a little, remembering something that Yazoo had told him. Slyly, he reached under himself when Reno yanked him up and squeezed his hand around the underside of Reno's cock that _wasn't_ sinking inside him. He couldn't do much more than just rub against heavy veins and the tight tendon, but Reno jerked hard against him and gave a throaty groan that made Kadaj's tingles start again.

"Oh, you're working on me, aren't you?" the man panted, grinning down at Kadaj's impish smile, his eyes closing as the pleasure started to build. "_Fuck_, that's good, Kadaj! Keep it up, baby! Keep it up!"

"Mmm," the boy moaned, and wriggled against him, because Yazoo had said that Reno liked it when he moved with him. He'd also said that Reno liked dirty talk, but Kadaj didn't know why talking about dirty things would be so stimulating. Still, it was worth a try…"I bet Yazoo is in there making a mess of the living room…"

"_What_?" Reno gasped, confused. But he'd already been close, and the steady rub of Kadaj's clever little hand made him abruptly pull tight in a spasm of muscle as he started to cum. His teeth clenched hard and his long back pulsed as his hips surged roughly into Kadaj's body. The searing, amazing feeling of unloading from the balls up made him pant and push, forcing every bit of himself he could fit into Kadaj's tight backside. Straining and tense, he pulsed and pulsed, emptying himself so hard that spots danced along the edges of his vision.

"I bet he's positively _filthy_," Kadaj informed him, pleased that his dirty talk had worked so well.

Reno uttered a breathless little laugh and slumped forward on top of him, not even hazarding a guess as to where this latest oddity had come from. He lay there atop Kadaj, shuddering softly in the aftermath, letting those slender legs drop from his shoulders.

"Is that part of your technique?" he finally asked, startling Kadaj, who'd been thinking of other dirty things to talk about. "Talking about your brother cleaning?"

"Yazoo said you liked dirty talk," the boy answered, and gloated, "It really worked, didn't it?"

Reno chuckled, but he didn't have the heart to correct him.

"Remind me to talk to your brother about your education," he sighed.

"Okay." Kadaj really didn't see why Reno was thinking about school at a time like this, but the odd man _was_ god—he probably had to think about all kinds of things all of the time anyway. "Am I not grounded, now?"

"Only if you promise to practice on that cucumber for me," Reno said, and leaned up to kiss him.

"Yay!" Kadaj cried, and wriggled out from underneath him to go get his cucumber.


	30. Not Like You

With the awful tedium of being grounded for a whole two days behind him, Kadaj bounced back into his life as a very busy and very important person, which was something that he took great relish in reminding both Reno and Yazoo of when they would find some reason to laugh at him.

But one day at school he was exposed to something that he'd never heard of before, and he hadn't wanted to seem _stupid_ in front of his friends so he hadn't asked about it. Instead, he'd brought his invitation home to Yazoo and the two of them had looked at it in consternation.

"You should ask Reno," Yazoo suggested, at a loss. "I'm sorry, I have no idea…"

"She seemed really excited," Kadaj said, bewildered. "It must be a good thing. I mean, it _is_ a party and parties are fun, I just…I wonder why it has such a weird name."

Yazoo shrugged a little and said, "He's not really busy, he won't mind _you_ asking."

The unusual bitterness in Yazoo's voice made Kadaj cock his head, but his pretty brother had already turned away with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, then," he said, and crept into the bedroom where Reno was at his little-used desk, cigarette in hand and a frown on his lean face. He was Taking Care of the Bills—something that Yazoo offered to do but that Reno, as the man of the house, felt was his own sole responsibility.

He hated to bother him, but since his question had already gotten nothing but a blank look from his elder brother, that only left god.

"Reno?" he whispered, and repeated himself in a stage-whisper to be heard over the man's obvious concentration.

Reno glanced up to see Kadaj hanging in the doorway, his pretty little face frowning and questions in his big jade eyes.

"S'up, baby?" he asked, pushing away from the desk and stubbing out his smoke. He patted his thigh in invitation and Kadaj wriggled to sit in his lap, still frowning, his head cocked a little to one side. "Something bugging you, Princess?"

"No—Yes, maybe?" Kadaj offered, suddenly feeling silly to ask what seemed so obvious to other people. "Reno? What's a birthday?"

Reno blew out his breath in a heavy sigh, brows drawing down in thought.

"Yeah. Guess that one kinda got past you three, huh?"

"Did it?" Kadaj asked, not sure what he meant. "Is it a holiday, like All Souls and Stupid Pumpkins Day? I got invited to a celebration for it…"

"Kinda," Reno conceded, rubbing Kadaj's slender back and giving him a soft smile. "You know what being born is?"

"_Gross_—that's what it is!" Kadaj declared. He'd been sent home from school in hysterics the day that Health Class had played a video of a woman giving birth. He'd been horrified by it and had demanded not to be further offended by the supposed 'beautiful miracle' that just looked nasty and _icky _and _way_ more frightening than Reno's horror movies!

Reno grinned at him. It had cost him more flirting but he'd bailed Kadaj out of his tight-spot and had teased him mercilessly about babies ever since.

"Well, the day a baby is born is its birthday, and families celebrate every year on that day because they're happy remembering when the baby was born," Reno told him, watching comprehension light Kadaj's big eyes. "They have cake and give the kid presents—"

"_Presents_?!" Kadaj gasped, utterly snared by the thought of it. He gave Reno a searching look, as if such a magical day couldn't possibly exist, but it was clear that god was serious. "You get presents just for being squeezed out of a woman's _downstairs_? Reno! That's _the best thing ever_! _I_ want a birthday!"

Reno smiled at his excitement and said, "Well, we'll have to make a birthday for you, then."

Kadaj's pretty face fell in sudden realization and he sadly reminded, "But I was never born, Reno…We just…_were_."

"So?" the man countered, rocking him a little and tickling his slender sides until Kadaj laughed so hard he snorted—which he _hated_ because _people_ didn't snort only _pigs_ did. "Birthdays are kinda like excuses to make people feel special, and you and your brothers are special to _me_, so I think I can bend the rules a little."

"Well, you _are_ god," Kadaj tossed in, and gave him an impish smile. "Can I really have Kadaj Day?"

Reno laughed softly and stroked his hair before he kissed his soft little cheek and said, "Sure thing, Princess—Kadaj Day and then Yazoo Day and Loz Day, too."

"Yay!" Kadaj cried, excited. He wiggled around in Reno lap and said, "Okay, give me my presents!"

Reno laughed at him, holding his slender body steady, and told him, "Princess, birthdays involve parties and some heads-up for people to go shopping. How 'bout we give your little pals at school some invitations and throw you a real birthday party after the Solstice stuff dies down? You like that plan?"

"Will I get lots of presents?" Kadaj asked, wanting to be sure he wouldn't miss out on anything.

"Yep!" Reno told him, grinning. "If you can wait until the new year, that is."

"That's _forever_!" Kadaj wailed, stymied. "Why can't Kadaj Day be this weekend?"

"Because Solstice vacation starts next week and your little friends will be busy," Reno told him. "Get up, now, I need to finish this and get ready."

"You're going out tonight?" Kadaj asked, sliding out of his lap and pouting a little.

"Not your business," Reno reminded, scooting his chair back in and getting back to The Bills.

Kadaj frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, invitation in hand, and declared, "Well, it's _Yazoo__'s_ business!"

"How ya figure?" Reno murmured, intent on his papers.

"Well, he _is_ a grownup and you two _are_ together!" Kadaj said, huffing a little because this was such an obvious point he wasn't sure how Reno could miss it.

"That don't mean shit, Kadaj," Reno told him, and Kadaj was just about to give him a piece of his mind when Yazoo softly cut in, "I thought I would make chicken for dinner, if that's ok."

Kadaj uttered a little yip of alarm but stopped himself from hollering at Yazoo for being sneaky—from the look on his face he'd heard Reno's statement and it had hurt his feelings, probably more than it had offended Kadaj.

"I won't be here, I'm going out," Reno said, unperturbed.

"Oh…" Yazoo said, his green eyes sad. "Alright, then."

He left the room and Kadaj waited until he'd gone before he hissed at Reno, "You hurt his feelings!"

Reno looked up at him and shooed him with one hand, ignoring his statement.

"Reno!" Kadaj cried, stamping his foot. "Go tell him you're just going out tonight! That you're not going to be letting some stranger worship you!"

"No," Reno told him, stacking the sealed envelopes neatly against the back of the desk so that Yazoo could mail them in the morning.

"_Why_?!" Kadaj fumed, furious.

"Because I won't lie to him," Reno said, and just got up and went to go shower like Kadaj wasn't even in the middle of making a point!

"Oh, you…you…_meanie_!" he cried, irritated when the bathroom door slammed. When he heard the latch flip he stomped over to the door and kicked it, hollering, "That's what I think of you! You big mean doody-head!"

"Fuck off out of my room, Kadaj," Reno called, turning on the shower. "Or I'll spank the ever lovin' sass out of you when I get out."

Still aggravated, the boy turned around and flounced out of the room, searching for Yazoo.

He found his brother in the kitchen chopping onions with more vigor than they probably deserved, his mouth tight and his eyes narrow.

"I don't think he meant that," Kadaj said, matter-of-factly. "He's just in a rotten mood, probably because he has to go out tonight."

"I seriously doubt _that_ has him in a bad mood," Yazoo said, not buying Kadaj's version of things. "He's in a bad mood because he _hasn't_ been out in awhile and he wants to be with someone other than me."

"I don't think that's true!" Kadaj cried, offended. "Why on earth would he _want_ to be with someone instead of us? That just doesn't make sense—"

"Not _us_, Kadaj!" Yazoo grimly corrected. "_Me_!"

"But, Yazoo," Kadaj protested, starting to worry because his brother sounded _serious_, like he actually _believed_ the nonsense he was saying. "Reno never tells me he wants to be away from us or makes me feel like that so I don't understand why you wou—"

"I'm not _like_ you, Kadaj!" Yazoo exclaimed, and slammed the knife down onto the cutting board with a loud clatter. He took a deep, unsteady breath and said, "People love you, Kadaj. They love you without you even having to _try_. Not everyone is so lucky, little brother—some of us have to work hard just to get the scraps."

He picked up the knife and started chopping again, his slender shoulders tight.

"I don't understand," Kadaj told him again, coming closer. He was bewildered by Yazoo's assumptions, confused by his brother's viewpoint. "Reno loves you, Yazoo. He loved you first, he loves you _best_."

"Not like he loves everyone else, not like he loves _you_," Yazoo murmured, picking up the chopped onions and tossing them into skillet so that they sizzled and popped. "I take care of things, Kadaj. I keep the apartment clean, I have his clothes dry-cleaned, I fix meals for him and keep the bar stocked. I make sure that everything is clean and ready for him to use. It's the only thing I do that makes me different."

"Different?" Kadaj asked, starting to catch on.

"From any other person he's sleeping with," Yazoo whispered, and stirred the onions for a little while before shaking in long strips of chicken. "If I _don't_ keep things perfect for him…well, he'd have no reason to keep me here, would he?"

"Yes he would," Kadaj protested, upset. "He _loves_ you, Yazoo! All that other stuff you do is just a bonus…isn't it?"

"I'm not like you, Kadaj," Yazoo softly said again, and gave him a sad, lonely look. "I have to work for him to love me or risk losing what little I have of him…"

"Yazoo," Kadaj whispered, sad for him and still so perplexed by how he could think such a thing. He wanted to ask Reno if it was true but figured Yazoo would julienne him with that knife if he so much as uttered a peep to god about it…but if Reno was god, wouldn't he already _know_? And if he knew, then why didn't he do something about it? Unless…unless Yazoo was really right… "That _can't_ be true! Just _ask_ him and you'll see! He'll _tell_ you it's not true, just—"

"You _don't_ understand, and you'll never have to," Yazoo said, intent on his work. "People will love you no matter what you do, Kadaj, you're just _like_ that. And I will have to keep hoarding every crumb of it I get because _I'm_ just like _that_."

Stunned, Kadaj just hesitated there in the doorway, wanting to hug him but knowing Yazoo didn't want to be touched right now.

"You'll never know what it's like to not count," Yazoo whispered, and added. "Why do you think I've been telling you so much about Reno, Kadaj?"

"W…why?" Kadaj asked, his chest and throat tight.

Yazoo didn't answer him, he just stirred the contents of the pan with his eyes closed and his brow furrowed.

"_Please_! Just _ask_ him—"

"Ask me what?" Reno demanded, pausing in the hallway and glancing at his watch with wide, sparkling eyes.

Kadaj looked at him and said with dismay, "Wow, you look really delicious, Reno…"

Well, there went his theory about Reno not _wanting_ to go out.

"That wasn't a question, but thank you," the man said, and ruffled his hair. "See ya later, Princess. Bye, Yazoo."

"Bye," Kadaj weakly said as Reno vanished from view. A few moments later the door slammed closed and Kadaj turned to Yazoo. "Why didn't you ask him?"

Yazoo sighed heavily and gave Kadaj a long look before he whispered, "I don't _have_ to ask, Kadaj. I just don't have to."


	31. Panty Problems and Angry Rude

As winter closed in on them Kadaj found himself with less and less opportunity to go visit his Tifa, and thus the threat of Cloud's interference burned down to a low glow. The harsh, unpleasant weather made bike rides impossible, and school let out for two weeks for the Solstice holiday, which meant lots of presents for some unknown reason.

Deprived of his friends and the social contact of school, the boy found himself with too much time and too little to distract him except for pestering his two older lovers with dedicated stubbornness and demanding an early Solstice present on a daily basis.

But ever since that bewildering talk in the kitchen with Yazoo, things were really _weird_ around Reno's home. Yazoo – so euphoric after the wonderful dinner party had gotten worked out – seemed to dwindle down into monosyllables and, often, tears.

Kadaj was beginning to move past thinking it tiresome and on to thinking it alarming, because he loved Yazoo more than anything but himself, and he hated to see his pretty brother so unhappy. Not even the promise of Solstice and presents could erase the nagging worry he felt whenever he saw Yazoo staring out of the window like he wished he was anywhere but where he was right now.

It was even affecting worshiping, much to Reno's annoyance, even though he was rarely at home to _be_ worshiped, anymore. More often than not he was gone in the evenings, leaving Kadaj alone with his sad, silent brother, and not returning until they were already up the next day and doing things.

Kadaj didn't know what to do about it. He wanted Yazoo to talk to Reno and tell him what the problem was, but on the other hand he figured that if Reno really was god, then he should already see it and take care of it. The man wasn't blind to Yazoo's quiet decline, but if it bothered him, he never showed it. He was as affectionate with Yazoo as always, and Yazoo was always so grateful for his attention that he would melt into a mindless mess until Reno went out again, sleek and dangerous and clearly on the prowl.

It all came to a head one evening when Reno came home early for the first time in a very long while. He'd gotten off of work and had come straight home to them, while dinner was still warm, even! And both Kadaj and Yazoo were overjoyed while greeting him at the door.

Reno kissed each of them soundly and sauntered to his chair, stretching out with a relieved sigh and saying to Kadaj, "Grab me my smokes, baby."

Kadaj felt a little giddy to see him, and was rather annoyed to be sent on a stinky cigarette gathering escapade when he'd rather be curled up in god's lap telling him all about his science project.

Since he didn't really feel like scouring the house for a pack of cigarettes, he went to where Yazoo had hung Reno's suit jacket and dug in the pocket for the pack he knew would be in there. He closed his hand around a bundle of cloth and pulled it out, brows drawn in consternation when he saw a pair of women's underwear in his hand – more specifically, a pale pink thong.

"Reno, why is there icky _underwear_ in your _pocket_?" he loudly complained, glancing over at the man who was lounging back in his recliner with Yazoo perched on the arm next to him.

Yazoo went utterly still, as if he'd been frozen.

Reno laughed a little and told him, "Because it was the closest place to stuff them when it sounded like someone would interrupt. Just throw them away…and hurry up with those smokes!"

"Don't you want to keep them?" Yazoo asked, and there was a soft malice in his voice that paused Kadaj, making him glance nervously from one to the other. "You know, like a memento – maybe you should dedicate the guest bedroom to it, you're going to need plenty of room."

Kadaj wished he hadn't brought it up. Yazoo still had that eerie tranquility about him as he moved away from the chair. Before he got very far Reno reached out and grabbed his wrist, squeezing hard enough that Yazoo winced.

It wasn't a game this time, wasn't playing, and Kadaj got seriously upset seeing the hurt on his brother's face and the cold, inscrutable look on Reno's.

"Don't fight," he whimpered, but his voice was too soft for them to hear.

Yazoo wouldn't look at him, and Reno finally let him go with a disgusted sigh, telling him, "We're not having this fucking conversation again, Yazoo. It is what it is and you'll fucking deal with it. The end."

Yazoo's head was down and his back was to Reno, but Kadaj saw the tight, unhappy smile that crossed his brother's lips and knew it to be an echo of scary Sephiroth's. He wasn't sure exactly what it meant, but anything about that man was bad news, and he was suddenly very worried that Yazoo might do something _awful_.

His older brother went into the bedroom, and Kadaj hurried to throw away those offending panties, wash his hands, and get Reno his smokes.

He was hesitant to approach him, not really wanting any of that sharp, cold anger to reflect onto him, but Reno took his cigarettes without a word of rebuke and patted Kadaj absently on the bottom before lighting one.

Torn between an unhappy god and a suffering brother, Kadaj hesitated at Reno's side, still leery enough of him to be scared of trying to sit in his lap or talk to him. Reno's temper wasn't something he really saw a lot of, but when he did it cowed him and made him…well, _scared_ of him.

Yazoo came out of the bedroom wearing his coat and pulling on his gloves, working his fingers into the tight leather. He had his scarf around his throat and a biker cap perched atop his sleek head. His silver hair was in disarray, spilling over his shoulders and the folds of his white scarf in attractive waves. Kadaj was momentarily too stunned by how pretty he looked to react to his obvious intentions, and by the time he managed to draw Reno's attention to it, Yazoo was already out the door.

"The fuck?" Reno asked, hearing the apartment door close. He gave Kadaj a hard look and asked, "Did Yazoo just come through here?"

Kadaj nodded urgently, ready to bolt, eyes wild.

Reno glared at the empty hallway. For a long time he didn't do anything, but then he stood abruptly and shoved past Kadaj, heading for the entryway.

"Are you going after him?" he asked, shaking with nerves. He _really_ didn't like it when Reno was mad, but he _really_ didn't want Yazoo to get into trouble and he wasn't sure how Reno would act towards him – he'd never hurt either one of them outside the realm of games and carefully explained punishments, but the light in his blue eyes screamed merciless death and Yazoo was in none too good of a mood either.

"_Always_," Reno bit out, leaving his suit jacket where it was hanging and pulling on his long winter trench coat, buttoning it with quick, angry fingers and knotting the sash with a hard jerk of his wrists.

"I want to come!" Kadaj cried, and almost cringed when Reno looked at him.

Something of his fear seemed to reach Reno, whose anger drained away to a peculiar sadness.

"Come here," he said, and held out one long, white hand.

Kadaj hesitated, and asked, "Are you okay?"

Reno's features tightened, but it wasn't Kadaj he was upset with. His delicate fingers shook a little, and he answered, "Yeah. Come here."

Kadaj slowly went to him, throwing himself against Reno's chest and shivering.

"I always said you didn't have to be afraid, yo," Reno told him, and hugged him close. "Then I go and make you scared…"

"I don't want you two to fight!" Kadaj told him, hiding his face in cool leather.

Reno said nothing, he just gave Kadaj a squeeze and pushed him back a step.

"Please let me come?"

The man frowned, but nodded a little, putting on his gloves and fishing his keys out while Kadaj bundled into his marshmallow coat and floppy hat.

They left the apartment, Kadaj trotting to keep up with Reno's long-legged strides. Ever the vigilant one, Frank offered from the security desk, "He took a left, Reno."

"Thanks, yo," Reno called, holding the regular door open for Kadaj so he wouldn't be tempted to waste time spinning circles in the revolving one.

They stepped out into the bitter cold, snowflakes swirling around them so thick it was hard to see.

"How're we going to find him?" Kadaj wailed, angry at the weather and worried for Yazoo.

"I'll find him," Reno assured him, but his voice sounded angry again, so Kadaj shut up.

Trailing Reno, Kadaj tried to look around at where he was at. He'd never really gone down this direction before since everything else he needed was the _opposite_ direction, and he was kinda glad he hadn't—this side of Edge was seedy and ugly, the people resentful-looking and ill-kempt. When one person (who smelled like rotten fish and was so dirty it was hard to tell if he even _had_ skin) leered at Kadaj, the boy slipped up closer to Reno, relieved when one long, slender arm moved to cup his back.

"Why don't you love Yazoo?" he asked, trying to distract himself from those ugly, glaring people and wondering why on _earth_ Yazoo would come to such a place.

"I _do_ love Yazoo, you little shit," Reno told him, pausing at the cracked sidewalk to cast about, hesitating at the four-way split.

"Do you love _everyone_ you do _that_ with?" Kadaj asked, because he honestly couldn't figure the situation out. Reno loved Yazoo, and so did Kadaj, and they both loved Reno back and were more than sufficient to make one another happy…so why did Reno always feel compelled to find affection elsewhere and spurn his two dedicated lovers?

"Not even close," Reno answered, making his decision and heading down the street.

"But…" Kadaj hesitated, not sure how to word it. "Then why do you do it with people who don't love you? Why so much when they don't care? When it makes Yazoo sad because you don't love him?"

"I _do_ love him, stop saying that, Kadaj!" Reno snapped.

"Well," the boy reasoned, lost in his own roundabout way of sorting things through. "Yazoo loves you and so you let him worship, but you let people who _don't_ love you worship, too, so how is Yazoo special, then, if you treat him the same way you treat everyone else?"

"Holy fucking _shit_, Kadaj! _Shut it_!" Reno breathed, giving him a rough squeeze that made him squeak. "Just so you know, you nosy little fucker, I haven't ever fucked around on Yazoo, yo!"

"But what about—"

"Work," Reno snapped, and Kadaj's face fell into an O of surprise.

"But that's like—"

"Yeah," he shortly said, slinging Kadaj around a corner to try a new direction.

"So, you don't—"

"_No_," Reno said, and sounded _really_ unhappy. "It is what it is. Business."

"Oh," Kadaj said, at a loss. In a small, soft voice he asked, "Why haven't you told Yazoo? You know how much it hurts him to know you're with other people…why not just tell him?"

"What fucking difference would it make if I do it on purpose or for ShinRa?" Reno demanded, disgusted with the whole plan. "How am I supposed to tell Yazoo that he isn't competing with other people, he's competing with my _job_? He wouldn't take it any better than he takes this, yo. You keep your fucking mouth shut about it, Kadaj, or I'll make sure you won't eat ice cream again until you're thirty-fucking-five, got it?"

Kadaj nodded, breathing, "Wow, you're seriously creased."

"No shit," Reno snapped, and they headed down towards a row of loud, boisterous bars.

"Well, I think when we find him, you should _apologize_," Kadaj suggested. "Because I'm pretty sure you broke his heart. He _really_ believes that you don't care about him, Reno. That all he's good for is cleaning up, doing laundry, and making meals."

"Friggin' _maid_ service," Reno laughed, snorting a little at the absurdity of it.

Kadaj glared at him.

Reno stopped laughing.

"You can't be fucking serious, yo," he said, appalled, stopping dead in his tracks.

Kadaj assured him that he was, indeed, fucking serious, _yo_.

"That's fucking _ridiculous_!" Reno spat, offended that Yazoo could believe such silly things. "You're telling me that your brother honestly believes that the only reason _he_ lives here instead of some _other_ person I'm fucking is because he's better at _chores_?"

"As far as I can understand it," Kadaj told him, idly gathering some snowflakes in the palm of his mitten.

Reno just stared off into space, his head cocked thoughtfully.

"Well," he finally said. "That explains a lot, yo."

Maybe it was all of the snow or maybe it was how upset Reno was, but being God didn't help them find Yazoo. Kadaj's slender, delicate brother was nowhere to be found, and they eventually returned to the apartment, shivering and frozen through.

They spent the night in restless wakefulness, but Yazoo did not return.

The next morning Reno called in to work and there was an announcement that most everything was closed because of the snow. In fact, all of Edge shut down because they weren't prepared to handle the unusually wet and cold winter.

Kadaj worked ahead on his homework for when school started up again, one ear trained on the phone.

Reno watched television without seeing it, not even paying attention.

All in all, it was a terribly boring Friday.

They ate a late lunch of leftovers and Kadaj cried over it, snuffling and thinking of how just yesterday Yazoo had made it, his prim little apron that Kadaj always teased him about tied at his waist, his funny, pretty look of consternation when the pilot light went out and the subsequent drama of he and Kadaj trying to figure out what on earth had gone wrong. They'd laughed about it, and Kadaj had been so happy because _Yazoo_ had been happy. It hurt to think of it.

Reno frowned at Kadaj's tears but didn't tease him. He wasn't in any mood to play or even comfort, and left his food mostly untouched.

Another night, and no Yazoo.

Kadaj was really starting to think that his brother might never come home again. Even Reno seemed hopeless, though he refused to go searching again. Somehow, through the course of it all, he'd gotten angry again and told Kadaj that if Yazoo wanted to come home, he'd come home.

He held Kadaj for awhile after he said it, and the boy thought about how lonely things were without his big brother. Yazoo never called attention to himself, never asked for thanks, never demanded their acknowledgment, but he'd made life so sweet with his efforts that Kadaj only just now realized how big a part of their happiness Yazoo really was. He tended to discount Yazoo because of the man's shy demeanor, his habit of minimizing himself and doing things without having to be told forty-million times. His brother had become a fixture, a part of the background, indistinguishable from the other things around it.

Kadaj miserably thought about how rotten he always was, how Yazoo had always tried so hard to be patient with him and Kadaj hadn't tried at all. What if something had happened to him? What if icky, dirty, fish-smell man had hurt Yazoo? What if he hadn't had a place to go and had been caught in all that snow? What if Kadaj never got a chance to hug him again or tell him how sorry he was that he was a mean boy?

His dark, horrified thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of the door intercom.

Reno went as still as Yazoo had during their fight, his lean body tight with tension, his face a blank mask.

Kadaj pulled away from him and hightailed it to the speaker, punching the button and babbling, "It's Kadaj!"

Over the speaker came one rough, low, and guttural word, "_Open_."

Startled, Kadaj squeaked, "_Rude_?"

"Open the door for him," Reno ordered, padding closer on his whisper-quiet boots.

Kadaj threw the bolts and the door slammed open to reveal Rude standing there in what was clearly a furious rage.

The boy immediately dashed for cover, but Rude reached out and snatched Reno's arm, growling, "Come with me. _Now_."

"Get your coat, Kadaj," Reno said, scowling but not attempting to shake Rude's grip as the man bodily dragged him out of the apartment.

Eyes wide with apprehension and amazement, Kadaj grabbed his marshmallow coat and Reno's trench-coat before he skittered after the retreating Turks, locking the door on his way out.

Rude dragged Reno with him in silence and didn't stop until he had shoved the man into the passenger side of his truck, his face set and grim.

Kadaj danced around him on the slippery ice and managed to clamber in on Reno's lap, freezing and scared but unwilling to let Rude drive Reno off into the country and kill him.

"What's going on?" he asked, afraid, curling against Reno's chest as Rude got into the truck and started it, moving it smoothly into gear and pulling into the light, late afternoon traffic.

"You scared the kid half to death," Reno said, ignoring Kadaj except to buckle the seatbelt over the both of them. "What's this about, yo?"

Rude scowled, but said nothing, and Reno popped open his glove-box to get out a stale cigarette, smoking in silence.

Kadaj nervously huddled with the coats on his lap and shivered with cold, eyes welling with tears again when he thought of Yazoo out in this horrible weather.

Reno seemed to come out of it as they drove, his eyes sharpening and his body tensing when they pulled up at the hospital.

"What is this shit?" he asked, and Kadaj could hear the low level of panic in his voice, something he'd never heard from god before.

Rude cut the engine and got out, plowing towards the hospital entrance without so much as a word.

Cursing, Reno fumbled the belt off and shoved the door open, pushing Kadaj out onto his feet and rushing out after him.

"Put your coat on," he ordered, and waited impatiently while Kadaj did so, shaking. The man snagged his hand and ran after Rude, Kadaj scampering beside him to keep up, his heart in his throat because this was the place where sick people came.

Some of them got better.

Some of them did not.

He blinked back scared tears as Rude marched inside and went to the Emergency Room entrance. When the large man reached the desk, he jerked a thumb at Reno and Kadaj and the nurse said, "Oh! You're the guardian, right? For Yazoo?"

Reno paled and Kadaj started to cry, sure that Yazoo was dead.

"Yeah, I am," Reno said, swallowing hard and absently trying to hush Kadaj. With an irritated scowl, he said to Rude, "Watch him for me, will you?"

"I need some signatures from you before we can do anything else," the nurse said, and pulled Reno with her back through some doors and out of sight.

Kadaj turned and looked at Rude, asking through his tears, "Is he okay?"

Rude didn't answer, he was staring at the door where Reno had gone, his face set and hard.

Despondent, Kadaj flopped down into a plastic chair with the coats in his lap and his wide eyes dripping tears down his soft cheeks.


	32. Not A Democracy

For the longest time Kadaj just sat there, staring down at the coat in his lap with miserable sadness. Rude eventually sat next to him and ruffled his hair before he tucked Kadaj against his side and cuddled him. He felt silly for being held like a little kid, but he was scared and he really needed it, even if he couldn't look up and tell Rude so. He was afraid that something terrible had happened to Yazoo, and with Reno gone for so long, he was almost sure of it.

Finally, Rude got up and spoke in low tones with the nurse behind the desk, nodding his head in Kadaj's direction.

"Hey, kid!" she called to him, giving him a sympathetic look. She was kind to him, seeing that he was just a boy, and terrified at that. "Go back to exam room two."

"Thank you!" Kadaj breathed, and hurried back the way she'd indicated, giving Rude a wide, relieved smile.

He padded through the curtained-off rooms, anxiously looking for Exam Room Two, and spied a familiar pair of boots behind one of the curtains. He poked his head inside and felt frightened tears rise again when he saw god looking so sad…and no trace of his brother in sight.

Reno was slumped tiredly in a chair next to an empty space where a bed had been, his head back against the wall and an expression of pained weariness on his face. When Kadaj neared he reached out and pulled him onto his lap, holding him close as much to draw comfort as to give it.

With nothing to focus his fears on and no Yazoo to be found, Kadaj lay against Reno's chest, shaking with fright for his brother.

The doctor didn't come at first, just a nurse wheeling along a railed hospital bed that held Yazoo. He was awake but just barely, his jade eyes half-lidded and glassy, a misleadingly healthy-looking flush on his high cheeks. The nurse was wearing a little face mask, and gave both Kadaj and Reno one each once she'd parked the bed and braked it.

Kadaj popped out of Reno's lap with a soft cry of relief, wanting nothing more than to snuggle his brother, so excited and happy to see him that he didn't quite remember that hospitals were where sick people went. But Reno snagged him back with a quick hand, quelling his joy somewhat, cautioning him with a look to be quiet and calm down, which only started the sick fear up again.

Reno put one of the masks on Kadaj but didn't put one on himself. Maybe god didn't have to worry about getting sick…Reno certainly didn't seem to think it mattered. The mask smelled chemical and papery and Kadaj didn't like it one bit, but when he tried to take it off Reno flicked his ear, so he left it on.

"It's just a precaution," the nurse said, seeing Kadaj's distress. She fussed with the tubes to a drippy-thing that was somehow put into Yazoo's slender arm and took notes from a beeping machine that spit out all kinds of number that Kadaj couldn't make heads or tails of. When she finally left, she called back to them, "The doctor will be with you in a little while."

Once she was gone, Reno went to the bed and cautiously took Yazoo's dainty hand in his. His delicate wrist was bound with a plastic ID tag, and one of the tubes fed into the faint blue vein that traced the top of his hand. Reno was careful of the tube, his long fingers tracing the underside of Yazoo's wrist, his other hand warmly covering Yazoo's lax fingers.

Kadaj scooted close to his other side where the beeping machine and scary tubes _weren't_. It scared him to see Yazoo so lethargic, and the reality of Yazoo's situation cut through the relief of seeing his brother again. He looked smaller somehow, lost in a sea of white, rough sheets and blankets, swimming in a blue-spotted gown that snapped at the shoulders and was way too big for his slender frame. Kadaj hung over the railing and pet his brother's hair, scared and unsure if it was okay to touch him.

"Is he gonna be okay?" he whimpered, stark fear in his pretty eyes when he looked to Reno for assurance.

Those big blue eyes flicked up to his and the man lowly said, "Yeah, baby. He's gonna be just fine. He just got sick from staying outside in all that nasty weather. He'll be right as rain before you know it, yo."

A little while later the doctor came in and called Reno away to talk to him. Kadaj was angry and upset that he didn't get included, but he didn't want to let go of Yazoo to listen. They came back shortly and soon after the nurse returned again to inject something into the tube that snaked into Yazoo's arm.

"What's that?" Kadaj asked, protective of his brother and bothered by any new thing that might make him somehow worse.

"Medicine," the nurse answered, not bothered by his sharp tone. "It will help him get better."

"Does he have to stay here?" Kadaj asked.

"Stop pestering, Kadaj," Reno told him, making way for the nurse to get around him when she left.

The doctor made some notations on a chart and nodded to himself a little, saying, "We'll keep him for a few days until he stabilizes. All in all, it could have been much worse. Be glad your friend brought him in when he did."

"Thanks, yo," Reno told him, not even noticing when he left.

"He has to stay here?" Kadaj squeaked. "All by himself? Reno, he can't stay all by himself! He'll be lonely!"

"Hush, baby, it's not—"

Reno paused in mid-sentence when Yazoo made a soft sound and seemed to wake up. His eyes were still glassy but they were fully open, and he seemed a little confused by the room. He glanced around and softly asked, "What are we doing here?"

"You're real sick, baby," Reno told him. "The doctor says you got a pretty rough case of pneumonia."

"That's ridiculous," Yazoo said, but when he laughed he ended up coughing, and winced at the pain of it. "Melodramatic nonsense. I'm perfectly fine."

Reno frowned at him and told him, "Perfectly fine my ass, Yazoo. They got you on meds already, and something to keep you from hacking up a lung, but you ain't out of the woods yet. You're gonna stay here for a few days and get better, yo."

Yazoo's eyes widened with stark fear and he shook his head, protesting, "_No_! No, I can't stay here! I've been gone for days already, Reno! Rude said he would make sure I got home! There are things I have to take care of—"

"The brat will take care of the house," Reno told him, placing a hand against Yazoo's shoulder to keep him lying down. His words only scared Yazoo even more, and he looked wildly at Kadaj.

The boy flinched from the fear he saw there, remembering how Yazoo had been so sure in the beginning that Kadaj was going to take his place.

"He can't!" Yazoo protested, and coughed again as he got worked up. "Reno, _please_! I don't want to stay here; I want to go home with _you_!"

Kadaj started crying, wishing Reno would understand what Yazoo was feeling. He couldn't fathom how the man could be so insightful about everyone around him, yet be so blind where Yazoo was concerned.

"You're not coming home, Yazoo," Reno firmly told him, trying to calm him but only ending up making him even more afraid. "You're gonna stay here and get better, yo."

"Yazoo," Kadaj whimpered, drawing his brother's attention, his wild-eyed gaze. "You just need to get better, that's all. He doesn't mean that you won't come home at all—"

"I don't want to stay here!" Yazoo cried, panicked, and slumped back against the pillows, tears streaming down his face. He pulled his hand away from Reno's grasp and covered his face with both palms. "By the time I come back there won't _be_ a place for me!"

Kadaj cried with him, hurting for his brother and wishing like everything that Yazoo could see himself as Kadaj saw him, that he would understand how priceless and special he was. But Yazoo could no more understand that than Kadaj could understand having no self-value…it was something inconceivable, irrational, not even possible.

Reno _finally_ seemed to catch on. He gently grasped both of Yazoo's tiny wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. He held those slender hands in his own and kissed Yazoo's knuckles before pressing them to his own hollow cheeks.

"Baby," he sighed, sounding tired. "I don't know how it happened or what went wrong, but we're gonna fix this, yo."

Yazoo kept crying, consumed by the thought that Reno was entirely capable of replacing him with someone else, provided they could keep house and cook and mind him.

"You ain't coming home just yet," Reno told him, and opened Yazoo's hands to press his flat palms to his narrow face. He made Yazoo look at him, and softly told him, "We'll go home together, yo, okay? Wherever you are, that's where I'll be—you're my pretty baby, Yazoo, got it? It's only 'home' because _you're_ there…"

Yazoo subsided into sniffles but tears still welled down his cheeks.

Reno settled his hands into his lap and wiped Yazoo's face with a tissue before he kissed him and kissed him until Yazoo stopped crying.

Kadaj hugged himself at the side of the bed, relieved that _something_ was being done to fix what was wrong with Yazoo. He was faintly surprised that he wasn't jealous, but he loved his brother so much, wanted him to be happy, and he knew that Yazoo's fears regarding his place in Reno's life were unfounded, totally ridiculous. He'd seen how much Reno needed Yazoo and knew that his brother could never be replaced.

"We got a deal, yo?" Reno asked, cupping Yazoo's face in his hand and pressing his forehead to his younger lover's.

Yazoo gave him a hesitant, tremulous smile and breathed, "Yes…"

"Good," Reno told him, straightening. He looked at Kadaj and said, "Let's have the house keys, baby."

Kadaj dug out the keys and handed them over.

"Alright, Yazoo," Reno said, stroking his fine silver hair. "Once they get you into a room I'm gonna have Rude take the brat and me back to the apartment and we're gonna pack, okay? We'll be gone for awhile but you'll prolly be sleeping anyways, yo. I'll drop him off with Tifa—"

"What?" Kadaj cried, his voice muffled by the mask. "_No_! Reno! I want to stay with Yazoo!"

Reno shook his shaggy red head and told him, "Not a chance, kid. He could still be contagious. Seventh Heaven for you, yo."

"But Reno, I have a key to the apartment—"

"You ain't staying by yourself, scatterbrain," Reno told him, pocketing the keys and pulling his chair close to the edge of the bed to sit holding Yazoo's hand. "Tifa can watch you and bring you in to see us. I'm sure she won't mind, she's got a soft spot for you, yo."

"Well, we're _friends_, I should hope she _does_!" Kadaj spat, cranky. "Please, can't I stay with you guys?"

Reno shook his head again and told him, "My baby needs to rest and get better and my other baby doesn't need to get sick. You can visit in the evenings, Kadaj, but you're gonna stay with Tifa."

Utterly outraged, Kadaj had nothing with which to counter Reno's argument. After all, they weren't a democracy and never would be.

"I'm going to overthrow your government one of these days!" he warned, leaning over to hug his brother tight and feeling a soft chuckle shake his slender frame.

"All hail the revolution," Reno smirked, and let down the railing so that he could rest his head on Yazoo's bed. "Good luck, yo. You're gonna need it."


	33. Smooshy Hugs and Grumpy Pants

With over a week of Winter Solstice break upon him, a brother in the hospital, and a repentant God rushing him, Kadaj grouchily flounced into Seventh Heaven with large and silent Rude at his back.

"Hey, Kadaj! Reno just called," Tifa said, coming down the stairs to greet him. "Hello, Rude, how are you?"

The big man inclined his head a little, which seemed to satisfy Tifa since she yanked Kadaj into a huge, smooshy hug against her formidable chest, a wide smile on her round face.

"You seem a little angry," she said, letting him go. "Reno mentioned you wanted to stay home alone."

"I _do_!" Kadaj cried, and pushed his hair back over one ear, quickly assuring her, "It isn't _you_, Tifa, I _love_ to visit with you! It's just that I'm a grown up now but Reno won't let me stay alone!"

Rude made a soft noise behind him and Kadaj spun, glaring suspiciously when he found the man as blank-faced as ever.

"Don't let him catch you laughing!" Tifa said, amusement burbling in her voice. She draped her arm over Kadaj's shoulders and pulled him towards the empty barstools. "It'll be okay, Kadaj. Reno really loves you, he wouldn't want anything terrible to happen to you, and that's why he wants you to stay with someone and not be alone. Wouldn't it be terrible to stay all by yourself in that big apartment?"

Kadaj's brows drew together and he softly said, "I hadn't thought of _that_."

Tifa nodded solemnly, and then turned to ask Rude, "Do you want something to drink? I don't open for another hour, but I don't mind."

Rude shook his head, pulled his wrist up to look at his bling-encrusted watch, and promptly turned and left.

"Wow, guess he has something to do," Tifa said, shrugging.

"Wow, guess he's _loaded_!" Kadaj said, and said with huge, surprised eyes. "Did you get a look at that _watch_? Whoa!"

Tifa ruffled his hair and sighed, "Leave it to you to spot the shiny things, Kadaj."

"Where is Cloud?" Kadaj asked, suddenly realizing his grumpiest brother was nowhere around.

"On a delivery, but he'll be back soon," Tifa said. "How is Yazoo? Reno said that Rude found him wandering in the Hollows and took him straight to the hospital."

"I didn't know that!" Kadaj cried, aghast. He was immediately offended that everyone else was getting the whole story while he was getting squat. Pouting, he asked, "What else did he tell you that I don't know?"

"Oh," Tifa said, a merry twinkle in her eyes. "That you're fantastic and that you've been doing excellent in school, even doing chores around the house without having to be nagged. And that you hold the World Record for talking on the phone."

Kadaj preened, pleased, and said, "Well, that's no trifling thing, you know. World Records are very important."

He wondered if he'd get a medal or something for it, and he wondered how anyone had known enough to _give_ him a World Record for phone time.

"I wanted a cell phone but Reno told me that ShinRa is working on one that gets surgically implanted into your head and that I should wait for that one," he told Tifa, nodding with importance. With vague doubt, he added, "Of course, Rude _did_ laugh out loud when he said it, so he might've been making fun of me…That's not important, though, what _is_ important is that one day I'll have a phone!"

Tifa laughed and shook her head, sighing, "Oh, Kadaj, it must be wonderful to be you."

"Oh, yes, it really is!" Kadaj agreed, smiling and happy.

"And how is Yazoo?" Tifa asked again, steering them back on topic.

Kadaj's face fell a little into troubled concern as he said, "He's very _small_. I've never seen him look so bad, I was scared he was going to die…"

Tifa patted his shoulder and he perked up a little, saying, "But Reno _finally_ pulled his head out of You-Know-Where and got things sorted for him, and I'm really, _really_ happy because Yazoo was so _un_happy and Reno was always going out and letting people worship him but then he told me it was work and I was like _ew_ and he was like _yeah_ and then when I told him he should tell Yazoo because Yazoo gets really hurt whenever Reno goes out he threatened to not let me have ice-cream until I'm _thirty-five_, can you _believe_ that?! That's just ridiculous, if you ask me, but Reno never does, and so Yazoo still doesn't know but at least _now_ he knows that Reno doesn't keep him around to do the laundry and make meals because Reno said he was going to fix things for him and Yazoo _finally_ stopped crying and when we left he was sleeping and Reno rushed me out because he wanted to go home and get packed and be back before Yazoo woke up and so I only was able to grab a _few_ things – " he held up his overstuffed duffel bag with clothing and shoe laces spilling out of the open zipper, " – and I think I may have forgotten my toothbrush and I just get so _flustered_ when I have to be in a hurry. You know what I mean?"

Tifa was smiling at him, her brown eyes bright with laughter.

"He's terrible when he's in a rush," Kadaj sighed, and draped dramatically over the bar as if exhausted.

"Well, at least you're patient enough to deal with him," Tifa praised, and Kadaj grinned, because he really needed a little attention after all of that, and was feeling a little left out with so much of Reno's focus being on Yazoo. "Are you still having fun staying with Reno?"

"_Tons_!" Kadaj assured her, gesturing dramatically. "You wouldn't _believe_ how much! And now that Yazoo is happy again the worshipping will get back on track and then it will be _even better_!"

Tifa laughed at that and said, "Don't say that too loud! Cloud might hear you!"

Kadaj glanced furtively at the door, wary, and hunkered low to the bar to whisper towards her, "I've been practicing the mouth-thing on a cucumber, you know."

Tifa leaned down to hear him, both of them with their heads together in secrecy.

"How's it going?" she asked in a loud whisper.

Kadaj frowned, "Not as well as I had hoped. I practiced on Reno, but he distracted me and then called me lazy. But _then_ he wanted to see me practice, and he showed me some things. It was a really big cucumber."

"Really?" Tifa asked, laughing softly.

"_Huge_," Kadaj confided, nodding a little. "It had to be, because Reno is like," he straightened and mimed the size in the air, watching Tifa's eyes widen, impressed.

"Yeah, that's pretty big," she admitted.

"What's pretty big?"

Kadaj turned on the stool and irritably said, "Oh, _Niisan_, you have the _worst_ timing!"

"I'm surprised you're here, Kadaj," Cloud said, dropping his pack on one of the tables and giving Kadaj his Serious Face. He was doing the eyebrow thing that made that line between them and Kadaj touched his own forehead to make sure he hadn't somehow absorbed any of that wrinkle. He was _terrified_ of wrinkles, and figured that one day he would have to start rationing his expressions, just to be on the safe side.

"I've come to stay with _Tifa_," Kadaj informed him, and poked his nose into the air. "Still as grumpy as ever, I see."

"How was the delivery, Cloud?" Tifa asked, ignoring the exchange. "You look exhausted, do you want something?"

"Beer," Cloud sighed, and added, "I'll get it."

Kadaj warily watched him draw a glass from the tap and immediately poked his nose back into the air when Cloud's blue eyes lit on him once more.

"I've been hearing some pretty disturbing things through the grapevine," Cloud said, taking a sip of his beer.

"Well, you should probably stop listening to plants, because that's just weird, even for _you_," Kadaj said, and inspected his gleaming nails, thinking ruefully that he'd left his kit at home.

"It's a rumor, Kadaj," Cloud grimly said.

"Funny," Kadaj said, and said with smug triumph, "My Natural Sciences class said it was a _fruit_."

Cloud took a deep breath while Kadaj reveled in his one-upmanship.

"I've been hearing rumors about what is happening in Reno's house," Cloud clarified.

"Cloud, please don't start," Tifa said, weary. "Look, Yazoo is in the hospital with pneumonia and Reno wanted Kadaj to stay here. He _could_ have had Rude watch him, or sent him to stay with Loz, but he let him come here. Please, don't give him a reason to regret that."

Cloud snorted a little and shook his head, saying, "I regret ever letting him take them."

"You didn't _let_ him, Cloud!" Kadaj flared, irritated. "He was the only one who _wanted_ us, remember? _You_ certainly were never banging down the door to help! And you won't even _speak_ to Loz or Yazoo – as if they ever did _anything_ to _you_!"

"They blew me up," Cloud reminded, and Kadaj opened his mouth to counter, but only decided on, "Too bad it didn't loosen you up any, Grumpy Pants."

Cloud's mouth tightened with irritation but he calmly said, "Kadaj, if Reno is sleeping with you, he should go to jail. Do you understand that? That's molestation."

Kadaj glared at him and Tifa groaned, putting her face in her hands, her elbows braced on the bar.

"To _jail_? What, so they can hang him like a horse? I don't think so, _Niisan_," Kadaj snapped. "And who _doesn't_ sleep with somebody? I've _never_ slept alone and I _never_ will!"

"You will _here_," Cloud told him, finishing his beer and rinsing his cup while Kadaj stared at him, utterly horrified.

"But I'm not used to sleeping alone!" Kadaj said, genuinely upset by the idea of it. "I always slept between Yazoo and Loz, or just with Loz, and later with Reno and Yazoo—but never _alone_!"

Cloud's face transformed with horror and he started waving his hands around, obviously disturbed.

"Kadaj, I don't want to hear what went on in that house, _ever_!" he exclaimed, heatedly. "In _this_ house we all keep our hands to ourselves and sleep alone!"

Horrified, Kadaj timidly asked, "You don't worship Tifa?"

Tifa laughed, but it wasn't a happy one, and she kept her face firmly in her hands.

"No!" Cloud snapped, uncomfortable even speaking of it.

"You sleep…you sleep all _alone_?" Kadaj asked, appalled.

"Yes, we all do!" Cloud reiterated.

"Oh, _Niisan_," he breathed, on the verge of tears. "How lonely for you!"

"You get used to it," Cloud said, flushed when it sounded so bad.

"Well," Kadaj said, and shook his head, sad. "If I'm going to have to sleep alone here, then I will just go back to stay with Loz—"

"What?! _No_!" Cloud protested, angry.

Kadaj gave him a mildly condescending look and answered with haughty disdain, "_Niisan_, I will _not_ sleep by myself!"

"It's fine," Tifa said, finally dropping her hands. She smiled at Kadaj but her eyes were brighter than normal, like she'd been crying or was about to. Kadaj's concern quieted him, but when he opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay, she spoke and said, "You can sleep with me in my bed, Kadaj."

"Absolutely out of the question," Cloud flatly said.

Tifa glared at him and tightly asked, "What, you don't trust me, Cloud? Maybe you should let him sleep with _you_, then."

"No," Cloud said, fierce. "He can sleep on the roll away in the kids' room."

"But I don't _want_ to stay with those two little babies," Kadaj protested, wrinkling his nose. "Marlene always makes me play dolls! I _hate_ dolls! They're creepy and their eyes always watch you no matter where you are and she dresses them like homeless people and gets mad when I change their clothes so – "

"You're a child, you're staying with the other children," Cloud said, ignoring Kadaj's protests. With a final, firm look at both Kadaj and Tifa, he said, "That's the end of the discussion."

He went around the bar, nabbed his pack, and took the risers two at a time to his small office-room.

"Well, that went well," Tifa wryly said, sighing.

"Not _really_," Kadaj said, bewildered. In a sad, moping voice he said, "I don't _want_ to go stay in Marlene's room!"

"Well, if it is any consolation," Tifa told him, "Barret took both of them with him to Kalm today, so you'll have the room all to yourself."

But to Kadaj, who _hated_ being alone more than practically _anything_ except for pumpkins and words he didn't know, having a room to himself was pretty much the lowest on his totem pole of must-haves.

"Yeah," he weakly responded. "I guess…"

"Come on," Tifa told him, getting up and hefting his over-stuffed bag easily with one hand. "Let's get you settled."


	34. Kadaj Has a New Name

Two days into staying at Seventh Heaven, Kadaj was beginning to think that he'd earned himself a new first name.

"_No! _Kadaj", that was his name, because it was all Mister Grumpy Pants _Niisan_ ever _said_ to him.

"Cloud, can I go to the mall?"

"_No_, Kadaj."

"Cloud, can I borrow your phone?"

"_No_, Kadaj!"

"Cloud, can I go to Miki's house?"

"_No_, Kadaj!"

"Cloud, can I have twenty Gil?"

"_No_, Kadaj!"

And on and on, until Kadaj was pretty sure that Cloud's voice box was stuck in negative mode.

But the one that broke the proverbial camel's back was the answer to a question that Kadaj was not about to take no as an answer for.

"_Niisan_, can you take me to see Yazoo?"

"_No_, Kadaj," Cloud told him, bent over a table in his office-room with his forehead in his hand. He was muttering to himself and working numbers, which Kadaj _hated_ with a passion. He and numbers were _not_ friends. In fact, they weren't even on speaking terms anymore, though his math teacher refused to let him out of class on this account.

Kadaj, who had not expected the usual denial for this particular request, plowed on ahead, saying, "Visiting hours are over at five and it's nearly noon now, so I want to have plenty of time to – "

"Kadaj, I said no," Cloud told him, and looked up long enough to give him a Serious Look and say, "Go finish up the dishes, Tifa needs all the help she can get."

Kadaj just stared at him, his mouth hanging open. Never in a trillion billion _years_ had he imagined that Cloud would deny him a visit to see their brother, and so he stomped his foot hard on the floor and said, "_Niisan_! This is not a _no_ thing! You _have_ to take me to see Yazoo! Reno _said_!"

"I don't listen to that degenerate Turk," Cloud told him, and went back to his numbers. "And you aren't going to the hospital. You're here, and you'll stay here until I can get this mess worked out, and you won't be getting anywhere near either Reno or your brothers until I do, and that includes the imbecile one."

"Loz is _not_ an imbecile!" Kadaj heatedly said, though he wasn't entirely certain of that since he didn't know what an imbecile was, but since it sounded bad he assumed Cloud spoke of Loz. Frustrated, he hissed, "I _hate_ you! You're _mean_! And I'm _not staying here_!"

Angry, Kadaj flounced out of Cloud's room and stomped up the stairs…and then back down them and up again, just to make sure that Cloud knew he was _really_ very angry.

He went into the little room with its twin beds and flopped down on one, irritated and contemplating just _leaving_. He could get a cab to the hospital and inform Reno that he needed to go stay with Loz this very minute and that he wasn't spending one more second in the company of that miserable Grumpy Pants.

But Reno _had_ seemed pretty dead-set on him staying here…But Reno _had_ said he could come visit…But Reno _hadn't_ mentioned that Tifa was going to be gone for a few days on sudden business with Barret…

Kadaj blew out a breath and rolled over, his eyes idly roaming over the children's toys. Marlene's freaky dolls were gone, presumably with _her_, but some of Denzel's things were stacked in the corner – a leather mitt, a worn softball, a dog-eared comic book, and a bat.

Kadaj rolled off of the bed and picked the bat up, tossing it lightly in the air. It was a red one and it felt like it was made of Styrofoam or something, because it was as smooshy as Tifa's hugs and shockingly weightless. He twirled it on his fingers and thought longingly of his _souba_, wishing for it now so that he could go do some Turk-style convincing on his grumpy eldest brother.

He picked up the ball and smacked it with the bat, sending it thumping into the wall.

"_Kadaj! Stop it!_" Cloud called.

Kadaj smirked and said with eerie mimicry, "_No_, Cloud!"

"_Kadaj_!"

He picked the ball up and hit it again, knocking it into the wall and jarring a drawing loose. Oh well, it was badly done anyway, actually…

"_Kadaj! What in the world are you doing up there? Knock it _off!"

"_No_, _Niisan_!" Kadaj sang, and bounced over the bed to grab the ball. He turned and found Cloud in the doorway glaring in at him.

"Kadaj, I said – " he cut off with a sputter when Kadaj bunted the ball into his chest. Flustered, Cloud slapped it to the ground and sternly said, "Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Kadaj asked, irritated. He couldn't go outside, he couldn't watch the television, he couldn't use the phone, he couldn't go for a car ride, he couldn't borrow _Fenrir_ – what else was he supposed to do? "I'm not _boring_ like _you_, Cloud! I have to do _something_ here!"

"Stop hitting that ball into things!" Cloud demanded, and reached down to pick it up. With a grim frown, he chucked it down the stairs.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Kadaj asked, aggravated.

"I don't know, find something else!" Cloud flared, not so calm himself. "You're behaving like an animal, Kadaj, and I know it's because you've been living with that horrible Turk!"

Kadaj gasped a little, angered by Cloud's blasphemy, and bopped him on the head with the bat.

"_Ouch_!"

They were both shocked that he'd done it, and Kadaj stared at the bat, aghast, as if it had hit Cloud of its own free will…and then he bopped him again, because the first time had felt pretty good and, in all honesty, Cloud _deserved _it.

"Kadaj, you ingrate! Knock that – "

"_You're a horrible meanie_!" Kadaj told him, and bapped him upside the shoulder, sending Cloud backing into the hallway to escape the foam bat. Not about to lose the upper hand, Kadaj came after him, smacking him in the chest twice more. "How dare you tell me my brother is an invalid and that Reno is horrid! _You're_ horrid, _Niisan_!"

"Kadaj! Just stop that for a sec – "

Kadaj rained bouncing blows on him and Cloud retaliated, grappling with him for the bat. It degenerated into a struggle that Kadaj wasn't about to win, but he also wasn't about to give up. Red-faced, panting, and wriggling to get away, he clung to the bat with both hands and growled fiercely at Cloud, who was equally determined to take it from him.

Suddenly, it seemed ridiculous, and the boy felt a giggle start. It was so _funny_ to see Cloud so irritated that he had a pink stain of anger on his cheeks and his blue eyes had narrowed to slits.

"Give me that!" Cloud insisted, and paused for a second to suspiciously ask, "What are you laughing at?"

"_You_!" Kadaj giggled, and couldn't restrain the deep belly laughs that came up. It weakened his grip, but he was starting to get tired anyway, and Cloud seemed absolutely certain that if he didn't wrest the bat from Kadaj, all of mankind would surely suffer.

"Stop laughing at me," Cloud snapped, yanking back on the bat and pulling the giggling young man with it. Kadaj's laughter, however, had a tendency to be infectious, and Cloud's mouth curved up just a _teeny_ tiny bit at the corners before he gave the bat a shake that sent Kadaj wobbling back and forth.

"I _can't_," Kadaj burbled, cackling even more when Cloud gave the bat another dislodging shake that made him sway. "I got you, _Niisan_! I beat the great Cloud Strife with a baseball bat!"

"It's a softball bat, and it's a child's toy," Cloud said, never graceful in defeat, but he stopped jerking on it, twitching the end of it so that the tip swung back and bounced between Kadaj's watering eyes.

Kadaj – who had learned to take teasing from a man like Reno – simply giggled some more, not even minding it, just saying, "That didn't hurt!"

Cloud looked at him for a long time and finally let go of the bat, and Kadaj playfully bounced it on top of his head again, saying, "You get so _angry_, Cloud! When do you have time to laugh when you're so angry all of the time?"

Cloud just shook his head, saying, "I have to finish my work. I'll take you by the hospital when I have the time."

Kadaj was still giggling softly, and called out after him when he left, "I kicked your _ass_, _Niisan_!"

There was a muffled, sour reply from the hallway, but it lacked the usual amount of stern grumpiness.

"Maybe Cloud just needs new pants instead of those Grumpy ones," Kadaj sighed, still grinning. He twirled the bat again and put it aside, thinking that it would stand in stead of the _souba_ any day in his book.

But the hours passed and Cloud didn't emerge from his room until it was a quarter to five, and there was no way they could make it even _to_ the hospital before visiting hours were up.

Kadaj, stymied once more and certainly in no mood to laugh at Cloud _now_, sullenly decided that if Cloud was so dead-set on keeping him here, he'd make his eldest brother regret the day he'd ever dreamed of it.

And that, of course, meant _war_.


	35. The War On Grump

Kadaj heard Cloud get up and start moving about upstairs, and he quickly ducked behind the couch. He had a pot on his head for a helmet (because he figured Cloud might start throwing things) and his sharp green eyes on the stairway. As the stairs creaked under Cloud's weight, Kadaj fairly wriggled with excitement, because The War on Grump was officially underway.

He'd been up most of the night scribbling a long list of things he could do to Cloud, interspersed with notes about clothes he wanted to buy and bored doodles of himself at the mall. Once he was sure Cloud was in bed, he'd sneaked downstairs to begin his one-man war with his secret weapon – _Super Helpful_.

Because if anything drove Yazoo nuts in their home, it was when Kadaj tried to help.

"We'll see who gets to go to the hospital today, _Niisan_," he whispered, and Cloud irritably called, "_Kadaj_? What are you whispering about over there?"

"Nothing!" he called. He popped up from behind the couch and gave Cloud an innocent smile, which was met with a grumpy frown.

"What's with the pot?"

"What pot?" he asked, blinking.

Cloud stared at him for a long moment, shook his head, and went to the garage to find…

"_Kadaj_!"

The boy grinned and hunkered back behind the couch, only to hastily stand back up when Cloud came storming back into the room, his eyes blazing and his cheeks flushed.

"_What did you do to my bike_?"

"You were complaining it was acting up," Kadaj said, and did his best to look harmless and small. "I was just trying to help, _Niisan_!"

Cloud glowered at him and held up what appeared to be the _Fenrir's_ kickstand, but Kadaj couldn't really tell. After he'd gotten done disassembling the massive motorcycle in his half-hearted attempt to "find the problem", he'd gotten bored and gone to watch television, and when he'd come back he couldn't remember where anything had gone.

Which was, arguably, not his fault since he wasn't a mechanic.

"So you took it upon yourself to _trash my bike_?!" Cloud shouted, upset.

Kadaj gave him The Big Eyes, summoned up some tears, and let his voice warble when he said, "I was just trying to help…"

Cloud slumped, a frown replacing the scowl, a kind of weary resignation overtaking his anger.

"I appreciate the thought, but maybe take it back a notch," he finally said, and vanished back into the garage.

"Cloud?" Kadaj called, hollering to be heard the distance. "Are you mad at me?"

"_No_," his brother called back. "_Just...just try not to get into trouble, will you? I won't be able to make any deliveries today at this rate…_"

Kadaj grinned and did a small, quiet victory dance before he drew closer to the door and said, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to mess it up! What can I do to help, _Niisan_?"

Cloud reappeared in the doorway, forcing Kadaj to do a quick Face Wipe to make sure his smug expression was gone.

"Answer the phone," Cloud suggested. "The machine is probably full by now."

He batted his lashes and said, "Okay!"

Cloud frowned again and vanished.

With a smile, Kadaj skipped off to the bar and looked at his list, placing a firm, black line through "Fix the _Fenrir._"

The phone uttered its trilling chirp and Kadaj wriggled with excitement because he simply _loved_ talking on the phone! He snatched the handset up and said, "This is Kadaj!"

"Who?"

"Who wants to know?" he questioned, taken aback. His silver brows pulled close in consternation, because he truly did not like _any_ Grumpy People.

"Uh…This is Marshal, in Kalm?"

Kadaj debated, and finally asked, "Are you asking me or telling me? Because if you're looking for confirmation of who you are, I'm not your best source. I mean, I _do_ know practically _everyone_ in the entire _world_, but I've never heard of a Marshal in Kalm before, so – "

"No, I _am_ Marshal in Kalm," the man sharply said.

"Yay!" Kadaj cried, delighted for him. "I'm so glad we got that worked out!"

There was a long silence while Kadaj just smiled happily, glad to have helped a man discover his identity.

"So, is this the place where Strife works, or not?"

"Oh, yes! But he won't be working today, he's _very_ put out," Kadaj said, inspecting his nails. This answering phones bit was _easy_. He should totally get a job as a secretary. "He got up this morning and realized his thingy is broken and he's really upset about it. Nearly inconsolable, though I don't know why – _I_ always thought it was a piece of junk, but he's _so_ proud of it..."

He was pleased to have been able to work the word "inconsolable" into a conversation, and made a note on his list to tell Reno, because the man had bet him he'd never be able to.

"I beg your pardon?" Marshal asked.

"His thing," Kadaj repeated, forgetting the stupid bike's name. "You know, his _stuff_, his equipment! It's broken. At first it was upright and everything, like it should be, but after _I_ got through with it, all it does is lay on the floor."

Marshal clearly had no coherent response to this, he just made sounds that were suspiciously like laughter.

"Excuse me," Kadaj said, trying to sound severe. "Broken equipment is _not_ a laughing matter!"

"Oh, no, that's true," Marshal said, but Kadaj was pretty sure that he was still chuckling about it. "Look, you have Strife call me when his stuff is working and he's feeling able to work, okay, kid? He knows who I am, and the shop number is in the book."

"Oh, I can do that, I'm very capable," Kadaj pointed out, just in case the man had missed it somehow. "Have a fantastic day! And I'll give Cloud your sympathies over his broken thingy!"

"Yeah, you do that," Marshal said, and hung up on a bout of laughter.

Cloud poked his head in then and asked, "Who was that?"

"Uhm…Matthew? Marty? I dunno," Kadaj shrugged, intent on his doodle.

"Well, what did he want?" Cloud sighed.

"He was interested in your junk, but I told him it was broken and you were _really_ unhappy," Kadaj said, putting a frowny face on top of a stick and adding spikes for _Niisan_. "He was laughing at you."

Cloud sighed again, and told him, "Kadaj, you have to write messages down."

"No, _Niisan_, I need this paper for drawing, it's _boring_ sitting in here," Kadaj told him. "Besides, if you really wanted to know what people were wanting, you'd answer your cell phone."

Cloud blushed.

"_Yes_," Kadaj said, giving him a snooty glare like Yazoo would. "I know _all_ about The Cell Phone, _Niisan_. Mister I Don't Have A Phone So You Can't Call Me…"

Cloud's cheeks stayed cherry red, but he just said, "Just write the messages down, Kadaj. And try not to scare my customers."

Kadaj glared after him, irritated.

"I don't _scare_ people, Mister Grumpy Pants. People _love_ me! I hold a World Record! I'm practically _famous_!"

The phone rang again and Kadaj snatched up the phone, saying with smug, deliberate malice, "Strife's Delivery Service, temporarily on hold due to _equipment_ _failure_."

"I heard! I was going to ask Tifa what was going on," the caller said, sounding shocked. "I can't believe it! I mean, he's _the Hero_. I always figured he'd be…_up_, you know?"

"Yes, that's true," Kadaj conceded. "But he's remarkably grumpy, antisocial, and he absolutely _refuses_ to sleep with anyone."

"Do you think that's why…_you know_…why his equipment is…"

"Oh _definitely_," Kadaj agreed, though he had no clue what they were talking about, or why Cloud's insistence on sleeping alone would lead to problems with _Fenrir_. Of course, if Cloud had just let Kadaj sleep in his room with him, he would've _known_ the second Kadaj got up to do his helpful work, so maybe _that_ was what she meant. "Why? Do you have a way to fix it?"

"Well…I used to work at the Honeybee, before Meteor…" the woman offered. "I mean, I guess I could _try_, if he's willing…"

"Oh, that would be fantastic!" Kadaj cried, delighted. "He needs all the help he can get! He's all by himself right now trying to fix it, so if you know anyone else who can help, just have them call, okay? Everyone can have a turn until it's done!"

By the end of two hours, Cloud had seventeen appointments with women and five others with men, and the calls just kept coming.

"What on _earth_ is going on in here? Did you give this number to your little friends, Kadaj? I told you, no personal phone calls to Seventh Heaven!" Cloud called, stalking in from the garage with grease smeared on his face and a dirty rag in hand.

Kadaj wrinkled his nose and said, "_Ew, _Cloud, you're _filthy_! You need to go shower, your first appointment will be here soon."

Cloud stopped abruptly, like someone had thrown up a Barrier, and stared at him with incredulous blue eyes.

"_Appointment_?"

"Yes, _appointment_," Kadaj told him, proud of what he'd accomplished. "You never take any time for yourself, Cloud, and I know you're shy and really _boring_ so you would never _ever_ ask for help fixing your broken equipment so I set up some help for you."

He rifled through the stack of papers and squeaked when Cloud slapped his hand down on them.

"What. Have. You. Been. _Telling people_?!"

Kadaj smiled at him and innocently said, "_Nothing_, _Niisan_. But word has spread about your broken thing and there are women – oh, and a few men – convinced that they have what it takes to get it working again."

"Kadaj," Cloud said, solemn and serious, as usual. "Tell me precisely what you've been saying. Word for word."

Kadaj concentrated, and managed to recall most of what he'd said for his _Niisan_.

Cloud closed his eyes after the recollection and Kadaj could hear him counting under his breath. After he hit ten, his eyes opened back up and he tightly said, "Kadaj, they aren't talking about the _Fenrir_."

"Are they not?" he asked, and smiled sweetly. "Oh well! At least you have help! Say thank you, _Niisan_!"

Cloud's jaw tightened and Kadaj was pretty sure he was grinding his teeth. When he spoke, though, it wasn't to Kadaj, he just muttered, "How does he deal with this every day?"

"Cloud? Can I go see Yazoo?" Kadaj asked, wondering if he'd waged enough war to get his way.

"_No_, Kadaj! We've been over this! You're staying here until it's sorted," Cloud snapped. "I'd rather see you in foster care than with that Turk!"

Kadaj gave him a long-suffering, sainted look and sighed, "Then I suppose I'm staying here, then…By the way, your first appointment is at noon, and she said she wanted you to get some whipped cream, some handcuffs, and a bottle of chocolate syrup. Are you two going to make sundaes? I _love_ sundaes! Oh, can I help?!"

Cloud slapped his hand over his eyes and said, "I'm going to shower. _Don't answer the phone_!"

"Okay!" Kadaj said, and grinned as Cloud walked off. He idled around the bar, humming innocently, and when he heard Cloud's shower start, he cranked on the hot water and started to busily wash the dishes behind the bar.

Very, very faintly, he could hear Cloud cursing and flailing around upstairs, and added a grin to his happy humming.

A very irritated, very chilled-looking Cloud came down the stairs a little while later. In a quiet, low voice, he asked, "Kadaj, did you turn on the taps down here?"

"Oh, yes, _Niisan_, I did," he admitted, nodding. "I washed the dishes, see?"

He pointed to the haphazard stack of mugs and plates, and added, "Only, I dropped a few, I hope you don't mind. They're _slippery_!"

Cloud fisted his hands against his temples and demanded, "How do you deal at home, Kadaj? How do you do _anything_?"

Kadaj blinked at him and asked, "What do you mean, Cloud? I do all sorts of things. Reno usually doesn't mind!"

"How have you not burned the place down by now?" Cloud cried, gesturing wildly. "Do they leave you locked in a closet somewhere?"

"In a _closet_? Look, I've heard of keeping cats in bags, _Niisan_, but _no one_ keeps me in a _closet_!" Kadaj informed him, offended.

Cloud stared at him, perhaps comprehending finally what exactly he'd taken on.

"Look…you stay with me, okay?" he said, heaving another weary sigh. "Don't go anywhere I can't see you."

"What about to the bathroom?"

"_Except_ to the bathroom!" Cloud snapped.

"What about when I go to sleep?"

"_Except when you go to sleep_!"

"What about – "

"_Kadaj! Be quiet_!"

"Well, _that's_ not very nice!" Kadaj informed him, and when Cloud went out to the garage, Kadaj followed him. "You know, when I'm at _home_ Reno and Yazoo are always really nice to me except for when I'm misbehaving and then sometimes Reno spanks me but then we always worship afterward and sometimes Yazoo will make me brownies because he is a bigger softie than Reno is or so Reno says and so he tends to indulge me more than Reno does but they never _never_ tell me to be quiet because they know that I really _really_ love to talk and that if I don't get to talk very much at school I come home _really_ chatty but even _then_ they don't tell me I need to be quiet and I think you only say things like that because you're a _huge_ Grumposaur and not even _I_ think you can be cured at this point, _Niisan_ – "

Cloud plopped down amongst the _Fenrir's_ parts and Kadaj flopped next to him, the pot on his head sliding askew.

" – and I have no _idea_ why you would be so angry over me washing the dishes or getting some help for you because you _know_ you can't do _everything_ by yourself and that is something that Reno has told me like a _trillion_ times because the only thing that really matters in the end is _family_ and since you won't even _speak_ to yours because we blew you up or some _other_ nonsense – which, really, Cloud, you shouldn't even be _mad_ about because you're _here_ aren't you? – then I really don't want to be stuck in this place with a brother who _isn't_ while my _real_ brother is in the hospital maybe _dying_ and you won't even go and see him – "

Cloud's frown deepened as he worked, and Kadaj idly handed him tools as he continued on his tirade against the evils of Grump.

" – and what if he _does_ die I bet you won't even feel guilty at all because you think it's only fair since he killed _you_ once before but he died too so you're kind of even and so I decided to wage War on you but it's getting really _really_ boring because you're always _so_ grumpy about everything that you can't even take a _joke_ and I guess what it really comes down to is that if you don't let me see my brother I'm going to do all sorts of annoying things to you until I get my way."

He stopped and panted, spots swimming before his eyes.

Cloud stared at him, looking faintly shocked, and finally asked, "Are you alright?"

"I feel a little faint," he admitted, and leaned against the partially-completed _Fenrir._

It toppled over and fell with a loud, resounding crash.


	36. Reunion

"_Yazoo_!" Kadaj squealed, and launched himself at his older brother, clinging to his slender body like a tenacious little barnacle. Squirming in his excitement, he looked up at him and breathlessly said, "Oh, you _do_ look way better and not so pale and I thought for _sure_ you were going to be sick for _way_ longer than just a week even though God told me you were feeling better and everything but it's so _amazing to see you, Yazoo_!"

Yazoo laughed, though it still held a rusty edge of thickness to it, and squeezed him back, saying, "I missed you, too, Kadaj."

Reno watched their reunion with a soft smile on his face that turned to a full-on grin when Kadaj came at him with the same degree of exuberant welcome.

"We missed you, brat," he said, rocking Kadaj from side to side in a warm hug. "What the fuck, yo – five days and no calls, no visit?"

"That was me," Cloud said, finally stepping into the room with his usual solemn expression. He was not at all pleased to see Kadaj curled up in Reno's embrace, but the boy didn't care. Reno and Yazoo were his family, his home, and nothing could take that from him, not even a Grumpy Pants. "I was hoping to reform him a bit and get him away from your influence."

"Worked like a charm," Reno wryly said, his eyes gleaming. He moved closer to the bed where Yazoo was sitting and draped his arm over his other lover's shoulders, holding both of them in his embrace. Kadaj wrapped his arm around Yazoo's waist and squeezed them both tight, crying, "I really _really really_ missed you both _so much_!"

"So what gives, Cloud?" Reno asked, dropping a kiss on the top of Yazoo's head and hefting Kadaj to sit next to his brother so he could face the other man without distractions. "I sent him to Seventh Heaven because he's always telling me you care about them _deep down_. So what, then? You think keeping him from his sick brother and cutting his contact to the only family he has is good for him, yo?"

Cloud flushed but didn't back down.

"Look, Turk," he said, his voice low and even. "Kadaj is a child. He is young and easily swayed, and you are probably the most soul-rotten, foul person on the face of the planet. What kind of responsible adult would I be if I allowed you to continue to twist his mind and abuse his body?"

One of Reno's thin brows shot up and he looked over at Kadaj, who had struggled out of his poofy coat and was playing with one of the stuffed animals that Loz had brought Yazoo.

"Yeah, he's real abused," he said. "Look, Cloud, you got it all wrong, okay? I understand you think I'm the big bad wolf set to eat Little Helium Head over there, but you're missin' some key factors of this equation."

"Like?" Cloud asked, not impressed.

"He _died_, Cloud," Reno pointed out, and Yazoo shivered on his bed, reaching out to stroke his fingers through Kadaj's silvery hair. "They came from Gods know where built to resurrect that crazy Sephiroth fucker and got their asses blown to hell with good reason. You think any of them ever had a chance to _play_? You think they ever watched movies on the couch or got hugs? You think they ever had a daddy to take them shopping or give a shit about them? No to all that, yo. They had fuck all, so give Kadaj a break if this time around he's still getting used to it, yeah?"

Cloud shook his head and frowned, watching oblivious Kadaj launch a plushie war against Yazoo, who was more intent on their conversation than he was on the stuffed teddy creeping up on his right flank.

"Kadaj was the one that got it the worse," Reno said, hands on hips. "When that Flower Girl pal of yours sent them back, she made him the baby to give him a chance at stuff he'd missed. Yazoo and Loz, they was already set in things, they'd _been_ grown for a long time already, but Kadaj was only just coming into it, so she reset things a little, to make it up to him."

"How would you know?" Cloud shot back, flushing. "You're just making excuses to feel better about what you're doing to a _child_!"

"He's not a child, Cloud, that's what I'm trying to tell you," Reno said, shaking his head and exhaling a deep breath of frustration.

"Reno, _look_ at him!" Cloud snapped, and gestured at Kadaj, who was still idly playing with the plushies. "He even _plays_ like a child!"

Kadaj stopped at once, reminding himself to present a more restrained front, as Yazoo did. It was _hard_ for him to not play, though—he was simply too carefree to worry very long about it, and wound up nudging the fuzzy army again before becoming rather absorbed in his plan of attack.

Reno snorted laughter and shook his head, saying, "You got it all wrong, old nemesis of mine. Kadaj isn't a kid, Cloud, he's a fucking _ditz_!"

Cloud's look was appalled and absolutely stunned.

"My baby can't keep a thought in his head longer than three seconds unless he really wants to," Reno told him. "He isn't stupid, he isn't simple, and he certainly isn't a _child_—he's a bratty teenager with a case of the 'I wants' and a head full of helium. Will he grow out of it? Probably. Do I care if he doesn't? Nah, I love him anyway, yo. I kinda enjoy how ridiculous he is—having an airhead around the house is hilarious."

Kadaj perked up when he heard Reno say his name and started to get _seriously_ irritated with the man's estimation of him, even going so far as to glower at Reno. Yazoo, however, caught his eye and gave an eloquent shrug, and Kadaj grudgingly admitted that he really _was_ a bit of a ditz, but only because he never really _had_ to approach anything with his old determination. Whatever he wanted, pouting and prayers provided, and he was much too in love with the world to spend his days all serious and boring.

"To prove my point," Reno said, and turned to Kadaj, asking, "Hey, Princess, does it piss you off when I talk about you like that?"

"Well, _yes_, as a matter of fact it does!" Kadaj began, and dove straight into an angry rant. "You know I'm smart, Reno—I get good grades at school and all of my teachers love me and there's no reason you have to say those kinds of things about me even if they _are_ true and—"

In mid rant, Reno cocked his head a little and interrupted with, "Is that the ice-cream truck?"

"_Ice cream_?!" Kadaj gasped, and bolted for the tiny hospital window, straining to see the familiar yellow truck with its slowly revolving giant ice-cream cone atop it. "I _love_ ice cream! Oh, Reno, can we have ice-cream tonight? I'll even pay for it out of my allowance, I promise! _Pleeeeeaaaasssse_?!"

Reno smirked at Cloud's consternation and gave Kadaj a smile that made the boy light up like a thousand watt bulb.

"Sure, baby, we'll get ice cream."

"Yay!" Kadaj bounced a happy jig, dancing circles around Reno and then hopped on the bed with Yazoo while his lovers watched him with amused affection.

"Hey, kid, weren't you saying something?" Reno asked, smirking.

Kadaj rolled over, giggling, and shrugged a little, saying, "Oh, bother that, I don't remember. _Ice cream_!"

Beaten, Cloud wryly said, "I think I see what you mean."

"So could you do me a favor then, Cloud, and stop crashing down on him, yo?" Reno asked, his stance relaxing just a tiny bit. "You mean the world to the kid and it really bugs him when you're mean to him."

Cloud took a deep breath and stiltedly said, "I will try. I just can't condone what you're doing."

"Yeah, well, whatever," Reno said, waving it away. "When I need your seal of approval for shit, I'll let you know."

"Are we going home?" Kadaj asked, bored by their _long_ discussion and wanting to see his beloved room again where all his _good_ clothes were and the shoes he'd meant to pack but had totally forgot because Reno had been rushing h –

"Yeah, I'm getting Yazoo ready for discharge," Reno told him. "You got your bag?"

"In the hall," Cloud said, and finally looked at Yazoo, who stiffened and got that Blank Face going. "I'm glad you're well, Yazoo."

"Indeed," Yazoo said, his voice frosty. "Thank you."

"Hey, at least he's trying," Reno pointed out. He looked at Cloud and said with a soft smile, "Believe it or not, Yazoo is trying, too. Any other day, he'd just pretend you weren't even there."

Cloud frowned a little and stiffly said, "Understandable. I'll be going now. Goodbye, Yazoo. Please accept my best wishes for your continued health. Bye, Kadaj."

"Bye, _Niisan_!" Kadaj cried, waving from where he was curled up on Yazoo's bed with the plushies. "Be careful! I'm not sure that thing of yours is up for motion just yet!"

Cloud blushed fiercely and headed out.

"You broke the bike?" Reno guessed, grinning.

Kadaj grinned back and said, "I used inconsolable in a sentence!"

"Excellent work, yo," Reno praised, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed with his arm behind Yazoo's shoulders and his hand resting on Kadaj's arm. "How'd you get him to bring you?"

"I decided it was best to be myself," Kadaj said, beaming. "And it totally worked! After three more straight days of my War on Grump, he _finally _relented. Stubborn _Niisan_."

Yazoo laughed, coughed a bit, and laughed some more, saying with true affection, "We love you just as you are, Kadaj."

"I know," he said, and snuggled against Yazoo with a content smile.

"Come on," Reno said, giving them a combined squeeze. "Let's get you dressed and home where you belong, Yazoo."

"And _me_!" Kadaj reminded, sitting up when his two lovers moved.

"And _you_, brat," Reno laughed, and tossed him a duffel. "Pack your brother up, yo, I wanna get my babies home."

Yazoo blushed and Kadaj did a little happy dance, turning circles until Reno smacked his ass to get him going. But nothing could dampen the joy Kadaj felt at being with God and his brother, or the excitement of knowing they would go home and be together again.

"Reno, are we going to worship when we get home?" he asked, laden with his own bag and Yazoo's, the straps slipping and sliding all over his poofy coat.

Yazoo choked a little and started coughing again, but quickly recovered enough to give Kadaj a firm look.

Reno, however, just winked at them both and said, "_This_ long without my babies? You bet your sweet ass, we will."

"Yay!"

Buoyed up by happiness, Kadaj skipped, danced, and sang his way all the way down to the car, too excited to even argue about who got to drive them home.


	37. Yazoo Comes Home!

It felt so good to be back home that Kadaj danced little circles around both of his lovers as they tried to get in the door, causing a general bottleneck and confusion until Reno plucked him up by the back of his thick coat and deposited him in the hallway.

"Excited, huh?" the man asked, and laughed at him, but Kadaj knew it wasn't a laughing _at_ him laugh, just a _laughing_ at him laugh, so he didn't get offended.

Yazoo looked a little pale and drawn as he unwound his scarf, but his smile was sweet and pretty when Reno helped him get his coat off, Kadaj bouncing around them like a ping-pong ball trying to get his huge, smooshy coat off.

"I'm so glad to be back home and isn't it nearly Solstice and we haven't even decorated anything yet but Miki says that you can't celebrate Solstice without a certain kind of candle that I'm _sure_ we don't have and aren't you just so happy to be _home_, Yazoo? And I tried to keep everything neat but you know how _bad_ I am about that and _Reno_ was no help at all and since I was stuck at _Seventh Heaven_ – and let me tell you that place it pretty poorly named – it's gotten even _worse_, I can see! And I guess in the end it just proves that we really can't do without you, Yazoo and if you ever left then we'd have to come with you wherever you go because I really just don't think we can make it all by ourselves if you're not around…"

Yazoo laughed softly at Kadaj's unexpected sweetness and cupped his little face, saying, "Thank you, Kadaj. I can't do without you two, either. What an adorable thing to say…"

Kadaj looked a little shocked that he'd been so nice, but was quick to take the praise, crowing, "Yes, well, it's just _true_, Yazoo! I haven't had a pie in _ages_ since you've been gone!"

"Wow, way to spoil _that_ one," Reno commented, pulling on the sleeves of Kadaj's coat to free him.

"He didn't spoil anything," Yazoo protested, and hugged Kadaj close, his green eyes on Reno.

Kadaj, oblivious to anything that might ever happen around him, simply sighed and said, "We should go and worship because it's been _way way way_ too long and I was scared to do any touching _down there_ at Cloud's because I figured he could hear me and would come do something really awful."

"I can understand that," Reno murmured, and wrapped his strong arms around both of them, holding them close so that he could kiss Yazoo's soft mouth and the top of Kadaj's head. "The brat's got a point – it's been a long time. You up for it?"

"That depends," Yazoo quietly said, his eyes limpid and soft. "Are you going to say you're sorry?"

Kadaj's big green eyes flicked from one beloved face to the other, but God didn't get angry. He grinned and said, "I'm so sorry, sweet baby – do you forgive me?"

Yazoo's smile was bright and wide, so wide he flashed a dimple in his left cheek that Kadaj had _no_ idea was even there.

"I forgive you," Yazoo breathed, and Kadaj squealed with laughter when Reno hefted _both_ of them up and started to drag them towards the bedroom.

The boy was pretty sure he'd never heard anything so wonderful in his life as Yazoo's excited, happy laughter. He hoped those dark, sad days were behind them now, because he really loved it when both of his lovers were happy and content, because, of course, it made them more willing to indulge him.

They both tumbled onto the bed in a heap of long limbs and shining silver hair, laughing. Yazoo's breath caught and he coughed a little bit, but it cleared up quickly, and since he didn't make a big deal about it, neither Kadaj nor Reno did.

"Now _that's_ beautiful," Reno sighed, tugging open his jacket and flinging it against the desk chair. His big blue eyes were bright and heated when he looked at them, stark hunger welling in their depths as the man stripped down.

Kadaj clung to Yazoo and stared, as captivated as always by the sight of Reno undressing. Yazoo held him back, equally as enraptured, neither one of them moving until Reno said, "Am I undressing the both of you? Kadaj – help me get Yazoo out of his clothes, huh? Then we can work on you."

Kadaj blinked rapidly and wriggled around in his brother's embrace while Reno crawled onto the bed, but it was really hard to concentrate on what he was doing when his eyes kept sliding down to Reno's heavy sex and skittering away. Finally, Yazoo pushed his hands aside and helped Reno himself, and Kadaj just flopped back against the pillows with a sigh, working his shoes and socks off.

"My pretty baby," Reno kept murmuring, easing Yazoo out of his clothing with gentle hands. He trailed his fingers down Yazoo's side and frowned, and Kadaj felt sad when he saw how little Yazoo had gotten from his sickness. He'd always been _thin_, but now he was just _too thin_. It was like the fever had eaten him, making his belly hollow. He was no less beautiful, but it hurt Kadaj to see him so fragile looking, and it clearly bothered Reno, too. "I'm sorry, baby…"

Yazoo caught Reno's face in his hands and tugged the man up with a shy, soft smile. He kissed him, deep and sweet, and let his long fingers tangle in Reno's wild hair. When they parted, he breathed, "It looks worse than it is. I hate hospital food. It reminds me of…_ before_…"

Kadaj shuddered at that one, sharing his brother's instinctive distaste of chemical smells, bland food, white lab coats, and anything that even remotely resembled the labs that all three of the "brothers" recalled all too well.

Reno stroked Yazoo's hair back from his face, smoothing his hand over his flushed cheek and behind his head to grip his nape. The man's blue eyes were warm and sad, and he softly murmured, "I _missed_ you…don't ever leave me again."

"Leave _us_ again!" Kadaj sternly corrected, peeling off his Princess shirt – which he'd worn because he knew it made Yazoo laugh – and trying to wriggle out of his jeans, which were wet at the bottoms from the snow, which really _annoyed_ him. "Don't ever leave _us_ again."

Reno grinned and Yazoo blushed, reaching out to touch Kadaj's cheek, flushed with the effort of trying to get his pants off without getting the wet parts against his bare skin.

Reno leaned back, grasped the hem of his jeans, and pulled them free with one hard tug, idly tossing them towards the pile of dirty clothes that had built up since Yazoo had gone, overflowing the laundry basket. Reno had spent his time at the hospital and Kadaj had been gone, but somehow the chores had still managed to pile up.

The man returned to stretch out at Yazoo's other side, one long hand idly stroking Yazoo's slender belly, watching his white skin and muscles tighten. Not one to be willingly left out (unless ball-gags and cuffs were involved, and then he was more than happy to go play video games), Kadaj snuggled against his other side and sighed, breathing in the familiar scent of Yazoo's skin and feeling the warmth of him.

"It was empty without you," he said, hugging his brother tight. "I didn't like it."

Yazoo made a soft sound and rubbed his head, pulling his fingers through Kadaj's hair in a gentle caress. In a soft, low voice, he admitted, "I was pretty empty, too…"

"But _now_ you're not!" Kadaj declared, and his eyes popped open. He grinned at his brother and gave him a squeeze, happy to have him within touching distance.

"Take it easy, baby, let him breathe," Reno chided, and loosened Kadaj's arm so that he could lean over Yazoo and kiss him.

Kadaj was too happy to be _too_ jealous, and besides, Yazoo needed to know he was wanted, so while Reno gave him a kiss fit to scorch him from the mouth down, Kadaj put his practice on Reno to use and started to nibble his way down Yazoo's swan-like throat. It was fun and exciting, especially with Reno's hot body so close, and he really wanted to see his brother's more passionate side rise to the surface.

Usually, Kadaj was in the middle somehow, pressed between their two bodies, but this time it was Yazoo in the middle. Reno didn't want him to make any effort at all, and told Kadaj as much.

"You show him how much you missed him," the man said, turning Yazoo in his arms so that his long, slender back lay in the curve of Reno's strong body. "Show him how we can't do without him."

Kadaj could hardly say no when Reno looked at him like that, with his blue eyes all soft and hungry. Yazoo lay on his side, his eyes half-closed, his silver hair falling over his throat to pool on the sheet. He looked angelic, but so fragile, and Kadaj felt an odd tremor of fear rise up in him. It hadn't struck him before, but they could die again. They could be hurt, could be killed, and could catch illnesses. It was a sobering thought for a boy whose biggest worry was if his shoes went well with his outfit.

"Hey," Reno said, and reached out to touch his cheek, concern in his blue eyes. "You okay, brat?"

"I'm just really glad you're safe, Yazoo," Kadaj whispered, and when Yazoo tugged him down, the young man eagerly snuggled against his chest.

"There, my little Kadaj, there," Yazoo breathed, stroking his hair, his cheek, the curve of his throat. "I'll be well soon, I promise you."

Kadaj tipped his face up and kissed him, soft lips and heat, the sweet taste of Yazoo filling him. He lifted his hand and splayed his fingers on Yazoo's hollow cheek, feeling the shape of a face that echoed his own. Yazoo was a part of him, a piece of himself, just severed away from him. So he tried to remember that, he kissed him and promised himself that he would try to be nicer to Yazoo, try to be kind to him. Yazoo _deserved _it, if only as a part of Kadaj…

He kissed his way down Yazoo's throat, down the swell of his chest, down the ripple of his belly. The scent of his skin was clean and smelled faintly of vanilla and spice – Yazoo had refused to leave the hospital without a proper shower with his own things, and Reno had made sure he'd gotten just that.

Kadaj bit him just above where the muscle of his belly narrowed into his loins and Yazoo gasped, his sex stirring. Reno's hand slid over his flank to rub circles in the hollow of his hip and Yazoo made a soft, keening noise, turning slightly onto his back, offering more of himself.

"Kadaj has something he wants to show you," Reno purred, capturing Yazoo's mouth in a deep kiss while Kadaj teased his tongue over the creamy skin of Yazoo's thigh. Reno broke the kiss with a soft gasp for breath and added in a throaty, unsteady voice, "He hasn't been practicing since you left, but I think you'll be impressed…"

Kadaj giggled and glanced up to see Yazoo gazing down at him, his jade eyes sleepy and soft with passion. It was different from the fierceness Kadaj was used to, it was more akin to how Yazoo responded to Reno himself, and the boy felt an odd thrill at the idea of it that promptly made him blush.

Yazoo smiled softly and asked, "What is it, Kadaj?"

"Well it certainly wasn't me thinking of you all tied up!" the young man declared, earning himself a quizzical look from both of his lovers.

"…I mean, what is it you want to show me?" Yazoo clarified, and Kadaj sighed with relief.

He dipped his head to Yazoo's beautiful body and brought him to full life with one soft, slow suck that made Yazoo arch a little, startled by his suddenness.

Kadaj paced himself, breathing slowly and shallowly, eyes closed. He felt the roundness of Yazoo's flesh in his mouth, the turgid head, the throbbing vein, the silky skin. He played it with his tongue, his teeth, his lips, and when Yazoo was fully hard, he began to do as Reno had shown him.

He sucked and slid his lips all the way down until he felt the soft, hairless skin of Yazoo's groin against his mouth. He swallowed, squeezing with his throat and lips, adding pressure with his tongue, one small hand sliding down to cup Yazoo's tight balls.

His brother let loose another moan, louder and less restrained, his flanks tightening, one hand groping to grip Reno's hip hard.

"See?" Reno asked, his tone teasing and soft. "He's gotten better already…"

Yazoo couldn't respond and Kadaj took pride in that, sliding up with hard suction to snatch a breath and slowly repeat it all over again. He liked the way that Yazoo writhed against him, the way he sounded when he made those soft noises. He liked to see his brother undone, outside of his usual cool calmness. He was always beautiful, but when he was moved by passion he was simply breathtaking.

"Alright," Reno finally said, shifting against Yazoo's side, a soft flush of need on his high cheeks. "Hop up here, Kadaj, I want you in front of Yazoo."

Kadaj reluctantly pulled away, secretly thinking that his brother's was much easier to deal with than Reno's, size-wise. He crawled up on hands and knees to lie next to his brother, and rolled onto his side when Reno moved him over.

He heart Reno whispering to Yazoo, the soft noise of kisses, the brush of their fingers as they moved at his back. He felt the heated tip of Yazoo's body press between his bottom and he went still when he realized it was Reno's fingers leading him in, pressing that flesh up into him.

"Relax, baby," Reno admonished, feeling Kadaj tighten a little. When the boy took a deep breath and went loose, the man softly praised, "Good, baby, good. Relax and let your brother in."

Yazoo curled around Kadaj's back, one arm sliding beneath his side to hold him close, the other curving beneath his arm as Reno pushed him deep.

Kadaj wriggled a little, accommodating the press of Yazoo's body inside of his. Yazoo's breath softly stirred his hair, and the older man reached down to caress Kadaj's own stiff body, making him gasp and twitch.

"Here it comes, pretty baby," Reno warned, and Kadaj heard his soft grunt of effort, felt Yazoo shudder as he took all that Reno had to offer.

The man settled against Yazoo's back and reached across him to grip Kadaj's hip.

"I don't want you to do nothin', Yazoo," he whispered, kissing his ear, and then his cheek. "You just lay there and let us do the work for once."

He tightened his grip on Kadaj and said, "Move with me, baby."

Kadaj nodded, a little breathless from the feel of Yazoo inside of him. It had been a long time compared to what he was used to, and he ached for the keen pleasure of it.

Reno pressed close, sandwiching Yazoo between them, and then drew back to push deep, rocking both slender young men with the force of his thrust.

Kadaj caught his breath and Yazoo sobbed softly in pleasure, the push and pull of his two lovers working him between them so that every need was filled. Kadaj matched the movement of Reno's body, following the pull of his hands, the push of his hips, rocking on Yazoo's cock so that it all blended together into a seamless whole. He closed his eyes and reached back to cup his brother's head, his fingers tangling in Reno's red hair as well, his slim body writhing to bring himself more pleasure, to bring _Yazoo_ more pleasure.

Yazoo's hand trembled on his swollen sex, his grip alternately tight and loose. It was enough for Kadaj, who'd denied himself for too long out of fear of Cloud. He thrust his hips forward as Reno drew back, driving his slick sex through Yazoo's fingers, and his brother tightened his hold instinctively, making Kadaj cry out.

It was slow and steady, but as much as Reno disliked rushing sex, he'd been without his lovers for too long, and they both knew it. His slow, languid movements grew sharp and hasty, jostling them so hard that the bed started to creak in complaint. He shifted over them, his corded arm braced on the bed next to Kadaj's shoulder, his long leg sliding up to give himself leverage. It rolled Yazoo half-atop Kadaj, who didn't even care about the weight of their bodies over him.

Reno lunged up over them, pistoning his hips so that Yazoo wailed, sweaty and wild at Kadaj's back. His hand was wedged against the bed but he rippled his fingers, bringing a shock of sensation to Kadaj.

"_Reno_!"

"Let it go for me, pretty baby," the man tightly said, gasping as he pumped against them, groaning when Yazoo's body went rigid and he cried aloud with pleasure.

The electric feel of Yazoo's orgasm made Kadaj shudder. He could feel every muscle spasm, feel every hard contraction of the cock inside of him, could feel the slippery slick sliding out of him as Reno pushed Yazoo deeper and deeper. He spread his lithe legs a little wider and Yazoo took the opening and stroked him roughly, still gasping, still caught in the throes of his climax.

Reno groaned above them, driven to the edge by his lover's orgasm. In a throaty, low voice, he said, "Kadaj, baby, let it go for Daddy."

Kadaj clenched his teeth and uttered a strangled, sharp cry when Yazoo's working hand and strutted cock roughly brought him to release. He closed his eyes against the spots he saw and bucked beneath them both, earning a soft moan from his brother and a deeper, more dangerous sound from Reno.

He let it just rush over him, let every nerve-ending scream with delight, let the huge, aching fullness of it break free of him and spill over the sheets, spill over Yazoo's hand, spill over the edge of his awareness. He was just sensation and heat, and bundle of pulsing, delicious pleasure that hit him in a series of wracking spasms that left him weak and limp against the covers, panting with the force of it.

Dimly, he heard Reno's distinctive, low moan and shivered when Yazoo did, feeling the man tighten above him to squeeze Reno's heavy cock in the midst of his climax. Their soft, yielding bodies moved beneath his frenzied thrusts, taking all the force he had to offer, cushioning his strength in their own accepting softness until he finally slumped over them both in a tangle of limbs and flushed heat.

Slowly, they caught their breath, piled haphazardly atop each other, their skins slick with sweat. Kadaj felt the moist puff of Yazoo's breath against his ear, the lax curl of Reno's fingers against his thigh. He thought he should feel uncomfortable pinned beneath them as he was, but instead he just felt safe and content. Because this was how it was _supposed_ to be – the three of them all together.

"I'm really happy you're home, Yazoo," he murmured sleepily, feeling the pull of rest after such exertions.

"I'm really happy, too, Kadaj," Yazoo said, his low voice rumbling against Kadaj's back.

Kadaj smiled, and dreamily added, "We should celebrate with some ice cream."

Reno chuckled above them and said, "As long as you both want toppings, Princess."


	38. Babysitting

School started back before Kadaj knew it, and life returned to normal in Reno's household…or, normal for _them_, anyway.

Reno had decided to take Yazoo on a trip somewhere warm where he could fully recover, and after reminding Kadaj that he had school, a Phone Call World Record to maintain (which his stay at Seventh Heaven had _severely_ impacted), homework to do, and an important person to be, the youth graciously decided that he would stay home _this_ time around and let Reno take Yazoo off alone.

_This_ time.

And Kadaj fully expected to be compensated for his selflessness. Possibly even with another World Record.

"Now, I want you to behave and not be a pain while we're gone," Reno said, tossing a carton of smokes into his suitcase. "Rude will be here in a bit."

"_Rude_?" Kadaj asked, shocked. "Why can't Tifa come?"

"She has the bar to tend to, and you can't stay there thanks to Strife," Reno told him. "Rude's my pal, Kadaj, he don't mind babysitting."

_Babysitting_?

Kadaj drew up short, horrified and not having the first idea what _that_ would have to do with coming to stay with him. His confusion, however, was overpowered by his dismay because never in a billion _years_ had he imagined that large, silent Rude would go around sitting on babies!

"That's just awful!" he cried. He wasn't particularly fond of children – they were annoying, lacked all sense of fashion, and tended to steal his spotlight – but he'd never stoop to actually _sitting _on one of them…even if they were really asking for it sometimes. "_Babysitting_? Don't the babies' mothers get angry?"

Reno gave him A Look and drawled, "_No_, usually they're pretty happy to have someone do it."

Utterly taken aback, Kadaj scurried to help his lovers pack. Though he was more in the way than anything, Yazoo was so happy he would simply kiss Kadaj whenever he was being annoying and laugh over his temper and pouts.

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted and Reno headed to answer it with Kadaj trotting behind him.

"Hey, buddy, how goes it?" Reno asked, pulling his tall, bald friend into a quick and friendly hug. "Good, you still got your key."

Rude nodded and Kadaj peeked at him from behind Reno's back. He'd never really seen Rude in Regular People clothes before – even at the awful dinner or when he'd drop by he was always in his severe dark suit. It kind of _scared_ Kadaj to see how _big_ he was, just all massive muscle testing the limits of his tee-shirt. Kadaj thought of him sitting on a baby and squeaked with alarm, "Oh, that's just not _right_!"

"What's wrong with you, weirdo?" Reno asked, and Kadaj mutely shook his head, so Reno just turned to Rude and said, "You gotta keep on him about his homework, yo. And only an hour of yapping on the phone on a school night, weekends don't matter. TV after homework, no Animal Planet, it upsets him. A bowl of ice cream after dinner but not before. Drop him off before work and he can catch the bus home. No visits to Seventh Heaven and no Cloud Strife in the house. He only gets twenty Gil as an allowance, don't let him sucker you, and only if he takes out the trash. You got all that?"

Rude nodded again while Kadaj glowered, irritated that Reno would mention all of that useless information when the larger issue of Rude sitting on unsuspecting children was looming before them.

"Alright, we'll be back next Sunday around ten, so it shouldn't be too awful scary," Reno said, idly lighting a cigarette. To Kadaj, he said, "You mind Rude, yo, or you're gonna get grounded _and_ spanked, and I'll revoke all ice cream privileges for life, you got me?"

Kadaj grabbed his arm and whispered, "Can I ask you something over here where Rude can't hear me?"

Reno smirked and said, "Sure, Princess," and let Kadaj tug him into the kitchen.

"Reno," Kadaj said, _hugely_ concerned. "Is Rude going to be god while you're gone?"

Reno took a long moment to answer, but he finally said, "Yeah, he sure is. Even god needs a vacation sometimes. So, while I'm gone, Rude is god."

Kadaj poked his head out and spied Rude idly thumbing through the magazines in the rack near the television. He squeaked again and turned back to Reno, breathlessly asking, "Will he be mad if I don't want to worship? He really worries me!"

Reno laughed shortly and breathed, "Nah, it's okay. It's only for a week. Rude hasn't been god before, baby, so he wouldn't know how to handle worshipping."

Kadaj blew out a _huge_ sigh of relief and said, "Good! Because I don't think I could worship someone who sits on babies!"

Reno blinked twice in startled shock before he burst into hard, mirthful laughter, tears filling his blue eyes. He pulled Kadaj into his arms and hugged him tight, careful not to burn him with his cigarette.

"Oh, baby, you never cease to amaze me!" he laughed, and Kadaj squeezed him back even though he had no idea why Reno was laughing.

Yazoo passed the kitchen and heard the laughter, so he stopped and asked, "What's he done now?"

"I'll tell you in the car," Reno said, still chuckling. He loosened his hold on Kadaj and tugged Yazoo close to kiss him, probably happier than Kadaj had ever seen him. "You all packed up?"

Yazoo nodded and ran his hand through Kadaj's hair, saying with true feeling, "I will miss you, Kadaj! Are you sure you won't be upset?"

"I won't be!" the boy said, and beamed at him, trying to be Grown Up about it. Reno had explained how important this was to them, and he desperately wanted to see them happy. Those days without Yazoo were some of the worst of his life…well, _this_ time around. Being killed by Cloud was the worst _last_ time. Talk about a day made of Epic Fail…

"Go say hi to Rude, baby, and I'll get the bags," Reno said, and kissed each of them again before heading back to the bedroom for the suitcases.

Nervous and restless, Kadaj followed Yazoo back into the living room to anxiously shadow him where his brother spoke easily to Rude, though the man only responded in monosyllables.

"Thank you again, Rude," Yazoo warmly said, and hugged him, which seemed to fluster the big man. "You brought us back together, I can't thank you enough!"

Reno came in with two suitcases and called in a teasing voice, "None of that, now!"

Yazoo let go of Rude, who was blushing, and said, "I can't help it, he's my hero!"

Reno grinned and said, "Yeah? Mine, too. Alright, c'mere, Kadaj, give Daddy a kiss goodbye."

Kadaj flung himself at Reno's chest and clung tightly, squeezing him.

Reno chuckled and squeezed him back before he kissed him – a deep, hungry, loving kiss that curled Kadaj's toes and left him breathless. When they parted, he licked his lips and gave Reno that dopey, love-struck smile he loved.

"Dork," Reno fondly said, and ruffled his hair.

"My little Kadaj," Yazoo crooned, and embraced him from behind, kissing his warm temple. "I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you, too, Yazoo!" Kadaj wailed, and turned to embrace him. He gazed up into Yazoo's eyes and implored him, "Take lots of pictures! Bring me lots of stuff! Promise?"

"Yes, Kadaj, we'll buy you lots of _stuff_!" Yazoo laughed, and extricated himself from Kadaj's grip to take up his suitcase.

"Alright, we're outta here," Reno said, and shook Rude's hand with a warm smile.

"Be careful," the large man admonished, and added, "Have fun."

"You can count on it," Reno told him, and hefted his suitcase before he took Yazoo's away from him.

The pair of them headed out of the door to Kadaj's litany of goodbyes and have funs.

Reno paused as he passed the threshold and looked back at Kadaj.

"You be a good boy for Daddy, baby," he said, and added with a wink and a chuckle, "Or else Rude will sit on you."

Kadaj yelped and sprang away from Rude as the door closed on Reno and Yazoo, the man's deep, amused laughter floating in their wake.


End file.
